As I entered the bathroom, I bit my lower lip. My heart was pounding in my chest. My heart feels like it will pop out of my rib cage at any moment.
I followed the directions on the pregnancy test kit. The beating of my chest made me nervous and almost deafening.
My heart was hammering in my chest. Those two minutes were arguably the longest of my life.
I cautiously opened my closed eyes and peered at the pregnancy twat”s outcome.
Two lines indicate that the woman is expecting a child.
When I saw the pregnancy test result, my entire world came to a halt.
“Two lines…” I replied, my gaze fixed on my hand.
I cannot believe it. In my womb, there is life. I am expecting a child!
Atlas and I are expecting a child!
Now I am in a different mood. Fun, excitement, dread, and tension are all present. My delight is bursting in my heart.
Despite the fact that I have not finished school yet and became pregnant immediately away, I have no regrets.
I have always wanted to be a mother.
Who would have guessed I would fall pregnant at the age of 19, just days before our first wedding anniversary?
When I heard Lyka beating on the bathroom door, I snapped back to reality. I am just able to roll my eyes at her.
Is it really necessary for her to make such a big deal about it? She was eager to learn as much as she could about the outcome.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I was instantly met by Lyka”s hug. She hugged me and then snatched the pregnancy test from my hands.
I shivered at the prospect of putting the tip in my pee, and now Lyka has it in her hands. I tried to take it from her, but she dis not return it to me.
When Lyka saw the two lines on the pregnancy test, she was taken aback.
“Oh my god! You are pregnant?” Lyka said, taken aback. As she stared at me, she could not believe what she was seeing.
As I walked into our home, I grinned broadly. I had hoped to return home and visit Atlas as soon as possible. I am happy because I learned that information.
I still cannot believe I am expecting a child. Lyka didn”t object when I asked how I was feeling earlier. She is concerned that something awful may happen to me and my child as a result of my past death. Because nausea and dizziness are common throughout pregnancy, the nurse indicated it was usual for me to experience these.
When Lyka and I told Aiden I was pregnant, he could not believe it. After learning of my pregnancy, Lyka and he grew paranoid. The two of them continued to fight even when I was carrying a bag.
They were squabbling over my belongings. They warned me not to carry large objects. It is odd because my bag is not even close to two kilograms, yet the way they act, it appears to be too hefty.
We also did not tell Aiden about the photo Lyka had shown me earlier. He will undoubtedly become enraged, and I do not want Atlas and me to get into any problems, especially now that we are expecting a child. I will tell him later, but not right now. First and foremost, I must relax.
I entered our kitchen and walked straight to our refrigerator. I have to eat even if I am not hungry. I want my baby to be healthy when he or she is born. For my snack, I made an egg sandwich as well as a fruit shake.
The University nurse encouraged me to go to the doctor just to make sure I was truly pregnant and to find out if my pregnancy was going well.
I was dizzy with delight at the prospect of telling Atlas. My aim is to inform him on our first anniversary, which is just ten days away. Our baby growing inside my tummy will be my gift to him. I am not sure how he will react.
I was relieved to be able to return to my room. Atlas will arrive later, so I will go to bed first.
I also slept for nearly four hours. It was already dark outside when I awoke. I carefully stood up and walked over to the window in our bedroom.
When I noticed Atlas” car was not in the garage yet, my brows furrowed. Even though it was nearly seven o”clock in the evening, he was still not home. At such times, he is generally at home.
I cannot help but be concerned. I took out my phone and dialed his number. I am just curious as to why he has not returned home yet. I am not going to bother until I know he is in good form.
Several times, his cell phone rang. When he finally answered my call, I exhaled a sigh of relief.
“Hello?” I asked, my smile fading as I heard the woman”s voice on the other end of the telephone.
I checked the number I dialed; perhaps I had dialed the wrong number. I double-checked that the number I dialed was Atlas”s. It is his telephone number.
“Hello? Who is this?” inquired the woman on the other end of the call.
I did not say anything immediately away. I am at a loss for words.
“Is this a prank caller? Tsk, do not call again, we are having a nice time here with my baby daddy; if you cannot accomplish anything good in your life, do not bother my partner; we are having a great time here.”
Because of what I heard, I appear to have poured a chilly ice. As I listened to the woman, my hand trembled.
“Cassy, who is that?” a man”s voice said.
My tears, which I had been keeping back, continued to flow freely. My heart has shattered into a million pieces, and I can hear it. When I heard that, my lips trembled and my knees were shaky, so I sat on the floor.
