Chapter 235:
A Moment of Realization
Chris’s Point of View:
Megan’s penthouse was heavy with air rife with what was unsaid. The golden sun sent the final rays through the window to the floor. Megan sat on the sofa, pressing her hands firmly against the knees and gazing at the coffee table. I stood at the window looking over the city, trying to clear my thoughts. We had reached that point when something had to give.
“Megan,” I finally said, breaking the thickened silence. “We need to speak about what’s been going on with us.”
She lifted her eyes, and in them was a mix of apprehension and determination. “Chris, I know. I have been avoiding this conversation, but we cannot go on this facade as though everything is all right.”
I got up and took a seat opposite her, putting my elbows on my knees and hunched forward. “This was all about business when it started. A way for me to help out your image, a way for me to further my career. Things have changed. We’ve changed.”.
Slowly, Megan nodded. “I know. It was to save face at first and to get my story out there, but you have been so much more to me-so much more than just a fake boyfriend or ghostwriter. You have become a person I rely upon, a person I care about.”
The words sent goosebumps down my spine. “I am feeling the same, Megan. However, we must not lie to each other anymore. No more pretending. No more hiding. We must confront this head-on.”
She took a deep breath, never once leaving my eyes with hers. “You’re right. I have been so caught up in keeping up this charade. I started losing focus on what was real. Real’s-I have feelings for you, Chris. Real feelings.”
I reached across the table and took her hand in mine as my heart pounded in my chest. “I care about you too, Megan. But this whole situation-with Miles, your ex, everything-that’s some messy crap.”
Megan squeezed my hand tight, the most reassuring squeeze possible. “I know it’s complicated. But I’m willing to fight for what we have. Are you?”
My eyes locked into hers, where all the strength and vulnerability sat. “I am, Megan. I’m just sick of all the act, of running, of making pretense. I want to be with you, for real.”
And the smallest, most hopeful little smile pulled at her lips. “Then let’s figure this thing out together. No more secrets.
Just as we were about to delve into our emotions, the doorbell rang. We both jerked in surprise. Megan’s smile fell as she stood up to answer it. I followed her, not knowing why, but that something did not feel right in my gut.
Megan opened the door to find Miles standing there, more disheveled than he had ever been. His eyes were red, his face etched with angry desperation.
“Miles, what are you doing here?” Megan asked, her voice shaking a little.
“I need to talk to you, Megan,” Miles said back, his voice gruff. “I know I really fucked up, but I need you to hear me out.”
Megan turned around to look at me. Her face was a picture of indecision. I nodded, gesturing that she should let him in. This needed to happen.
Miles came inside, his eyes flicking back and forth between Megan and me. “I understand I don’t have any right to ask anything from you after what I did, but let me explain.”
“What’s there to explain?” Megan asked, standing guard.
Miles ran a hand through his hair and then sighed noisily. “I left because I was scared. Scared of failing, scared of the commitment, scared of everything. Leaving you, though. that was the biggest mistake of my life.”
“You broke my heart, Miles,” Megan said, her voice breaking. “You left me when I needed you the most.”
“I know,” Miles said, his eyes welling up with regret. “And I am so sorry. I’m not asking to be forgiven. I just need you to understand. I’m trying to be a better person. I want to make things right.”
Megan regarded him. A little of the hardness in her expression softened. “Making things right doesn’t mean we can go back to how things were. Too much has changed.”
Miles nodded, his shoulders slumping. “I understand that. But watching you with Chris. it was as if I woke up to what an ass I’d been to you all the time. He’s a good man, Megan. Better than I ever was.”
I shifted uncomfortably at his words. “This isn’t about me, Miles. It’s about Megan and what she wants.”
She finally turned to me; her eyes sparkled with tears unshed. “What I want is to move forward. To stop being in the past and embrace what’s in front of me. And what’s in front of me is you, Chris.”
I took a step toward her, feeling a lump in my throat. “Megan.”.
He cut in just as I was going to add something more to the conversation. “I’ll not be in the way, Megan. I only needed to let you know that well, I’m very sorry. And I wish you much happiness. Thank you.”
He turned and went away, the door softly closed after him, leaving Megan and me standing in the foyer. Megan breathed a shaky breath and shook her shoulders.
I pulled her into my arms, whereupon she clung to me, holding tight. “It’s okay, Megan. It is time you got over the past.”
She clung to me, tears soaking through my T-shirt. “I’ve just been so scared of how I might feel. But with you, I do feel safe. I feel like maybe, just maybe, I can really be myself.”
I stroked her hair, feeling for her; my heart thumped in my chest. “You can be you with me, Megan. I’ll stand by you, hell or high water.”
She leaned back a bit and gazed up at me from tear-stained cheeks. “Thanks, Chris. For everything.”
I cupped her face in my palms, scrubbing away the tears with my thumbs. “We’re in this together, Megan. No more acting. No more hiding.”
She nodded, the crying breaking into a small smile. “Together.”