Goodbye

MALIA’S POV
She sighed deeply. “Please promise me you won’t get mad because of what I’m about to say,” she said.
I nodded. “I promise I won’t get mad. So please spill,” I replied.
She took in a deep breath before speaking in a whisper. “I think it was the Alpha who killed Ronan.”
I rolled my eyes. “Ryder might be manipulative and controlling but I don’t think he’s capable of murder. Besides, he loved his brother so much. If he didn’t, he would have executed him for treason instead of just imprisoning him,” I replied.
“Come on, Malia. Aren’t you the least bit suspicious that it was just after the Alpha told you that cock and bull story about the connection he had with Zade that Ronan died? You yourself told me how you thought the story didn’t add up and decided to go ask Ronan about it. I bet the Alpha must have sensed that you didn’t believe him and must have reasoned that the person you’d go to for questions was Ronan, so he had him killed,” she reasoned.
I was deep in thought for a while. It wasn’t as though I hadn’t considered the fact that my husband might be responsible for his brother’s death, but I just couldn’t ignore how much Ryder had loved Ronan. They might not have gotten along but he still looked out for him. There was no way Ryder could have killed him. I just couldn’t see it.
“What if he did kill him because he didn’t want you to find out a terrible truth?” my wolf asked. “What if he has something to hide?”
I shook my head. “I think all this is just a coincidence, Penelope. Nothing more.”
She sighed and took my hand. “I have a bad feeling about this coincidence. Just try to be careful, okay?”
I nodded and wished that I didn’t have to defend my husband like this.
Penelope had her triplets a few months later. Right on the same day, Margaret returned to the pack. To Lucien. At last, Damien and his brothers were able to fully forgive their father.
I felt my eyes well up with tears as they all stood around the babies’ cots, cooing at them.
Damien’s brothers had been to his chambers before. But this was the first time for Lucien and Margeret who had little Damien perfectly balanced on one hip as she looked down with so much love in her eyes on the other babies.
Penelope had named the only female among the triplets after her mother-in-law, Margaret. One of the boys was named after their grandpa, Lucien. While the other one was named after Penelope’s late father, Anthony.
I thought how confusing it was going to be in the future in a situation where they were all gathered in one place and needed to be addressed by their names.
“Please just don’t get pregnant soon again okay?” I said to my best friend.
She laughed and then promptly winced. “Please, in anything you do, try not to make me laugh. These stitches are still fresh,” she begged.
“I will try. But that’s only if you promise not to get pregnant next year.”
She rolled her eyes. “Girl, this is it for me. There’s no way I’m raising more than four kids. I planned on having just two but it turned out that the Moon Goddess had other plans for me. Besides, what’s your deal with me not getting pregnant next year?” she queried.
I sighed. “Ryder is starting to get impatient about us having kids. I’ve stopped taking the pills for months now but I don’t know why I’ve still not been able to conceive,” I replied.
In truth, I wasn’t worried about the fact that I had not conceived because I was ready to have kids. It was just because I knew how badly my husband wanted a child. The other day, he had told me how bad he had felt when the elders had subtly alluded to his childless situation.
“Have either of you gone to see the pack doctor so that he can run some tests on the both of you?” she asked.
I shook my head and she gave me a look. “Girl, must I tell you everything?” she smirked.
Damien’s brothers came to join us just then. They were a very friendly duo. I particularly enjoyed the way they mercilessly teased Penelope.
“Stop bothering my wife,” Damien’s voice boomed. Not in anger though. Then he told them to also get married quickly if they were in want of a wife to tease.
We all burst out laughing and I laughed even harder when Penelope winced in pain again. I vaguely wondered why it took much longer for female werewolves to heal after childbirth. Or maybe it was just because she was an omega.
Later that evening, I told Ryder about us going to the hospital to run some tests.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. But if it’s going to please you, then sure, I’ll do it,” he said.
I noticed with slight irritation that he had indirectly suggested that something was wrong with me and that I was the reason we didn’t have a child yet.
I chose not to say anything about it. It wasn’t worth an argument.
The test results came out and we learned that there was nothing wrong with either of us.
However, the pack doctor told us that our stress levels may be the cause of our inability to conceive. He advised us to cut out things that may be increasing our stress levels and he also gave me some pills that were supposed to boost my fertility.
Ryder asked or rather, ordered that I no longer go for battles. I could not protest. If I did, I’d be the bad guy. The one who wasn’t playing their own part in order to get a child.
For the whole of the next month, I did virtually nothing apart from eating, sleeping, reading and go visit Penelope.
Ryder didn’t even approve of me just roaming the palace to get some exercise in.
I had to sneak out most times to go for a run. Thankfully, my bodyguard was understanding.
