~~~There was a time, I packed my dreams away, living in a shell, hiding from myself. There was a time when I was so afraid. But baby that was then, I am made of more than my yesterdays. This is my now and I am breathing in the moment. As I look around, I can’t believe the love I see. My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt, that was then, this is my now.~~~
-Jordin Sparks-
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I have decided to stay in San Francisco for a month and Jack will be the one to supervise our business in New York with the help of our assistants. She let me stay so I could be with my daughter and have moments together.
But when I thought staying in San Francisco was a good idea, well, I was wrong. I have no idea that by staying, my patience, my goal and beliefs about moving on would be tested again.
And that test will start…
Today…
I woke up at 7:00 in the morning to help our maids and my mother prepare breakfast, the most important meal of the day.
While having breakfast with my parents and my brother, I noticed the smile that hadn’t left my daughter’s face, but I chose to ignore it and continued to eat. But as soon as I finished, she dragged me into the living room and asked me if we could go to the mall as she wanted to watch a children’s movie and buy some toys.
And since for me it was just a simple wish, I agreed and went with her to the mall.
“Mommy, can we go to the ladies room first?” Cali asked me as soon as we entered the entrance.
“Sure, baby.”
I nodded, not knowing she wasn’t really going to pee. I got confused when she told me to wait outside as she can manage herself. Of course, I refused but she used her puppy eyes which she knew my weakness, so I have no choice but to wait for her at the door.
She took almost 10 minutes inside the ladies room and when I was about to follow her, she has already appeared in front of me with the widest smile painted on her lips.
“I’m done, mommy, let’s go!”
“What took you so long?” I couldn’t help but asked her.
“Because there were a lot of people inside and I waited for the vacant cubicle.”
-‘Hmm… Oh, well, she has a point.-‘ I said to myself, nodding. “So what movie do you want to watch, baby?”
“Uhm, can we eat first mommy before we go to the cinema?”
“Oh, okay. I’m sorry I forgot about that thing.”
“It’s okay, mommy.” She said, looking at the pink wristwatch in her hand with a frozen design. “Hmm… I think I want to have some pizza, burger and sundaes, mommy.”
“Alright, we can have that all, baby but are you sure you can eat all of those?”
“Yup! Daddy always brings me burgers and sundaes every time he comes to visit me at grandma’s house.”
“Ohh… is he alone?” I bit my lip as soon as that question left my mouth. What do I care if he brought anyone to visit his daughter?
When we were inside the fast-food restaurant, I noticed she kept looking at her wristwatch but what shocked me was the ring I heard from her small backpack.
“Wait! Is that a cellphone ringing?” I asked, pointing to her bag.
“Oops!” Her eyes widened when she looked at me. “Yes, it is, mommy?” She nodded, giving me an awkward smile as she took the phone out of her bag.
I think someone is calling as it keeps on ringing.
“Who’s that phone, Cali and where did you get?”
“Uhm… daddy gave me this phone.”
“Your daddy— I-It was from your dad?”
“Hmhm… he gave this to me on my birthday.”
“But why didn’t you tell me?”
“I-I just forgot to tell you, mommy.” She answered, avoiding my gaze.
“You forgot to tell me or you really didn’t tell me?
“A-Actually, mommy it was dad who told me not to tell you that he gave me a phone.”
“What? He told you not to tell me, but why did he do that?”
She just gave me a shrug for an answer.
Why do I feel she’s hiding something from me? And after a few seconds, her phone rings again.
“It’s your dad, am I right?”
She nodded with a smile.
“Fine, answer his call and ask him what he wants, I’ll just go to the counter to order our food.”
And that’s what I did. While ordering our meal, I don’t know but I feel something strange is going to happen. I took a glance at my daughter and saw her on the phone and based on her facial reactions, she seemed happy and excited. I was just wondering what her father telling her at the moment.
“Excuse me, ma’am, may I know your order, please?”
“Oh, I’m sorry…” I turned to the smiling lady behind the counter, but before I could even speak for my orders, someone one has spoken up for me… Luke.