Suddenly, the image Lyka had showed me earlier came back to me. As I sat in the middle of the bed, I was astounded.
I was at a loss for what to think. I was recently overjoyed when I learned that I was pregnant and that Atlas and I were expecting a child. Now I am in pain as a result of what I discovered again.
Cassy is quite certain to be that woman. I will never forget the woman”s voice, even though I have not heard or seen her in a long time.
It is worth questioning her just because she was the one who answered Alessandre”s phone. Worst of all, she said something about the baby”s father. I am confident that she is with Atlas.
Even though accepting the truth that Atlas and Cassy are now together hurt my heart, there is no denying the fact that it is Atlas.
I shook my head to clear my mind of the unimportant notion that had begun to irritate me. That is not possible.
Cassy and he had not seen each other in a long time. Isn”t it impossible that Atlas is the one he calls “baby daddy”? Maybe they were not the only ones there; perhaps there were several, and I only heard Atlas” voice by chance.
My tears dripped from my eyes, and I brushed them away. I took a deep breath and relaxed. I should not be stressed right now, especially because I am expecting a child. The nurse emphasized the need of avoiding stress because it would be harmful to my baby if I was stressed.
I was completely unaware that I had fallen asleep once more. I close my eyes and pretend it was all a nightmare. I wish Lyka”s charge against Atlas had been true. I will own it: I am a coward.
I am terrified of being alone once more. I am at a loss for words to express how afraid I am at the prospect of my spouse abandoning me.
What will happen to me now that his sweetheart has returned? Will he treat me the same way he used to, cold and indifferent? Is this going to be the nth time I have been hurt?
I am terrified, I am terrified.
I was sauntering into the University with a leisurely pace. I have just hailed a cab to get me to the University. I have known about my pregnancy for five days, yet I still cannot seem to be joyful about it. I was both hurt and terrified.
Alessandre has likewise been missing for five days. I have attempted numerous times to contact him but have been unsuccessful. He is not answering his phone, and when I tried to call him earlier, his phone was switched off.
I did no5 know what to think anymore. Is he trying to avoid me? Did Cassy and him reconcile such that he no longer remembers me as his wife?
Lyka yelled at me, “Hey, pregnant woman!”
As she smiled at me, her smile was big. Early in the morning, she shines like a ray of sunshine. I was suddenly envious of her. Never mind that she was smiling that wide while I was there.
“Is it truly the case when you are pregnant? You appear like a body going about without any sense,” she said. Instead of responding to her mocking, I simply continued walking.
“Do you think I am ugly?” I asked Lyka hesitantly. Her attention was fixed on mine. She inhaled deeply before turning to face me.
“You are still beautiful, Anna. Even if you do not take a bath, you are still beautiful,” she said intently. “But you know what is missing? The spark in your eyes. You look like a soulless body.”
I take my gaze away from her.
“You are breathing, Anna, but you are not alive; your eyes are lifeless, and you know what I see when I look into your eyes? Pain, grief, and exhaustion,” she replied solemnly. I observed her try to keep her emotions at bay.
“Let me cry for you, Anna,” she says to me all the time.
“Is it still appropriate to be with him if it is too much, if you are too exhausted already, if you are being smashed into bits already?” she questioned me, her voice mournful.
My eyes are lifeless when I stare at her. I feel as if I have been transported back in time, to a period when all I could see and feel was misery. Slowly, I feel loneliness engulfing me once more. I know where it is headed, but I cannot help myself. The pain, it is slowly defeating me again, leading me back to my deepest abyss.
“Wouldn”t it be better to just let go? Wouldn”t it be better to just let go from the love that only you are holding on to in the first place? You are the only one fighting for you two. Your spouse gave up a long time ago, he let you go a long time ago,” she suggested.
Her tears continued to pour like a river. My pale eyes were fixed on her.
“When he went to her, that is when he let go of those few memories, and that is when he let you go,” she said. Because of what she stated, I shook my head.
No, he cannot do that and will not do anything like that to me. She looks at me as if she is already annoyed with me.
Lyka has always been really protective of me. She did not want to be a burden to me. When I am bullied, she is the one that stands up for me. I am the shattered soul clinging to her, while she is the tough one.
“Didn”t you feel sorry for yourself?” “Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered where the happy Annalise was?” “Haven”t you even considered what your life might have been like if you had quit sooner?” My eyes welled up with tears, but I did not brush them away. My tears streamed down my face.
I cannot seem to feel anything, but my tears keep falling. They appear to have their own minds, flowing from my eyeballs.
