Winifred Dawson finally welcomed a new life and she would not allow herself to carry Leland Burns’ child. Though children are innocent, the thought of anything related to Leland Burns filled her with hatred. Even if she gave birth to the child, she doubted she could ever love it.
Forcing herself to have the child would be unfair to both her and the baby. She couldn’t pretend nothing had happened and fulfill a mother’s duty selflessly. Moreover, her future was long; Leland Burns was her first man but definitely not the last. She would not let herself become an unwed mother or a single parent.
Winifred Dawson felt no attachment to the sudden presence of a child in her womb. She sat in line outside the ultrasound room, waiting for her turn. When her name appeared on the screen, she walked in and lay down as instructed by the doctor.
The doctor held an instrument and began the ultrasound. “The baby is quite healthy, about thirteen weeks,” the doctor said, moving the instrument. “See? This is its little head, here are its hands, and these are its feet. Very healthy.”
Winifred Dawson looked at the screen, feeling a sudden jolt in her heart. She thought she wouldn’t care at all, that she could ignore it completely. But just one look, and she couldn’t take her eyes off it.
Was this really her child? The human body is truly miraculous; she couldn’t feel any difference inside her body. She had thought pregnancy was just like growing an extra piece of flesh that could be cut off with a knife.
But now she could genuinely feel another life inside her. She raised her hand and gently touched her abdomen. There was her child.
This thought quickly vanished as Winifred Dawson withdrew her hand, her gaze turning cold. “Is it done? Can I get up now?”
Sensing the change in her mood, the doctor handed her some tissues after removing the instrument. “Yes, you can clean up and get up now.”
After wiping off the gel from her belly, Winifred Dawson got dressed and threw the tissues into the trash can. The ultrasound results would be sent directly to her primary doctor.
Winifred Dawson thanked the doctor and left the room. Mrs. Protich noticed Winifred’s worsened expression and assumed that the results were unfavorable. Unsure of what to say, she quietly followed Winifred into the elevator.
In the elevator, Winifred’s mind was still on that image of the child. When they reached the second floor, a group entered, almost bumping into Winifred as one patient’s wheelchair slipped.
Winifred instinctively moved back and protected her belly with her hands. Even she was surprised by this subconscious act-was she trying to protect the child or herself? No one could say for sure.
On reaching the fifth floor for her appointment, Winifred turned to Mrs. Protich and said, “Mrs. Protich, I’m pregnant.”
“What?” Mrs. Protich stopped in shock but quickly caught up as Winifred continued walking. “Really?”
Yesterday had been just a guess on Mrs. Protich’s part; she hadn’t expected it to be true after Winifred had confidently denied it.
Winifred simply nodded without further explanation. She chose to tell Mrs. Protich because she knew hiding it would only lead to more questions later.
“Is it Mr. Burns’?”
Winifred scoffed, “Who else could it be?”
In retrospect, she felt like she must have wronged Leland Burns in a past life to suffer so much because of him now. If she’d known things would turn out this way, she never would have picked him up from beside that trash bin-trash remains trash even when out of the bin.
Of all places to find a man, why did it have to be near a trash bin? Now she was paying for it dearly; he was dead but had left his seed inside her as a constant reminder of their past encounters.
To remove this seed meant cutting away part of herself-a painful thought especially since Winifred was allergic to anesthesia.
“I’m going to abort it,” Winifred said before Mrs. Protich could finish speaking.
Mrs. Protich instinctively wanted to persuade Winifred otherwise but seeing Winifred’s lonely figure walking down the hospital corridor made her reconsider. Who was she to advise against it?
She knew how difficult pregnancy and childbirth were from personal experience and understood how challenging single motherhood could be-especially for someone as young as Winifred.
Mrs. Protich realized that at less than twenty years old, Winifred’s life had barely begun; having a child now would only hinder her progress.
Without any right or position to persuade Winifred otherwise, Mrs. Protich chose silence until they reached the consultation room door where she finally spoke: “Miss Dawson, follow your heart. It’s your body and your decision.”
“I thought you’d try to convince me,” Winifred said softly with an unexpected gentleness in her usually sharp beauty.
Mrs. Protich shook her head: “I have no right to convince you otherwise; I respect your decision as a fellow woman.”
Winifred felt relieved; since discovering her pregnancy, it felt like a rope had been tightening around her heart-a fear that Mrs. Protich might insist on keeping the baby against her wishes.
Fortunately, Mrs. Protich understood her situation.
Having spent nearly three months together, Mrs. Protich had always been kind to Winifred-cooking nutritious meals for her weak body and worrying during bouts of nausea.
In Mrs. Protich’s care, Winifred experienced rare moments of maternal affection which she didn’t want ruined by disagreement over this issue.
“Thank you,” Winifred murmured with genuine gratitude.
Mrs. Protich heard this heartfelt thanks and felt deeply moved; wanting nothing more than to protect this young girl who had endured so much hardship already.
“There’s no need for thanks,” Mrs. Protich replied gently, knowing how difficult motherhood could be especially at such a young age-her own daughter was still in college at twelve years old!
Understanding how painful these experiences must be for Winifred made Mrs. Protich even more determined not to push any further-she respected Winifred’s choice completely.