My panic gradually started to return and I tugged at his shirt trying to sit up, my breathing was harsh and I looked down at the grass which seemed to be a long way down. This made my heart race and I squirmed more, not liking how limited my movements were in this positioning and my lip quivered, instant tears filling my eyes.
I didn’t like feeling so vulnerable, it terrified me. I never even felt this vulnerable with Jade. I want down. I can’t breathe.
What’s happening ? Are you okay ? He held me tighter to his body and I shook my head frantically, pushing at his chest. He realized immediately and stopped walking, gently placing me on my feet and I squeezed my hand to distract myself.
Did I hurt you ? He asked, his voice was strained as if the question pained him to ask and guilt nipped at me. I merely shook my head and stared at the ground.
He was quiet for a moment, you don’t like it when I carry you like that, do you ? He questioned. I nodded in shame, expecting him to insult me for panicking but his next words shocked me.
Then I won’t do it anymore, he stated, and I felt a familiar warmth engulf my chest. I smiled uncontrollably at the way it fluttered around my heart.
Who knew such pleasure existed ? I never imagined another person could make me feel so good. These foreign feelings are addicting and only he gives me them. I wonder what I did to not deserve them. Was it the tantrums as a toddler ? Was it because I stayed up later than my bedtime ?
Or because I’m just not good enough.
Are you feeling alright enough to walk ? I’ll wait as long as needed until you’re okay, so don’t feel rushed, he said. I nodded again, hesitantly reaching out and grabbing his hand. I flinched when he wrapped his fingers over mine, my hand instinctively clenching around his and I took a deep breath.
I’m okay.
Taking a step, I tugged his arm and turned around with a frown, noticing he wasn’t moving too. I scanned his legs, my eyes jumping to his without second thought and I upturned my eyebrows. What’s that look ? Why’s he staring at me like that ?
You’re too adorable, he randomly smiled, making heat fill my cheeks and the warmth in my chest intensified. Another wave of tingles sparked in my hand from his touch and I quickly looked away, a small smile taking over my lips once more.
I guess I’m not as horrible as I believed.
He then started walking and I followed, inching closer to his side whenever I saw another person until we made it inside another house. It was the same house I’ve been sleeping in. He continued to lead me through the halls, turning into a familiar bedroom and guiding me to the mattress.
I sat down and was surrounded by a scent that reminded me of him. It wrapped me in an unexplainable blanket of comfort and I yawned, moving under the covers and curling up feeling extremely exhausted.
Hey, Angel, you can take a nap but I need my hand back, okay ? He said gently, his voice just above a whisper as a tiny chuckle left his mouth and I hastily opened my eyes to see his smile. I felt more euphoric at the sight of it, pulling his hand to my chest and cuddling into his arm.
I like his face, and his voice. I don’t want him to go. If he does, I won’t feel warm anymore.
Just when I thought you couldn’t get any cuter. The things you do to me by just existing… he mumbled, releasing a small sigh and adjusting his positioning to allow me better access to his arm, I’ll do anything and everything for you.
I hugged his arm tighter to my chest, smiling slightly before feeling myself drift off into a pleasant unconsciousness.
?
I jolted awake, noticing the sun was no longer in the sky and the moon’s dim light hardly came through the window. There was rain smacking against the house and a violent wind, this made my skin crawl in unease and I sat up, curling into a ball with raising fear.
A loud boom of thunder echoed the sky and I instantly trembled, abrupt tears rushing down my face as I looked around the room in panic.
Where’s Axel ?
I continued to quake, shakily gasping for air through my quickly swelling airways. Anxiety continued to tighten my throat and weigh my body down, making me become panicked and more afraid. I clenched my eyes closed and buried my face in my knees, yanking at my hair with silent cries.
Thunderstorms scare me, and it’s mainly because whenever one would occur Jade would force me to stay outside until it was over. I remember seeing lightning strike into the pond, kill animals, and strike down trees, so ever since then storms horrify me. They cause so much destruction that they remind me of her, and she’s one memory I wish to never recall.
Another blast of thunder rumbled the sky and I flinched, tightening my grip on myself with worsening tears. I jumped out of my skin when the door opened, fear flickering in my gut until I recognized the person as Axel, quickly throwing myself off the bed and running into his arms with desperate grabs at his shirt. He didn’t flinch from my force, instead draping his arms around me and petting my hair.
I’m here, he said, pulling me closer to his chest and I was surprised by just how much those two words made me feel safe, you’re okay, beautiful. Nothing will ever happened to you again, he added, another crack of thunder made me squeeze his shirt and bury my face into his warm, nicely-scented chest.
He tightened his hold around my body with his insanely muscular arms that could hurt me without strain as well as protect me from anything. The power he has is still so frightening, but the strength I’m afraid he’ll use on me is the same strength he uses to protect me. I never knew it’d be possible to feel protected by the same thing I feel threatened by.
You can go back to sleep, okay ? He stated, slowly starting a goofy side walk toward the bed with me clung onto his shirt. My lip quivered as he managed to put distance between us, taking a seat on the mattress and pulling my elbow to get me to stand in front of him.
I lowered my head even more to avoid his eyes, fidgeting with my reattached finger nervously as my confusion grew. The unease worsened when his gentle grip slid down my arm and came to a stop over my fidgeting hands, slowly prying them apart and making my heart race. He lifted his other arm and sluggishly held each hand, ignoring my claws and shakes by giving me a small, painless squeeze.
Why’d he put himself below me ? Jade never let me stand above her, claiming I don’t deserve the importance, so why’s he fine with it ?
There’s something I need to ask you, he added, anxiousness laced his words and I met his gaze in shock, feeling my anxiety raise by sensing his. He’s strong and tall. If he’s afraid, then something very bad is happening.
Is your mother Jade Eleanor Curran ? He cleared his throat and flinched at the same time I did as if he felt just how much that hurt me.
I withheld my panic and nodded, squirming my hands in his grasp until he released them and grabbed my waist, forcing me closer so I was standing between his legs and his face was inches from my stomach. He stared up at me in concern, keeping a firm hold on me and my eyes widened at the strange sensation of power that overtook my body.
Do you trust me ? He asked softly, his eyes drilling into mine and for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to look away when normally, I couldn’t bring myself to look.
I nodded, not a hundred percent certain whether I did or not. I’m not as afraid of him as I am with Jade, but he still makes me feel tense and it’s almost impossible to let him touch me when I can’t see what he’s doing. The way I feel around him isn’t describable and I’m so confused.
He opened his mouth to answer but a bright flash lit the sky followed by a boom of thunder. A horrifying scream then echoed the air and it reminded me of one of my own.
I jumped on him, wrapping my limbs around his body and hiding in his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me and he remained tense, shit, they’re here already, he breathed, effortlessly lifting us off the mattress and carrying me out the door with frantic movement. This made me fall into cries, more cold fear consuming me, Angel, I need you to listen to me, okay ? You’re going to go with Blaine, can you do that for me ? It’s only for a couple minutes.