I walked my retirement papers through corporate, but had to tell the HR director. This was a little sticky, it just happened to be Pams’ best friend. I needed her help anyway with my own plans. She was a professional and wouldn’t have talked, but swearing her to the other brought a smile to her face.
Things were moving along. I brought the night operations manager to first shift and promoted his assistant. I put the word out it was to let me concentrate on a special project. That part was true.
The project was planning Pams’ retirement surprise. Her grandmother was from Italy, and lived with her parents. She babysat her and her sister while the parents were at work. She learned to speak Italian and English at the same time. All her life she had wanted to go to Rome and look for her relatives, and I always said we would when we retired. Well, we were almost retired.
I had a secret weapon, her grandmothers’ bible.
Pam had kept it all these years, and would look at the names inscribed occasionally, wondering if they were still alive. In the old days, especially when babies were born at home, the only birth record would be the name and date written in the bible. They did the same thing for deaths, the name and date. In some states even today these records are considered legal. Many would record marriages as well.
I finally located a sixth or seventh cousin and emailed him pictures of her, her grandmother, and one of her grandmother and grandfather. He was in his army uniform, hugging a young woman who looked like a darker version of Pam. Guido was happy to locate more relatives, twenty seven just in Rome, With more than he could name in the countryside.
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Finally, it was layoff day. The employees had been informed, partly to get volunteers for early retirement, partly to prepare them for the worst.
We rode to work together in my truck, I had put her car into the shop for service. We were to pick it up after work. She was pensive.
We had decided that it would be best if she retire. She was worried about feeling bored and useless. I tried to ease her fears.
“Look, honey, if you get bored you can look for another job. Right now, I can think of one project to keep you busy. Susan will be needing company in the birthing room.”
She was due in 24 days. Pam had already made plans to be there the week before and the week after. I was going to take vacation and be there by the due date.
We pulled into the parking lot for the last time.
Her eyes were brimming, this place had been part of our lives for thirty years.
“Cheer up, honey. You’ll see them all from time to time.”
That wasn’t so and she knew it. Being laid off had a finality about it. You all say you’ll stay in touch, but you never quite seem to have time to visit or even call. Mostly you just drift away quietly, getting consumed by the now of your life.
Once in a while something will trigger a memory and you’ll say “wonder how he/she is doing. I need to give them a call when I get time.”
Then you go back to the task at hand and the thought slips away.
I gave her a kiss and she went into the offices and I went into the plant.
I knew she was emotionally overloaded and I shouldn’t have done it, but right before first break I went out to the truck and got two cups of coffee and a cheese danish. She was sitting at her desk staring into space when I came in.
“Hi sweetheart. I brought you coffee and a cheese danish. Would you like to spend break with me?”
Her head snapped up. She looked at the coffee and the little packaged danish. You don’t love someone for thirty years and not learn a little about them. When her chin started quivering I put the coffee down and reached for her.
She leaped into my arms and cried, hard. I sat and put her on my lap, rocking her. And if anyone was concerned that the plant manager was holding the accounts receivable on his lap and kissing her hair they never mentioned it.
Of course by then the dam had burst. Pam had triggered a tsunami of tears, as the predominately female office broke down. Groups would hug, to disperse and realign. It was safe to say no work got done that day.
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They had just settled down when the flowers started to arrive. I had bouquets sent to everyone in the office, including the few men. Part to say we appreciate you to the ones who got to stay, partly to apologize to the ones let go.
I took it out of petty cash, what were they gonna do fire me?
Pams’ was bigger than most, and came with some packages. I made sure that a few of her friends were around, just in case. I had the packages numbered, with OPEN IN ORDER in big letters.
She opened the box and saw a jewelery box inside.
The note said “read me first”
“My dear wife, some friends of mine recently rated you an 8. 5 on a scale of 10. These guys were getting old and I don’t think their eyesight is the best. This is my ranking. Please open the box and see if you can figure it out.”
Inside the box was a locket and chain made of platinum. The locket had ten small diamonds outlining the heart shape, and one half carat stone set in the middle.
Pam opened the locket slowly. Inscribed was “forever eleven”.