“Aren”t you missing the happy Anna? Anna, when will you see that your love for Alessandre has been breaking you all along? There are better things waiting for you, away from Alessandre?”
We are both sobbing now; the only difference is that she is crying out of pain, which is reflected in her eyes, whilst I am crying out of emotion. I take my gaze away from her.
I cannot bear seeing her weep because it reminds me of how ridiculous it is for me to try to please someone who will never be satisfied with me instead of focusing on those who actually love me.
Because my tears are blocking my vision, I blink quickly to clear my vision. I recognized we were near the University library, and there were no students in the hallway, most likely because they were in their separate classrooms at the time.
We were in that condition for quite some time before we were able to relax. On the grass, we sat next to one other. My long hair flutters in the breeze.
We both think in different ways, yet we both think deeply.
“What are your plans now?” she questioned, her voice trembling. She kept her attention fixed on the horizon.
“I do not know. I am not sure, Lyka. The truth is, I am gradually giving up on our relationship. The only reason I am still holding on to him is my unborn child. I want to give him or her a good life, a whole family. I want him to experience having a whole family because I did not have that when I was growing up. My parents were taken away from me early, so I know how difficult it is not to have parents by your side as you grow.”
I went to the doctor the other day, and she said everything was fine with my pregnancy.
She also informed me that I am already six weeks pregnant. She also gave me vitamins to take during my pregnancy.
Overall, she stated that my kid is healthy and that all I need to do is avoid stress and consume nutritious foods on time.
Lyka let out a sigh of relief. I waited for her to respond.
“But would not it be painful for a child to see that his parents” relationship isn”t good?” she asks.
“Do you think that is why a married couple files for divorce even if they already have a child? It is because it is better to be called a divorcee and a single parent than to stay in a relationship that not only hurts you but also your child. Family is not about staying in a marriage amidst a troubled marriage; it is about love and respect, Anna.” She said as she looked at me with a warm smile.
She was correct once more. What is the point of staying in a bad marriage merely to give your child the illusion of a great family when you are all hurting, even your child?
“I do not want to be kept in the dark any longer, Lyka. It is like I am blind crawling in the dark now, and I despise it. I want to know the truth before I make a decision,” I stated emphatically. She drew me into a hug with a nod of her head.
“You two are new here; I have been looking for you,” the voice said. Lyka and I both looked at the speaker. Aiden”s smiling face was visible.
“Hey, A,” I said as I motioned for him to take a seat next us. His eyebrows knit as he finally observed Lyka and myself.
Aiden inquired forcefully, “You guys look like a mess. Are you two sobbing again?”
I took a big breath and exhaled slowly. Aiden is already aware of all that has occurred recently in my life. I did not keep it hidden from them or Lyka. They are like my siblings, and they are the only ones with whom I can unleash my rage.
He is also aware of Atlas and Cassy, including the fact that Atlas has yet to return home. Despite the fact that he knows everything, he let me make my own decisions and did not lead me.
I could tell he was furious with Alessandre, but he refrained from hunting him down.
“Anna,” he began. I gave him a wistful smile.
“I know, A. I am going to put an end to this frenzy,” I told him. He simply sighed deeply.
He remarked, rolling his eyebrows at me, “I brought breakfast for you two since the pregnant woman might not eat breakfast again.”
He stated as he lay out the meal he had brought in front of Lyka and me. “I looked for you in your purported lecture room, but you two were not there, and your professor even reprimanded me for disturbing his class.”
“You two, eat,” he continued, motioning for us to delve into the meal he had provided.
As I stood in front of Atlas”s firm, my chest throbbed loudly. I was apprehensive about entering. It has been ten days since he has not returned home.
I waited for him to get home so I could ask him about his relationship with Cassy, but I did not even notice his shadow.
Our first anniversary is today, and it was intended to be a wonderful day for both of us. We should have been celebrating and having a romantic date at our place at this time.
I could have told him he was about to become a father, that a little princess or prince was already in my stomach, but instead I was standing in front of his company, my knees trembling with nerves. I am not sure what awaits me inside his firm.
“You can do it, Anna,” I reassured her. “This is for your baby.”
I took a big breath and exhaled deeply. I initially double-checked that my pregnancy test, which indicated that I was expecting, was neatly placed inside the tiny box. This is a present for him.
Because I was so scared, I could not even return the guard”s smile.
Employees stared at me as I walked.
I do not know why they were looking at me but I could not help but feel discomfort because of the way they were staring at me.