Chapter 194:
Breaking Boundaries
Max’s POV
The sun barely began to poke its head out, the softly lit golden hues peeking from high windows into the art studio space. This was my favorite moment of day. Quiet, the world seeming as if it had all its possibilities right in front of it. I had this new piece forming in my head for weeks.
As I sketched, all the thoughts that were running back at me constantly were about Megan. There was something about this girl making me go further than the bounds. Lately, however, I had noticed a change in Lila. She had grown so very quiet, and it seemed like her eyes never smiled anymore. It was so worrying.
The door to the studio creaked open, and in walked Jake. He took a little time to look around before his eyes rested on me.
“Hey, Max. An early start?” he said while collecting his sketchpad from the nearby table.
“Yeah, just trying to catch this idea before it’s gone,” I said back, nodding in his direction. “What about you?”
“Same here,” he said, getting his workspace ready. “Oh, and something else I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Yeah, what’s up?” I said inquisitively.
Jake stuttered, “So there’s this thing with Lila. Something’s going on with her, which has to do with you and Megan.”
My heart sank. “What do you mean?”
He sighed and then looked at me seriously. “I think Lila has feelings for you, Max. And seeing you and Megan together is hurting her.”
The words felt like a blow to the solar plexus. “I had no idea,” I admitted, a guilty concern wrapping itself around my heart.
“She didn’t either. I didn’t know, not until recently. She’s. it’s beginning to get to her. I just thought you should know.”
“Thanks, Jake,” I said, wheels whirring into mental overdrive. “I need to talk to her.”
He nodded and gave me a clapping pat on the back before he resumed his work. There I sat for how long, trying to put everything together in my head. I had to come up with some way of bringing it out without hurting anyone else.
Later in the afternoon, I caught up with Lila in the studio. She seemed to have been alone for a long time, facing the white canvas, till all her energy was drained and what was left was a sad aura.
“Lila, can I talk to you?” I inquired in a hesitant tone.
She looked up as though caught by surprise, with an alarmed look in her eyes. “Sure, Max, what is it?”
I took a deep breath and then decided honesty was the best policy. “Jake told me you have feelings for me. Is it true?”
Her face tinged pink and she looked away for a minute. “I-I, yes, that’s true. But I don’t expect it of you, Max. I just needed someone to tell.”
“Lila, I had no idea,” I said and sat down next to her. “I am so sorry if I hurt you.”
She shook her head, tears glistening in the eyes. “It’s not your fault. You and Megan are great together. I just. didn’t realize my own feelings until it was too late.”
“I care about you, Lila. And I hate seeing you in pain,” I said softly. “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?”
She took a deep breath, drying her tears by rubbing them away. “I dunno. Maybe some space would really help. Just some time to sort my feelings.”
“Of course,” I said, feeling an aching heart for her. “Whatever you need.”
Minding the weight of accountability as I turned my back on her, Lila-my close friend, whom I hated to know-I only needed a way to get around this delicate situation.
That night, Meghan and I were sitting on the rooftop of our building and looking into the distance full of sparkling lights. I had to tell her about my conversation with Lila, but I didn’t know how to.
“Meghan, we really need to talk,” I started, my voice cautious.
She turned to me with full eyes. “About what, Max?”
“It is about Lila,” I said, taking her hand. “She feels something for me, and it hurts her to see us together.”
Megan’s eyes widened with surprise. “Oh my God, I had no idea.”
“Neither did I, not until Jake told me,” I said, squeezing her hand. “I talked with Lila today. She needs some space to figure things out.”
Megan’s eyes dropped; her furrowed brow. “I feel terrible. Lila’s been my best friend for years, and I didn’t see this coming.”
“Me too,” I said softly. “But we need to be there for her in whatever way she needs.”
She nodded, her eyes filled with determination. “You’re right. We need to support her, even if that means stepping back a bit.”
So, yeah, in time we gave Lila her space. It was hard, especially on Megan, but both of us knew what it was. At least I buried myself in my art; it was almost therapeutic, trying to channel some of that emotion into something productive.
One afternoon, while I was at work on an intricately detailed drawing, Jake stopped by my easel again.
“How’s Lila?” he asked, concerned.
“Her break days,” I answered. “We’re keeping some space.”
He looked rather relieved as he nodded and said, “That’s good. She needs time to heal.”
“I just hope she knows we are here for her,” I said, the worry evident in my tone.
“She just does,” Jake explained. “And she’s strong, Max. She’ll get through this.”
Soothing words but there was something in my stomach that felt helpless. Lila was hurting and there was only this much that I could do.
A week later, Lila was back in the studio, but her attitude felt greatly contained this time. She had this look of determination on her face towards Megan and me.
“Can we talk?” she asked; steadiness in her voice quite evident.
“Of course,” Megan replied, trying to smile reassuringly.
We found a quiet corner and sat down. Lila took in a great deep breath, gazing at both of us.
“I mean, I’ve been thinking,” she began. “I realized that what I feel for Max is not something that can just get shut off. But I also know that you two are happy together, and I don’t want to come between that or anything.”
“Lila, you mean so much to us,” I said with sincerity in my tone. “We want you to be happy too.”
She nodded, tears welling in her eyes. “I understand. And that is precisely why for some time I will be a little more concerned about myself. I need to be happy alone, without any person.”
Megan reached out to take Lila’s hand in hers. “We are here for you, Lila. Whatever you might need”.
“Thank you,” she responded, cracking a bit, “I just need some time to heal and sort things out.”
“We understand,” I said; the pain of this really tore at my heart for her. “And we will stand by you all the way.”
Sitting, the tension between us began slowly to seep away. It would be hard, I would not pretend that it would not. But somewhere, deep inside, I knew that together we would pull through this nightmare. Lila was resilient, she was tough, and she would come through alright in the end.
In the weeks that followed, Lila threw herself into her art with new vigor. I watched as her emotions ran onto the canvas. She was creating some of the most beautiful pieces I had ever seen. Here, stood her ability to turn that pain into something deep.
One evening, as we were all packing to leave the studio, Lila walked up to me and Megan with that small smile on her face.
“I’ve been thinking,” she continued, even-toned, “that perhaps we should just start all over. As friends.”
Megan and I shared a look. Goddamn. All of a sudden, relief had never tasted so delicious. “That would be great,” Megan replied. She was smiling.
“Yeah, Lila,” I chimed in. “That would actually be great.”
Leaving the studio with her would finally be a little hopeful. Our walls were no longer up, and with time, I knew that we could rebuild our friendship on a new foundation.