49

I shook of my trip down memory lane and went out to the patio, where I sat and watched my wife fuss with her plant.
She looked at me and said “What are you looking at?”
“My beautiful wife, who I love beyond words.”
“Good answer.” She wiped her hands and sat beside me.
“How did your meeting with Sam go?”
She thought I had met with Sam to review our investments.
” Well, we’re not broke yet. How was your morning?”
She sighed.
“Jimmie called.”
Jimmie was our son. When the economy tanked his company gave him an option. Move two states away or take a layoff. He checked around, but there was just nothing out there. We had talked Friday, so if he was calling today something must be wrong.
“Everything all right?”
She sighed again.
“We’re going to be grandparents again. They’re pretty sure it’s a girl.”
This was good news. They already had a little boy, three. He was our only grandchild. When they moved Pam took it hard. She had bonded with Susan, our daughter in law, so well that when she had Jimmie jr. she was the only one allowed in the delivery room.
Deuce[Jimmie Jr.] adored his grandmother and followed her around constantly. Not being able to see him on a regular basis was hard on both of us.
……………………..
If you looked under impulsive in the dictionary you wouldn’t see my picture. Maybe under dependable or consistent, but not impulsive. Sometimes though, I surprise even myself. I took her hand and started pulling her towards the house.
“Come on. I’m going to check the fluids and belts on your car and go fill it with gas. That should give you time to shower and pack us an overnight bag.”
Confusion reigned supreme.
“Why would I pack an overnight bag?”
“Duh, to go somewhere overnight. If we leave in thirty minutes, we can get checked into a nice hotel, have a late dinner at a good restaurant, and still be at Jimmie and Susans’ by 9:00.
Unless I get lucky, after all I will be sleeping with a sexy woman.”
Her eyes were misting over.
“You got lucky the day you met me. I don’t see the streak ending tonight. I wonder if there’s room in the bag for my new teddy?”
“If there isn’t, leave something else out. Be back in thirty minutes.”
She was waiting on the porch when I got back. In the car she was so happy she chattered like a teenager for two hours. Whipping out her new phone[the girl loved technology], she had us checked in and reservations made before we were out of state. She even ordered a bottle of wine for our room.
Her new teddy was breath taking, and I did get lucky. Very, very lucky. Three times, something that hadn’t happened in years.
I was still tired when we surprised the kids. We took them to breakfast, and spent a great day visiting. I don’t think Deuce left Pams’ lap the whole time. He cried when we had to leave, only the promise that we would be back soon and take him home with us for a week calmed him.
We looked at the sonograms. Pam and Susan both cried when Susan said the girl was to be named Pamela Louise, after both grandmothers.
On the way home we talked about the multitude of things in our lives, trivial and important.
Her car was six years old, should we get another? We’re low on beer, should we stop tonight or wait and go in the morning? Did you turn on the porch light? I don’t remember if we put the sprinklers on automatic, ah well, we’ll know when we get there. Where should we go on vacation? Should we invite the kids?
All discussed with the gravity of someone whose lives were so in synch that discussion wasn’t really necessary.
……………………..
Life rolled effortlessly along for a few months. We had new insurance carriers who insisted everyone covered get a physical. Prevention and all that. Pam went for hers before I did. During the mammogram they found two lumps in her right breast and one in her left. Specialists were called in. Biopsies were done. It would take a week to get the results.
Her mother had breast cancer and survived. Her sister didn’t.
It was my worst fear realized. Pam was afraid she would lose her breasts and I wouldn’t love her. I was afraid I would lose Pam.
As petty as it seemed, my deepest darkest fear was being brought to life. Everyone always thought I was tight with money. That wasn’t so, I was afraid of losing the money. I didn’t want it for myself, but the comfort it would bring us in our later years. I wanted us to travel to the places Pam wanted to go, to help our children with things. I wanted to gift our grandchildren with help for college. There was so much we wanted to do.
The root of this fear was watching how my parents ended up. They both saved, and lived frugal lives. When they retired they celebrated with a month long cruise. They came home tanned and relaxed. Then dad got sick, prostrate cancer. Despite Medicare and supplimental insurance the bills mounted. They were proud people who believed in paying their bills. Slowly the savings dwindled. My siblings and I pitched in. For two years Pam and I paid the power and phone bills. My brother and sister made the payments on the car they bought just for retirement.
My friend Sam rescued them and their dignity by setting up a reverse mortgage on the house. When my dad passed there was enough left for my mom to pay off everything and move into a small retirement community. We all tried to get her to stay with one of us but she said she wanted her independence. She seemed happy enough, to the very last she could drive and would visit often, but she only lasted two years after dad died.
Susan came and stayed with us for a few weeks. She was six months along, and had Deuce with her to help cheer Pam up. It was a very long week.
One of the happiest words in the English language? Benign.
…………………….
The health scare had really gotten me thinking. The six year age difference was in my mind, looming larger as we aged. If Pam waited until sixty two to retire I would be sixty eight. Would I be able to do the things we dreamed of? Would she be forced to put her dreams on hold to take care of me? Would we have a good life?
With thirty six years of service to my company, I could have retired at full benefits at fifty five.
Pam had eight more months to be fully vested and could retire but not draw until she hit fifty five. I made an appointment with Sam to review my options.
He gave me his advice.
“Retire now, Will. You’ll still be drawing the same pay if you work or not. Your investments with me, Your 401 plans, your savings, and your certificates of deposit make you very, very comfortable. Plus, in four more years social security kicks in. Retire now, and take Pam with you when she vests. Live, Will. Don’t end up like Sarah and I.”
I agreed, and started making arrangements.
The recession had hit everyone, including our company. Word came down from corporate to trim the workforce by twenty percent. Between manufacturing and office staff, 110 jobs had to be trimmed. I had become plant manager four years ago, so the burden fell to me.
I had a confidential meeting and told them I was thinking of retiring. They were surprised and protested, but at least part of them wanted me to go and make room for the new turks. They told me, also in confidence, that if any one with over twenty five years with the company would get a buy out of six months pay to retire, including me.
Any one with less than one year to vestiture would get the same deal. I did some rough calculations in my head. Pam had eight more months to vestiture, If she took the deal she would be eligible in two months . Plus, she had six weeks of vacation accumulated, If she took it all at once she would have work just two weeks. I knew it would take longer than that to make all the cuts so she was safe. The only drawback was it would be three years before she could draw anything from the program. I’m sure we could live with that.
Corporate agreed with me to promote the night operations manager to plant manager. He was only 38, full of energy and plans, and could lead us into the future. I had an assistant plant manager on day shift, But he was 59 and had less than six months to become vested. He was a good man, but being passed over would motivate him to take his golden parachute.
I had the same meeting with the department heads and asked them to make a list of people who could take the deal and vest, those who had less than ten years of service, and those who were poor workers or had attendance problems.
AS with all companies that size, confidentiality is an urban myth. Rumors started immediately. Pam was worried and knew that I knew what was going on but couldn’t tell her. Th allay her fears I gave her a bit of indirect advice.
“All I can tell you honey, is that if they offer you the golden parachute, jump.”
Message sent.