70

I let them sweat before I gave them my proposal.
“I’ll forgo legal recourse for certain considerations. First, my wife is never to know of this meeting. Second, reprimand her, demote her, do whatever you want except fire her. I need her to have a job during the divorce. Do what you want with the asshole, but in my opinion, this doesn’t seem like the first time to me. What if it had been a major donor or the wife or daughter of one? In my opinion, he’s a disaster waiting to happen. There again, an opinion, do what you want. Agreed? Good. Of course, we can’t write this up, but I’ve taped this conversation. Here.”
I pulled out the recorder and gave them the tape. I neglected to mention the other recorder still going.
“Now, if I make trouble for you, you can play the tape. And one more thing. You have a volunteer, Cindy Waller. She helped my wife conduct her affair and covered for her. It might be good if she wasn’t associated with you any longer.”
They looked like bobble heads, shaking up and down in agreement.
She did get demoted, and put on probation, but she kept her job. Cindy was pissed when they told her it might be best if she volunteered for another organization, but she understood.
“I feel like Jace was behind it.” She whined to Becky.
“What if he was? So what? I bet Allan would agree, if he would admit it. You’re judged by the company you keep Cin. And right now I’m toxic.
They allowed Greg to resign, and he didn’t get a letter of recommendation. I have no idea where he ended up, but he gave Becky a goodbye call.
“They canned me. Oh, it was polite, but I’m gone, with no recommendation. I guess this is goodbye.”
She seemed sympathetic. “I’m sorry Greg. But we brought it on ourselves. At least you’re not married.”
There was silence for a second.
“Actually Beck, I am. She’s in service, in a not so nice place right now. She rotates home in three months.”
“You asshole! How could you do that to her? At least Jace is home, out of danger.”
“I agree. I am an asshole. But I was lonely, horny, and you were agreeable. I’m sorry about all this. You’re not gonna tell her, are you?”
“No. I have no way of contacting her, but even if I did, she doesn’t deserve what I’m going through. Love her hard when she gets back, and don’t EVER repeat this mistake.”
“I promise. I’m so sorry how it all turned out. I hope you get him back. You’re a hell of a woman, Becky. Goodbye.”
She cried into the phone for several seconds before hanging up. I thought about trying to contact his wife, but in the end I didn’t. She probably needed to know, but if he ran true to type she’d find out soon enough.
…
Kathy got in contact with Becky, and she jumped all over the chance to talk to me. At her suggestion, she went to three sessions alone first. I think Kathy was trying to prepare her, but she was too stubborn to see it.
The big night finally came. The first session. I figured she would try to ambush me, so I made it a point to be there thirty minutes early. Becky was really surprised when Kathy collected her from the waiting room and found me already there.
“Jace!” she cried, trying to hug me. Kathy imposed herself between us.
“Becky, for this to work, you have to give him his space. He’s already made it clear he doesn’t want any physical contact. If you don’t follow the rules I’ve laid out, he’ll leave, and he won’t come back. Understand?”
It took her a few minutes, but she gathered herself and sat down at the table.
“Becky, listen to me. I know you have things you want to say, and so does Jace. Remember, be calm, be clear, and avoid dramatics. Would you like to go first?”
She nodded, and we waited.
“First, I need to apologize, Jace. I know what I did was wrong. You have every right to be angry.
I have no excuse. I’m not even sure now why I did it. Was it worth the pain I’ve been going through? No way in hell. Would I ever be that stupid again? Not for anything.”
“But Kathy has explained to me that being sorry and apologizing won’t change a thing if you can’t forgive me. I know I fucked up and destroyed a good marriage. What I need to do now is convince you to give me another chance. Will you promise to talk to me? If after we finish these sessions and still can’t forgive me, I’ll walk away and not fight the divorce.”
I looked between her and Kathy. I could see her hand in this. Maybe those individual sessions had helped after all.
I spoke, she was obviously waiting for me to say something.
“I know that speech took a lot out of you, Beck. I was thinking about it for the last few days. We’ve known five couples over the years who’ve split up over cheating that have gone to counseling to try to save their marriage. How many made it? I checked, one. Gary and Sherrie.
And they don’t cuddle in public, the little touches they used to give each other all the time, gone. It’s been two years, and they’re still not back yet. Could you live like that? Knowing I’d always suspect you if you were gone, even for an hour or two? If I automatically tried to verify everything you told me? Snooped in your purse, checked your computer and cell phone on a regular basis? I couldn’t.”
She was flinching at my words like each was a physical blow, but kept a determined look on her face.
“If I got to cuddle with you every night in bed I could. I’d do anything and everything I could to reassure you, to show you I’ve changed, and you could trust me again.”
I threw up my hands.
“Ah! There it is, another of the magic words, trust. Exactly how would you get me to trust you again? You went out when we were dating, lying about it when we hadn’t even made a commitment yet. I should have seen it then. Now, years later, after being together for all this time, planning a family, a future, you do it again. Were you lonely this time too? Bored because I was out trying to build a business and a better future for us and didn’t have time to go to dance clubs or out on the town?”
I was finally letting go of some of the poison, and it felt good. Becky was looking horrified. Kathy stepped in.
“Our time is up. I want you to do some homework for me before our next meeting. Becky, I want you to think about what Jace said. Tell him in detail how you plan to get him to trust you. Jace, I need you to think about it too. Do you think you can get over your rage and try to rebuild a relationship with Becky? Be honest and clear. That’s all until next week. Jace, could I see you for just a second before you leave? Goodnight, Becky.”