Just when she thought she had no more tears they came again. The girls had to put it on for her because her hands shook so much.
“Open the next one.” they begged.
It was a large, flat envelop marked fragile. Her hands shook so bad someone else did it for her.
The first sheet of paper was my retirement summary with a note attached.
“Honey, you won’t have to worry about sitting around the house getting bored or lonely, because I’ll be right there with you, at least until I get underfoot. Hopefully this won’t happen for another thirty years or so.”
She was becoming numb.
The next sheet out was a map of Rome, with a note, of course.
“This is for you to mark all the places you want to see. The tickets and hotel reservations are in the pouch. We leave ten days after the expected arrival of our granddaughter, and will be gone for a month. It’s your dream vacation, my love.”
She had to sit, feeling a bit light headed.
The third and final envelop was marked DO NOT OPEN UNTIL NOON. OPEN IN THE PARKING LOT.
It was only 11, but they almost dragged her out the door. Once outside she opened the last envelop. A set of cars keys fell out. This note was short and to the point.
“It’s not the one we talked about, it’s the one I want you to have. Press the alarm.
She pressed the button and it chirped. She followed the sound until she came to a metallic gray challenger. They had stopped to look at a Chrysler 300, but she fell in love with the challenger. Pam refused to consider it, saying she was too old. The tags said “Pams'”
She turned around in the lot a couple of times. She went back to the car and sat behind the wheel.
With a determined look she got out locked the care carefully and strode towards the plant. Everyone followed her, all pretense of working abandoned.
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I saw her coming, and it looked like she brought the office with her. She charged right up to me.
“Damn you Will! There’s a special place in hell for people like you.”
Shocked would be an understatement.
She smiled slowly, and reached up to brush my cheek.
“It’s for people who love someone else to death. But don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll be right there with you.”
In all the kisses she ever gave me, this one came in at number two, right behind the very first one.
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She was too emotionally exhausted to drive, so I got to drive her new car home. I knew no one was cooking this night, so I had Chinese delivered.
She would finger her locket, look at the map and the tickets, and walk to the window to look at her car. I finally asked her what she was doing.
“Waiting to wake up.”
I scooped her up.
“In order to do that you have to go to sleep.
It’s been a long day.”
I carried her to bed and undressed her. Did we make love? No, she was asleep before I had her shoes off.
But the next morning I woke finding her at the bedroom window.
“What’s wrong babe?”
“Nothing, just looking at my new car. Let’s go for a spin.”
I started to get up but she jumped astride me.
“First I need to find out something. Is retired sex is as good as I think it’s going to be?”
It was.
Afterward we took a shower together, the first in a long time. I bathed her gently, stopping to kiss often. I touched the tiny scars from her biopsies and shed a small tear, hidden by the shower. I kissed her faint strech marks, badges of honor from our two children. I would have kissed more but we suddenly had an urge to go back to the bedroom. Flexability fades when you reach your late fifties.
Pamela Louise was born a day early, announcing loudly she had arrived. We oohed and ahhed. Deuce was the least impressed.
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We arrived in Rome early in the morning. I warned Pam that one or two of her relatives may come by.
There were 41 people including small children waiting, holding up a sign with our name on it.
I recognized Guido and got his attention. He was grabbing others and pointing us out. We were mobbed, everyone talking at the same time.
Guido became referee and guide. We were booked for 28 days in a nice hotel, and we only slept there six. We were always over at cousin Endo or aunt Marias house or any one of half dozen I couldn’t remember the names of. It took Pam about three weeks before her language skills improved. I never got it but had a ball. sixty seven crying relatives were there to see us off. It was the vacation of a lifetime.
Now we spend most summers in Italy. It is surprisingly affordable, especially if you seem to be related to half the population. Pam can speak like a native, I’ve gotten to the point where I can understand most of it and speak the basics.
The most surprising thing in all our travels was when Pam discovered topless beaches. I was amazed when she took one look, said “nobody knows us here” and dropped her top. Even at 54 she has a nice trim body. Her breasts weren’t large to start with and had very little sag. She still gets looks and even got approached once. Whatever she said sent them flying. Now when we go to the beaches she doesn’t even pack tops.