“Miss, please give us three large fries, one bacon cheddar burger, one mushroom swiss burger and please give us extra toppings of cheese and caramelized onions, three pineapple juice and a cup of chocolate sundaes—” ( and he added smiling ) “… that’s our baby’s favourite…”
I stared at him with my mouth open as he expressed his orders one by one.
“What about you, sweetheart, what do you want?” He asked me with an extra sweet smile.”
“Huh!” I hissed. “What are you doing here?”
“Oops, sweetheart, that’s not listed on their menu and the lady is waiting for your order.” He whispered in my ear.
-‘Haist!’- I just formed my fist and put aside the annoyance that instantly builds in me. As if I still have a choice. “I’m sorry, Miss, just give me one cream cheese and garlic flame burger and one jalapeno avocado mac and cheese, that’s all.”
I was about to take my wallet but Luke has already passed his card to the lady.
“All our orders are for dine-in, Miss, thank you.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked through gritted teeth after pulling him out of the line.
“Well, I came here because my daughter invited me to watch a movie and for a sun-date with my family.”
“Family?” I repeat, glaring at him “Can you stop using the word family? Because the idea of a family in your head no longer exists!”
“Sam—”
“We’re no longer a family, Mr Williams! You ended it the moment you chose to be with her, remember?” I know that even if I haven’t mentioned his girlfriend’s name, he will understand it immediately.
“I just want to be with you and Cali.”
“You have no obligation to me, Mr Williams. Yes, you are my daughter’s father and that’s just it, nothing more, nothing less!”
“But it’s my daughter’s wish, I was just granting it.”
“Your daughter’s wish? Then, choose a date where you can take her out and spend time with her without interrupting our moments! Can’t you see, this is just a mother and daughter date, so It means we don’t need you here!”
“This is just for Cali, Samantha.”
“Well, I don’t believe you. Cali didn’t invite you because the truth is that it’s just you who invited yourself or maybe, this is your idea. You told her to convince me to take her out this morning and you’ll just follow and show up yourself, so it wouldn’t be obvious, am I right? But I guess I have no choice since you’re already here, I just hope you know how to read between the lines!”
“I’m sorry.”
“And by the way, don’t pretend to be my husband again, because we both know you’re not! Let me remind you for the last time, you-are-just-Cali’s-father and that’s just it, so please know your position the next time!”
I didn’t give him a chance to speak as I turned around and immediately went back to our table. But I felt him follow behind me and I confirmed that when Cali called him excitedly.
“Daddy!”
“Hello, my princess.”
I ignored how they hugged each other and how Luke kissed his daughter’s forehead. I sat in front of Cali’s seat, trying to be calm and hiding the anger.
“Cassandra Lizeth,” I called her by her full name in which she turned to me with wide eyes. She seemed to be afraid as I called her not by her nickname and I know she knew I was mad.
“Mommy?”
“Why didn’t you tell me your dad is coming?”
“Mom—”
“It’s not her fault, Sam. I was the one who told her not to inform you.” Luke said, interrupting his daughter.
-‘I was right.’- I turned to him, pretending not to know the reason. “And may I know why Mr Williams?”
But before he could open his mouth, Cali looked at me and answered for her father.
“Mommy, I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you daddy will join us, it’s just that I also want to go out with him, I mean I want us to have lunch together, you, daddy and I and we would watch some movies and go out as a family like what I’ve always heard from my friends’ stories when they go out with their mom and dad.”
-‘Ohh…’-
I gulped. I didn’t know her words would have a huge impact and a sting in my heart. It was a slap in the face for the two of us to hear those words from our daughter and I couldn’t help but blame myself again.
“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t know—” Luke interrupted me putting his hand on mine which at that moment was holding my daughter’s hands over the table
“No, Sam, it’s me who should apologize. I’m sorry…” He was stopped for a second when I pulled my hand out of his grip. “… for what I did. I’m sorry, my princess for not having been with you all these years, but I want you to know that starting today, daddy will do everything to make you happy and give you the family you dreamed of.”