~~~I don’t think time is gonna heal this broken heart. No, I don’t see how it can if it’s broken all apart. A million miracles could never stop the pain or put all the pieces together again. No, I don’t think time is gonna heal this broken heart. No, I don’t see how it can if we are still apart. And when you hear this song, I hope that you will see that THAT TIME WON’T HEAL THE BROKEN-HEARTED ME~~~
-Anne Murray-
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It’s already 9:00 in the evening and I was still wondering if I would still wait for Luke or would I just wait for tomorrow. But I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep but my insides were screaming and too eager to hear what he was going to say.
I sighed and checked to see if my daughter was sound asleep before getting up from the bed. I think I need a glass of fresh milk.
I left my room and went downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. I was filling my glass when I heard the front door open and based on sounds of the shoes that clicking on the floor every time its wearer taking a step, I’m a hundred percent sure that it was the person I was waiting for.
Taking the glass with me, I walked into the living room pretending not to see him, but he called me before I could take the first step of the stairs.
“Samantha!”
I stopped and glanced at him, again pretending I wasn’t interested in what he was going to say.
“What do you want?” I put the glass on top of the grand piano near the stairs.
“Tss!” He sneered, taking long strides to get closer to me and grabbed my arm. “What did you do, Samantha? Are you really going to drain my patience?”
“What are you talking about? Let me go!” I tried to pull my hand but he’s too strong.
“What are the things you are putting to Cali’s mind?”
“I said let me go!”
“You’re brainwashing my daughter!”
“What the hell—ahh!” I glared at him as I was almost lost my balance when he suddenly released my hand. Thank God I wasn’t holding the glass. “What did you say, I’m brainwashing Cali?”
“Why? Isn’t it true? She’s screaming the word mistress in the restaurant and do you think that’s a good thing for a child her age?”
“Wow! I can’t believe those words really came from you! What is it again, ‘not a good thing’? Have you already asked yourself regarding the immoral things you’re doing, huh? And how dare you accuse me of brainwashing my own daughter? If I did, what would I get in return?”
“You’re right, you wouldn’t get anything in return, but I’m warning you, Samantha—”
“What? What are you going to shut me up this time, huh? Why don’t you take responsibility for your actions, so you don’t look like a fool for blaming anyone of your failed date with your mistress? And for God’s sake, you really had the audacity to take her to that restaurant that was just a few steps from here!”
“This isn’t the issue! You shouldn’t teach Cali those kinds of words!”
“If you don’t want your daughter to know these kinds of words, then stop being the example! And for your information, it was you who first introduced your mistress to your daughter! She heard you talking to that woman on the phone in the study room! And what do you think she would ask me after hearing everything you said?”
He seemed so shocked, maybe he had no idea that his daughter heard how he told his mistress that he loved her… how he mentioned the word ‘I love you’.
“See? You are shocked, aren’t you? Huh! You know what, you’re lucky that I became your wife, the woman you married with but at the same time the woman you kept cheating and hurting repeatedly and yet you haven’t heard anything from me. I wasn’t creating any chaos, tell both our parents and scream on social media what you are doing!”
He didn’t say anything, he just stared at me.
“Tell me, Luke, what do you think of me, numb? Insensible? A person who doesn’t feel pain?” I gulped as my emotion started eating me from inside. “My world is slowly crushing down my feet, but I’m trying to be strong for my daughter. I know you don’t love me enough for you to go back with her and to cheat, but I’m asking you a very simple favor. If you can’t respect me for being your wife, at least respect me as the mother of your child.”
I didn’t wait for his response as I immediately ran upstairs after taking the glass over the grand piano.
I failed again. I told myself that I won’t cry when I talk to him, but I failed again because the moment I entered my room and closed the door behind me, I couldn’t help the tears to flow.
* * *
The next morning, my mom invited us for lunch, but Luke said he has an important meeting with his father in the office, so it’s just me and Cali who went to the mansion.
But to my surprise, Cali immediately jumped out of the car and ran to the mansion. I called her but she just told me she has something important to tell her grandmother. I felt confused about that important thing that she really had to run excitedly.
She’s yelling ‘Grandma’ as she walked into the living room. That day, I had no idea what’s running in her mind.
My mother was in the kitchen and cooking for lunch. And a few steps before Cali reached her grandma, her screams echoed in the four corners of the kitchen.
“Grandma!”
“Oh, my beautiful granddaughter.”
“Grandma, daddy has a mistress and her name is Cherry.”
“Huh!” Loud gasps were heard from the people who heard what Cali screamed… including mine. I was also stopped in a trance.
“What?” At that moment I saw a mixture of shock and confusion in my mother’s eyes. She levelled her height into Cali’s level and asked her again. “What are you talking about, honey?
“Daddy has a mistress, grandma.”
“Wait, Cali, do you even know what a mistress means?”
“Yes, Untie Jack told me that a mistress isn’t a friend, but the one who steals a husband and that Cherry is stealing my daddy from my mommy.”
“Oh, my God!” I bit my lip when my mom glanced at me in shock and then turned to Cali.
-‘Oh, Casandra Lizeth, is this the important thing you said you wanted to tell your grandma? Haist! Why didn’t I think this would happen?’-
“Cali, honey, you know it’s bad to tell lies, don’t you? The angels in heaven will be mad at you.”
“But I’m not lying, grandma, I saw daddy at the pizza restaurant and he… he kissed Cherry. And Untie Jack told me that mommy always cries because of her. She’s stealing my daddy from us that’s why he doesn’t love my mommy anymore! She’s bad, grandma!”
“Cali—”
“You can ask mommy about it.” She pouted.
-‘Oh, dear God!’- I bit my tongue and held my breath at the same time.
“Your mom knows all of it, that your father is cheating on her, I mean that he has a mistress?”
“Hmhm… and she always cries because of it. Grandma, I don’t want to see my mommy cry again.”
I didn’t wait for my mother’s words as I immediately ran into the living room. I felt my tears were about to burst when I heard my daughter’s words. She’s my life and her tears are my weakness.
I was about to run upstairs to my old room when I heard my mom’s voice. She followed me.
“Samantha!”
I pretended that I didn’t hear her, but she quickly grabbed my elbow and stood in front of me, completely blocking my way upstairs.
“Samantha.”
“Mom…”
“What the hell is going on with you and your husband? Is it true that he’s cheating on you?”
But instead of answering her question, I lunged at her and hugged her tightly. And there on her shoulder, I started crying.
“Mommy…” I hugged her so tight like I was used to do when I was a child, seeking her embrace as if it was the solution to all my problems.
“Oh, my baby.” She started rubbing my back and later I heard her sniff and that only added the weight I was carrying inside. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Mom…” I murmured as my shoulders trembled with my every sob.
‘Why didn’t I tell her?’ The same question I have in mind, maybe because I don’t want her to know I am in pain, that I’m always crying and no one hugs me every night to comfort me and ask me how I feel. I didn’t tell her because she’s my mom and the pain I have would be double for her. I know that because I’m a mother now and the pain that my daughter feels is also a stab in my heart.