64

There was no one in my parking lot when I got home, so I showered, changed, and headed back out. I went by the office, but Allen and Cindy were there. I figured Becky was lurking somewhere, so I drove by, went four hours away to the mountains, called and left a message at their house since I knew where they were, and told them I needed a break and would be back Tuesday.
I slept. I walked around in the sunshine enjoying it immensely. I ate when I wanted, what I wanted. Even stopped at a tourist trap and bought them all some gifts. Tuesday morning I was in the office bright and early. I had parked the car out of sight and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he walked in. He grabbed his phone immediately.
“Use that and I’m gone for the rest of the week. Understand?”
He nodded, watching me warily.
“Good. Let’s get to work. I feel great. That little break made a world of difference. I’ve come up with some good ideas. Tell me what you think.”
So until lunch time we worked away. He was excited about the new ideas.
At lunch I told him I’d see him in an hour, and left. Usually I ate a sandwich at the desk and kept working.
He had been back twenty minutes before me. Cindy was there twenty minutes later.
She drew in a big breath, and I held up mu hand.
“I’ll talk first, if you don’t mind. Becky doesn’t owe me a thing except honestly. We hadn’t talked about being exclusive. I would have hated it but understood if she told me she wanted to see others. But she didn’t. And then she lied about who she was with and where she was. That tells me a lot.”
She started to talk and I held my hand up again.
“Not done yet. Tell her not to bother me. I’ll call her sometime this week. One more thing, did you know she was on a date? And then lied to me about it? If I think you did, it would affect our friendship greatly. If I can’t trust you you’re not my friend. Understand?”
She paled a little and Allan looked uncomfortable. Then she lied her ass off.
“I didn’t know or I would have stopped her. I’m mad at her too, Jace. I thought she was finally growing up. I’m as disappointed as you are. I chewed her a new ass over it.”
When?” I asked.
“What do you mean when?”
“When did you chew her a new ass?”
“That night. She called me from the club, a crying mess. We spent half the night looking and waiting for you. We finally went to my house and crashed for a few hours. You had come and gone while we were asleep. Can I at least call her and tell her you’re back and will talk to her?”
I sighed, mentally. Maybe she was telling me the truth after all.
“Yes, by all means call her. Now, if you want to keep that house and that tank you drive, you need to let us go back to work.”
At six on the dot I told Allan I was leaving for the day.
“You’re kidding, right? There’s lots to do yet.”
“And it’ll all be here tomorrow when we come back. No more killing myself, at least for awhile.”
I left him with his mouth hanging open. The next day I placed an ad for an associate. Allan was pissed because it ate into the profits.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll pull the ad. But if we do, from now on we’re hourly. The salary goes out the window.”
He didn’t like that because he knew I easily worked at least a third more than he did, so he shut up.
I hired a woman straight out of school. She was really talented but had no real world experience. I ended up spending a lot of time with her at first, but she developed nicely. Our business actually increased because we could handle more.
Between Aida and I we kept the ideas rolling while Allan handled the contacts and sold.
…
I called Becky like I promised. She didn’t know what to say. I waited.
“I’m sorry,” finally came out.
“For what?” I wasn’t going to make it easier.
“For lying to you. For going out behind your back. I was climbing the walls, and just wanted to get out. I wasn’t going to sleep with him. I just needed a companion.”
I shocked her.
“I understand. And you hadn’t made me any promises. But I expected honesty, and you lied like crazy. Tell me how I could trust you enough now to return to where we were? Or go forward? You know I was wanting more. I thought you did too. Ah well, a leopards spots and all that.”
That off hand comment actually sent her into a rage.
“Damn you! You always had it in the back of your head I couldn’t measure up, didn’t you? I bet you threw your arm out of socket and put a callous on your tongue patting yourself on the back and saying ‘I told you so’. I was falling in love, asshole, for the first time in my life. I was scared, and lonely. Feelings I never had to handle. I fucked up. I’m sorry.”
I said it gently, just above a whisper.
“I’m sorry too. And I was already in love with you.”
I hung up to her voice pleading with me to stay on the line.
…
I didn’t talk to her for two weeks.
When I did, I didn’t expect what was said.
“Would you like to go to a club Saturday? Maybe eat at that new Indian restaurant before?”
I was shocked by the anger in her voice.
“Decided to forgive the poor sinner, huh? My penance over?”
I hung up, gently. I didn’t need this.
Cindy called me.
“What did you say to her?”
“Asked her out.”
Silence. I thought maybe she’d hung up.
“Oh. What did she say?”
“She didn’t say yes, and that’s all that matters. Good night, Cin.”
Two days later Cindy called me again.
“I’m with Becky. If I give her the phone, will you talk to her?”
“Yes, if she’ll talk and not rant. Make her understand, it’s getting easier and easier not to talk to her. So if she wants to say something, do it, without drama or hysterics. Tell her, then hand her the phone.”
I heard a couple of minutes of whispering.
“Jace?”
“Hi, Becky.”
“Jace, I’m really sorry. For everything. I’d like to start over, like new. I want you to see me as a new person, not someone that you used to know. Allen wants to grill Sunday, will you come over?”
“To visit or grill?”
She gave a little laugh. Allan would burn concrete if you put it on the grill.
“Both. I’d like to actually eat.”
“Make your potato salad and it’s a date.”
“I will. Thank you, Jace.”
…
It took five months to get a sense of intimacy back. I dated others, which pissed her off no end. I told her up front if I couldn’t go out with her and why. She bit her lips raw holding back.
When we decided to get intimate, we had the big talk.
“If we’re intimate, it’s just us. No one else. Do you understand? Even if you just go out with old friends, if I find out about it from someone besides you, we’re over. There won’t be any rising from the ashes this time. And I don’t intend to be your jailer. I won’t be checking up on you, you’re on your own. Screw up, and it’s all you.”
She agreed too quickly for my taste.
“I want you to really think about this Beck. I’m talking long term commitment here. Don’t give me your answer yet. I need to get tested before we do anything. I don’t want to bring anything extra with me.”
For the first time she understood I’d had sex with others. I could see the tears, but she fought them back.
“All right honey. I haven’t been with anyone since you, but I’ll do it too. And I already know the answer.”
A week later we exchanged clean bills of health and apartment keys.
Sex with Beck was always exciting, but the welcome back sex nearly killed me. My balls ached, my dick was sore, and I actually fell asleep at work, twice. Allen said something to Cindy, and she told Becky to let me rest occasionally, so she could keep her house.
She agreed, reluctantly.
I still worked long hours, but not like before. The experience had taught me to prioritize.
We had been living together for eight months when I called her at her job. “Can you get off this afternoon? I wouldn’t ask, but it’s really important.”
She agreed instantly, so I picked her up, handing her a drive through bag. “Sorry babe. This will have to hold you until dinner.”
I refused to tell her what it was about. We drove to a nice neighborhood and pulled into a drive. There was a for sale sign out front and a realtor waiting.
“Is this your wife?” she asked politely.
“Maybe,” I said, “I’ll know by the end of the day.”
Becky looked at me like I was crazy.
“Well, let’s have a look, shall we dear? Really, men have no clue what’s really important in a house, don’t you agree? Oh, they understand structure, brick and wood, but they don’t have a feel for comfort or possibilities.”