“He’s just being ridiculous,” I complained to Penelope while we were on a stroll one evening.
She burst out laughing and I scowled at her.
“It’s not funny. If I do not stop this madness, I’m going to become ten times fatter than I am now.”
She scoffed. “No matter what you do, you’re still going to be slim. I envy your genes,” she replied even though she didn’t need to be envious. Her body was still in great shape even after four kids.
“You must understand that he’s just under so much pressure as the Alpha to have an heir,” she continued. “But I believe that now that you’re getting enough rest and taking those pills that the doctor gave you, you will be pregnant real soon.”
“I hope so,” I murmured.
I was in the library the next day, buried in a book, when my best friend came rushing in.
The combination of excitement and anxiety on her face looked so comical that I nearly burst out laughing.
She plopped down on the seat beside me, slightly out of breath.
“Spill,” I ordered without preamble.
She sighed deeply. “Guess who’s here,” she said.
I rolled my eyes. “Just tell me, Penelope. You know how much I hate guessing.”
She released a breath. “Alright,” she said and then gave a long pause which was nearly theatrical.
“The Alpha of the Silver Crescent Pack is here.”
My heart skipped a beat and I forgot how to breathe for a moment.
“Zade Hunter?” I murmured.
She rolled her eyes. “No, Ronan Hawkins. Of course, it’s Zade. Do not make me use the dead’s name to give you a sarcastic reply again.”
I furrowed my brows in confusion. “But why is he here? Has he somehow discovered that I’m here?” I wondered aloud.
“I do not think he’s here because of a woman. But I’ve asked one of my servants to help me figure out why he’s here. All I know for now is that both your mate and your husband are in his study,” she replied.
I could no longer sit still. I got up and started pacing the library.
“Malia, remember you are not supposed to be stressed. So stop worrying and come sit down. Besides, you are making me dizzy with all that pacing.”
“You can just stop looking at me so you won’t get dizzy,” I returned.
It was just ironic that she didn’t want me to be stressed when she herself had brought me the news that had filled me with worry.
She sighed and walked towards the bookshelf to grab a book.
“I might as well read now that I’m here,” she said as she sat back down.
I frowned. “Aren’t you supposed to be with your kids?” I queried.
She smirked. “Luckily for me, their grandparents also live in this palace. And they are always more than willing to look after them for a few hours,” she replied.
“Good for you,” I murmured and continued pacing.
She must have read up to half of the book when the library door swung open and a servant walked in.
Penelope immediately slammed the book close and got to her feet.
“What did you find out?” she queried.
“The Silver Crescent Pack is under attack and the Alpha has come to ask for our Alpha’s help against them,” she answered.
Then as an afterthought, she curtseyed deeply to us.
“But the soldiers of the Silver Crescent Pack are more than capable. So how come they need our help?” I wondered.
“I would have said you should ask him but I know Ryder’s not going to even allow you to see him talk more of speaking to him. And I’m not sure you want to either,” Penelope replied.
I sighed. I wasn’t really sure about not wanting to see him. My wolf was already threatening to take over if we didn’t go to our mate soon.
I had to remind her of the trouble we were going to be in with Ryder if we went to our mate.
Even if I was not trying to conceive and had to rest, my husband wasn’t going to allow me to join the other soldiers and fight off the invaders attacking Zade’s pack.
Penelope dismissed the servant and came to meet me where I was standing.
“How do you feel about all this?” she asked softly.
I shook my head and sighed in frustration. I was nearly close to tears. “I’m not sure, Penelope. Now that he’s here I can’t imagine not going to him. My wolf needs him. But yet, I dare not do that. I have to survive this torture until he leaves and let’s hope he leaves soon because if he doesn’t, I might go crazy trying to stay away from him.”
She placed both hands on my shoulder. “Malia, please breathe,” she said.
I was indeed breathless. I closed my eyes and focused on taking deep breaths.
She smiled when I became calmer and opened my eyes. “Now, here is what we are going to do. We are going to go wild and free. How do you feel about going for a long run?” she asked.
“It sounds like freedom but Ryder is going to have a fit if he finds out,” I replied.
“Don’t worry. He’s not going to find out except if you’re going to tell him.”
I gave her a look. “Don’t be silly and let’s get the hell out of here before I explode.”
She grinned and took my hand and we were soon downstairs and on our way to the forest.
We raced in our wolf forms through the forests in four other Packs. I knew it was quite dangerous but I didn’t care. Besides, I was now more than strong enough to defend both myself and Penelope just in case there was an attack. I was very fast too and could easily run away. Though I wasn’t quite sure about Penelope’s speed.
By the time we returned to our forest, the sun had already set.
