Chapter 236:
Mixed Emotions
Megan’s Point of View:
There was something in the air, brought by Miles’s visit, that wakened feelings like the passing of a storm that hadn’t quite passed. Chris and I sat beside each other on the couch; the silence was heavy but comfortable. It felt good to finally tell our truths, yet I knew there was much to get through.
“Chris,” I finally broke the silence, very softly. “I want to thank you for standing by me through all this. It means so much more than you will ever know.”
He smiled rather wistfully and reached over to take my hand. “Megan, I’m here because I care about you. We’re in this together, remember?”
I nodded, feeling wells of gratitude and love for this man who had become so intrinsic to my life. “I do. But it’s all so complicated. My past, my career, Miles. .. it feels like everything is tangled up in a mess I can’t unravel.”
Chris squeezed my hand reassuringly. “We will figure it out, one step at a time. What matters most is how we feel about each other.”
I hauled in a deep sigh, only then falling back on the couch. “You’re right. Yet, it’s hard to let go of the guilt and the fear. I’m scared; it’s all going to overwhelm us with emotions.”
Chris’s expression turned serious. “Megan, it is okay to be scared. We can’t let our lives be run by fear. We have come way too far in this journey to let it win now.
I felt his words stirring something in my gut as I looked up at him with regained determination. “You’re right, we have to see these emotions through no matter how knotted they are.”
Then, on cue, my phone vibrated on the coffee table and broke the moment. I turned to see on the screen a message from my coach, Jane.
“Jane wants to meet,” I said and turned toward Chris. “She has been such a big part of my life, and it’s time that she knows about us.”
Chris nodded in agreement. “I think that’s a good idea. She has been there for you through thick and thin. She deserves to know.”
I tapped out a quick response to Jane, setting up a meeting with her later that evening. “Done. She’ll meet us at the gym after her last training session.”
Chris stood, stretching. “Want to get some air before we go? A walk might help clear our heads.”
I smiled at his thoughtfulness. “Yeah, I’d like that.
We strolled across the local park. The fresh air and greenery provided much-needed rest from the whirlwind of emotion that seemed to wrap itself around today. As we walked along the path, an element of peace settled upon me.
“Chris, I’ve been thinking about my career and where it’s headed,” I finally broke the comfortable silence. “Boxing has been a part of me for so long, but now. .. I’m not so sure.”
He turned to me thoughtfully. “What do you mean?”
I inhaled deeply and stumbled for the appropriate words to describe what, up until then, had just been simmering inside of me. “Boxing has given me so much, but it has taken a lot from me also. I have just been focused on winning, on proving myself, so much that along the way I lost what makes me happy.”
Chris nodded in understanding. “It’s hard to let go of something that has defined you for so long. But maybe it isn’t about letting go completely. Maybe it is about finding a balance.”
His words felt very receptive to me. “You’re right. I don’t have to give up boxing, but I need to find a way to make room for other things that matter. Like us.”.
Chris smiled, his eyes warm. “We shall figure it out together, Megan. Whatever path you decide to take, I shall be here with you.”
I squeezed his hand again, feeling yet another surge of my love for him. “Thank you, Chris, for everything.”.
As we walked on, I began to feel clear-headed once more. How all the emotions and complexities of my life were going to untangle themselves was beyond me, but it would be okay as long as Chris was there for me.
Later that evening, we pulled up to the gym where Jane was closing out a training session with one of her fighters. She looked up as we entered; her expression was curiosity and concern intermingled.
“Megan, Chris,” she greeted us, wiping at the sweat running down her forehead. “What’s going on?”
I took a deep breath, stepping forward. “Jane, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s about Chris and me.”
She raised one eyebrow and darted her gaze from one of us to the other. “I’m listening.”
I turned to Chris then, who nodded at me in encouragement. “Well, Chris and I have… started out as a business deal, really. He had to be my pretend boyfriend just to help things along on the public image front. But things have changed. We’ve changed.”
My words do seem to gentle Jane’s expression a bit. “I see. And how does that make you feel, Megan?”
“I care about Chris, deeply,” I said, trying to modulate my tone into something calmer. “He has been standing by me like a rock, and I would like to be honest with you about our relationship.
She then turned to Chris, who came forward to speak. “Jane, this may be a bit out of the blue, but I have developed feelings for Megan. We’d like to see where this relationship might go, and we thought it appropriate to be honest up front with you.”
She was silent for a moment, then smiled. “I’m glad you told me. Megan, I have always been behind you, and that does not change now. If Chris makes you happy, then I am happy for you.
I felt my tension release with a wave of relief. “Thanks, Jane. Your support means everything to me.”
She nodded her head reflectively. “Just remember, relationships take work. It is communication, trust, and understanding. You two are going to have to get through so much, but I believe in you both.”
Chris and I exchanged a grateful look. “We will do it, Jane. We’re committed to making this thing work,” he said.
Jane smiled and slapped us on the back. “Good. Now, let’s get to work. We’ve got a championship to win.”
We trained a few hours, the sound of the gym a familiar comfort against the emotional reveals of the day. I worked out on the punching bag, my second wind coming through now. This was my life-my career, my future, too. Now I had someone to share it with.
Chris and I walked back to my apartment after training. The air was cool and refreshing during this time of the night. I felt lighter, as if weight had been taken off my shoulders.
“Today was a lot,” I said, looking at Chris. “But at the same time, I feel like we’re heading in the right direction.”
He smiled, tucking his arm tighter around my waist. “We are. And we will continue going forward, together.”.
I leaned in to him, satisfied for the first time in so long. “Together.”