A lump rose in her throat. She’d loved her father, but he hadn’t loved her. He’d never said it to her, hadn’t ever demonstrated it to her. She’d been the baby he hadn’t wanted, the child that had ruined his career. A lasting reminder of what his beloved wife had wanted and didn’t survive long enough to have. He’d done his duty by her, given her a roof over her head and food on the table, ensured she had a decent education, and as soon as the Duke’s money had arrived he’d left. Perhaps he was right, though. Perhaps it didn’t matter. Perhaps it was fine that this was all for show and that none of it was for her. Nothing ever had been, after all.
Well, not quite nothing.
There was one thing that was for her and he waited for her by the altar, exquisitely dressed in a morning suit of dove gray. The man who might not love her, but did want her, and certainly enough to demand a wedding night from her. That gave her some courage as she walked towards him, as did the look in his midnight eyes, full of a strangely intense satisfaction and fierce possessiveness that she didn’t quite understand.
It might have been the look of a man desperately in love who was finally marrying the woman of his dreams. Except she knew that wasn’t true, that he didn’t dream about her. That all of this was simply a show that he was putting on, and she was merely part of it.
But then there was no time to think too deeply as the ceremony began, so she pushed it aside, concentrating instead on remembering the lines she had to say.
And then before she knew it, Cedric’s ring was on her finger and her veil was being pushed aside as he bent slightly to kiss her.
People were smiling and clapping as she walked out of the church on her new husband’s arm, photographers clamoring, confetti in the air. She smiled reflexively at no one in particular as Cedric walked with her down the church steps to the long black limo that waited for them at the side of the road.
And then she was in the car, the door slamming shut behind them like the vault of a crypt, and she was finally alone with Cedric.
She turned to look at him, but the moment he’d got in the car he’d pulled out his phone and was now talking to someone.
Her husband.
She looked down at her hands clasped on the white silk of her gown, the yellow diamond sparkling, the heavy gold band of her wedding ring a perfect complement.
You’re married.
Yes, she was. But it didn’t mean anything. All that it meant was that now… she had no fucking idea what it meant. Her breath caught, everything tightening inside her.
She could still feel the warmth of his mouth as she’d leaned in to kiss him that day of their engagement, that ring heavy on her finger. Unable to stop herself.
Drawn inexorably to him by the heat in his eyes and the hunger that she couldn’t escape.
He’d been so still as her mouth had brushed over his and she’d wanted very much to make him move, to get him to reach for her, perhaps pull her down onto the carpet of his office and show her everything a man could do to a woman to give her pleasure.
But he hadn’t.
As soon as she’d lifted her mouth from his, he’d risen to his feet and moved away as if nothing had happened. As if she hadn’t shaken him as completely as he’d shaken her.
She’d told him that she was difficult. He’d been warned. And he hadn’t looked at all that perturbed about it, either, telling her he dealt with difficult people every day, which was probably true, given his business dealings. But were they more difficult than her? Had any of them nearly killed their father?
Cedric abruptly disconnected the call and pocketed his phone, turning his head and meeting her stare. And a familiar heat washed through her at the intense look in his gaze. Yes, this was for her. He was for her. The thought made a cold, hard knot in the center of her chest loosen slightly.
“Don’t worry, Anna,” His tone was lazy, at odds with the look in his eyes, and he reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips and brushing a kiss over the back of it. “We won’t be rushing into anything tonight. We’ll go at your pace,”
Unable to say anything, Anna nodded. He was talking about sex, and about the fact that he was going to wait until she was ready, but she had no idea how to tell him that at the moment, she didn’t mind if they went all the way. That she even needed it somehow. He’d think she was crazy. Hell, she thought she was crazy because she couldn’t seem to make up her mind, so instead she looked away from him, and let herself get lost in her thoughts.
_________
When they finally got back after their reception party, it was almost dark. Cedric helped her out of the car when they arrived at Haerton Castle. Anna just looked around. This place she’d admired from a distance all these while was now going to be her home… At least until she had done her part, given him a son, and they got a divorce. She wanted to have a look around, but it was late and all she wanted to do was get out of the red dress she’d worn for the reception party. It was a glittery, pretty little thing that hugged her figure and stopped just above her knees.
Cedric placed his arm possessively around her waist as he let her towards the front door and Anna fought to ignore the surge of awareness that shot through her at his touch. She was his wife now and he was allowed to touch her. Perhaps he was still putting up a show as they weren’t alone yet. It was also clear when they got inside that Cedric’s staff had spent a productive week airing out the house and freshening it up in preparation for their arrival. Her things had also been moved in the previous day, and now it was clear that her life had changed forever.