Penelope suggested that we swim for a little while just to cool off. I didn’t need any further encouragement. I wasn’t ready to return to the palace anyway.
“Aren’t you the mother of the year?” I said sarcastically to Penelope and she giggled.
“Trust me, my kids do not miss me. Sometimes, I think they love their grandparents more than me,” she replied.
I snorted. “If that makes you feel better, you can keep on thinking that way.”
We hurriedly got out of the water and put our clothes back on when we saw that it was about to rain.
“Last to get to the palace is a crackhead,” Penelope suddenly yelled and took off.
I rolled my eyes. “Need I remind you that you’re now a mother of four?” I queried but sprinted after anyway.
We got to the entrance of the palace and I stopped in my tracks when I saw a very familiar face pacing the courtyard.
He stopped pacing too and stared at me in shock.
We both stood still just staring at each other for a while. He recovered from the shock first. “Mate,” he breathed out and I felt my wolf leap in excitement. The traitor.
I knew I was supposed to go into the palace. I was supposed to ignore him and just walk away but I couldn’t.
I watched helplessly as he slowly approached me. I braced myself for his touch and was surprised when he went down on his knees instead.
“Malia, I wronged you and I am deeply sorry. I know that my apology will never be good enough. It will never be able to suffice for the pain I caused you. It’s alright if you hate me. I hate me too and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for hurting you. Please, Malia.”
I wasn’t even sure what he was begging me for. My forgiveness?
It wasn’t until I tasted the salt of my tears that I realized I was crying. “Please stand,” I said in a shaky voice.
He slowly got up and the mistake I made was looking into his eyes. Without even realizing it, I had moved closer to him.
It was Penelope’s voice and then the sudden downpour, that brought back my sanity.
“We need to get inside,” she said.
“I have to leave now,” I said to him and hurried towards Penelope.
We had barely begun to ascend the stairs when he called out my name.
I couldn’t ignore him. “What do you want?” I asked.
“Could we at least talk? Even if it’s just for a minute,” he replied.
I turned to look at Penelope and she slowly shook her head.
“Please, Malia,” he begged.
My wolf cried for me to hear him out and I sighed in frustration.
“I’ll be downstairs for a while, Penelope. Please kiss the kids goodnight for me.”
She rolled her eyes at me before making her way up the stairs.
I didn’t want Rydef to come downstairs and see us talking, so I led him to one of the empty storage rooms.
“Please make this quick,” I said to him, trying to act unbothered.
I knew it was not wise for us to be alone in the same room but I had no other option. I made sure that there was enough space between us though.
“I’m not trying to pass the blame to anyone else,” he began. “The fault’s totally mine. I’m to blame for everything that happened. But there’s something you need to know.”
He paused and I tapped my foot impatiently.
“What do I need to know? If it’s about you and Ryder being step-brothers, trust me I already know that.”
He sighed and shook his head. “No, it’s not that. What I was going to say was Lily was never your best friend.”
My eyebrows furrowed together in puzzlement. “I don’t understand.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “I overheard Victoria and her speaking. Malia, they are sisters. It was their plan to make you leave so that Victoria could take your place. I’m really sorry that I was tricked by her.”
I was struck speechless.
“You can ask my beta if you think I’m lying,” he added.
I knew he wasn’t lying. My wolf could tell if he was telling the truth or not.
“But why?” I wondered aloud. Lily’s deceit hurt me. So all those times she was just pretending to love me. I kept no secrets from her. She could easily have used them against me.
He tried to touch me and I flinched. “Please do not. I am married to Ryder. I’m the Luna of this pack and I’m happy here.”
I saw the pain in his eyes just as I felt it and my heart broke. The mate bond was already strengthening.
“I guess I have no right to complain,” he murmured. “But are you sure you’re happy here?”
I opened my mouth to tell him that I was but the words wouldn’t come out.
He sighed. “This is all my fault. I am such an idiot,” he said.
His fist connected hard with the wall and I flinched. I had rushed to his side and was checking out his bruised knuckles before I realized it.
I inhaled sharply as I felt the tingles spread all over my body and I quickly let go of his hand, breathing hard.
My wolf moaned in protest.
It took all the willpower I possessed but I slowly turned and walked towards the door. My hand was already on the handle when he spoke.
“Could you please just stay for a while?”
I sighed and without daring to look at him, I spoke.
“I can’t, Zade. Like I said earlier, I’m married now. I’d prefer it if you just leave as soon as possible and never come back. I never want to see you. Again.”
My heart hurt and my wolf howled in pain as I said those words but I had to say them.
“Goodbye, Zade,” I said and opened the door to come face-to-face with an angry-looking Ryder.