49

I felt sick to my stomach as I thought back to those last couple of days I had with Cece. I knew Carter and the rest of the house knew what the news reports said, but they didn’t know my side of the story, no one really did. I had done my best to keep those memories locked away.
He took us three days before Cece’s fifteenth birthday. For three days, he tried to convince me to give myself to him. I drew in a breath and fought against the tears I knew would be coming. Cece begged me not to give in, even when he would beat her to punish me for misbehaving, she begged me not to do what he wanted. Every time I started to break, she would look me in the eyes and tell me to stay strong, that we would be O. K.
I let out a sarcastic chuckle as I paced, Can you believe it ? My little sister was the one telling me that everything would be fine, that we would find a way out of the situation. It was supposed to be the other way around. I was supposed to be the one that kept her safe. I was supposed to be the one that..
Carter stood and started around the bed toward me. He stopped as I held my hand up. I didn’t want his comfort, not now. I needed to do this on my own. I needed to feel this pain. It was what kept me safe, kept me from opening myself up to the possibility of ever being hurt again.
Lea, his words were soft, caressing my tattered and bruised soul. I shook my head and took a step back.
Don’t. He hesitantly nodded and I continued, On the morning of Cece’s birthday, we woke up to an empty house. But we knew that wherever he went, he would be back soon. He never left us for more than a hour or two at a time. I had just about gotten my ropes freed when he came back in. He was furious when he realized what was happening. He went to the bathroom and came back with a syringe. As he stuck me with the needle, he told me he was going to give me the ultimate punishment for misbehaving and then he was going to take what he wanted from me, that he was done asking.
After a few minutes I felt my entire body go numb. I couldn’t move. I struggled to breath. I could barely hold my head up. But he made sure that I was able to watch every move he made. I watched helplessly as he walked over to Cece and took a piece of rope and..
I choked back a cry and stepped back as Carter reached for me. My lips quivered as I shook my head and looked into his cold steel eyes.
I watched the life leave her eyes Carter. I could have stopped him. I could have given myself to him. But I didn’t. Instead of Cece celebrating her birthday, she had her life taken from her. I will always live with that guilt.
Carter didn’t say anything and he didn’t make a move toward me.
You wanted to know why I was crying on the way home last night ? What triggered the night terror ?
Carter simply nodded, his eyes flashing an array of emotions as he stood quietly in front of me.
It was because of Darrell and his wisdom, the words that he spoke last night. The way Darrien and Tony joke around with me, making me laugh when all I want to do to is scream or cry. The way our guards keep watch over me, making sure that no one gets close enough to hurt me. Tara and her bitchy attitude because she thinks I’m weak and undeserving. Eva’s appreciation of my skills on and off the dance floor. And Jenny, my voice broke at Jenny’s name, because her manners and attitude reminded me of Cece.
I looked away as I continued, my voice now a whisper. And you Carter. Because of the way you make me feel.
I felt Carter come and stand beside me, his chest inches from my side. He reached his hand up and pulled back the hair that had fallen in my face. And how do I make you feel Lea ?
I shivered at his touch, fighting the urge to turn and run to protect myself from the feelings swirling around my heart and soul. I stepped back and shook my head, my voice sounding small as I spoke.
I, I can’t. Not yet.
Why not Lea ?
I looked up and met his eyes, the hurt clearly evident on his face. As I stepped away, I knew that he knew why I couldn’t tell him what it was that he wanted me to say, what he needed me to say.
Carter backed away and grabbed a tee from the side chair, slipping it on as a low growl rumbled through him, his face going blank.
When you can tell me, Lea, let Darrell or one of my guards know. They’ll know where to find me. In the meantime, you need to get ready. You have a follow up appointment with Dr. Martin before brunch.
Carter turned and walked toward the door. I took a step forward and threw my hand over my mouth to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape.
Carter, I cried out quietly.
Carter paused before turning the knob and stepping out, closing the door quietly behind him without looking back.
I sank to the floor and hugged my knees to my chest, my heart breaking as his footsteps disappeared down the hallway, and I choked out the words he hadn’t allowed himself to hear, I’m sorry.
Carter’s P. O. V.
Carter.
Lea’s muffled cry had ripped through me as I walked out of the room. I had forced myself not to look back. I didn’t know what else I could do to show her how much I cared for her, how much I felt for her. I had been patient, as patient as a man like me could be.
I knew that Lea was struggling, truly I did. I had tried to show her that I wasn’t the same as the man that took her and her sister. I had tried to show her a different side of me, a side of me that no one else had ever seen. I had tried dammit.
And I had failed.
I had made sure to keep a safe distance from her the rest of the day, focusing on holding meetings, being briefed by my members, and delegating jobs that needed to be taken care of. I knew they knew something was wrong, but they made sure to keep their comments to themselves. The fun, carefree attitude I had displayed the night before had been replaced with the demeanor they knew all too well, the stone cold, hard as ice one. And with the mood I was in, they knew that I wouldn’t hesitated to snap their necks if they questioned me as to why.
I shook the thoughts of yesterday morning from my mind and made my way to my office. I couldn’t face Lea, not just yet. The ache in my chest from her comparing me to that man, and her refusal to tell me how she felt about me, was still almost more than I could bear.
I had skipped brunch again this morning to finish up the work I had neglected over the last couple of weeks. However, as I pushed the doors open, I stopped cold and let out a string of silent curses as I spotted the last person I needed to deal with sitting behind my desk.
You know Carter, chasing tail really doesn’t suit you.
Mother looked up from the file that she had opened in her hands. Her tone was even and cold as she laid it down and looked me over, distaste clearly etched on her face.
Look at you. She waved her hand up and down, You look like shit. I know I taught you better than to let some little bitch get under your skin like this.
Mother. I acknowledged and ignored the snide remarks of the woman who birthed me and went straight to the point, Why are you here ?
Mother sat back in my chair and steepled her hands over her chest, You forget who you are talking to, Son.
I knew exactly who I was talking to, but I made no attempt to correct her, and I made no attempt to move any farther into the room, instead I opted to lean against the door frame, folding my hands in front of me as I watched Mother’s every move. We stayed like that for a few minutes, sizing each other up before she finally broke the silence.
I am here because I am going to spend some time with the girl who is distracting my son from running my organization.