“KYAAAHHH! HAHAHA!” I could hear my daughter’s voice from outside as I inserted the crystal beads into a small, white tie used in making the bracelet. I watched her in the distance as I sat on the rocks here on the shore where the people who had just got off the ship were landing. Good luck if someone suddenly notices what I’m doing and sometimes they buy.
“MOMMY!” Now she is running to me while fighting with Raymond. The man who accompanied me when I arrived here. She was Shiela’s sister who helped me find a place to stay.
The sun is setting again. It will be night in a few hours. I looked at the sun that was about to hide. Soon the night sky would change, so I looked at my daughter to persuade her home. I smile every time I look at her, that once she almost disappears from me. Fortunately, she held on tight and she became my strength. I never thought I would come to the point of experiencing real joy. When she came out of my stomach, that’s when I realized it’s not bad to be happy. Maybe we just have to wait for when it will come.
It’s been five years since it all happened. I have had no news from the people I left. I dream. I wish they were with me now. There are days when I still can’t sleep because I want my child to experience a happy and whole family. But I can’t afford to do that if they just resurrect me to lie. I got up from my seat and put the bracelets I had finished making in the black bag. I approached Tiarra then approached Raymond.
“Thanks for playing to Tiarra, Raymond. I finished my work because of you.” I held Tiarra’s hand, then smiled at her. Her face quickly turned red. Raymond was a good boy. He’s a bit childish because he’s a late bloomer. He is like a brother to me, so I am happy every time he helps me. You only need to praise him once so that he obeys the commands. But I’m not ordering him. He volunteered once in a while when Shiela didn’t take him to fish.
He had already walked. We were just neighbors, so Tiarra let go of my hold and then followed Raymond. I stretched my bones to eliminate drowsiness. I was wondering what dish Tiarra and I could buy. She complained that we only ate fish. What would she expect if we were by the sea? Now I have been here in this place for a long time. I’m happy, I don’t have to ask for more …
That’s what I thought …
—-
It’s morning again. I have to deliver the crystal bracelets I made to the other barrio so that Tiarra will have more to spend. I only have a little money left because I’ve run out of it. I can’t use the card I’m carrying because I don’t want them to detect where I am. My life is normal and I don’t want one day to be in trouble again – us.
I am with Tiarra now as we go to grandpa Selo. We will sell them to him now because he likes to go to the city to sell them. I just hope he hasn’t left yet in case he comes from the town. Usually, he comes and then leaves. While walking, I saw Tiarra was drowsy. We stopped and I loaded her.
“Mommy, when is daddy coming?” She rubbed her eyes as she asked me. I stopped walking. This is the question I can sometimes answer because I don’t know if there should be an answer to this question. I don’t want to fool her, but how can I do that if I want her to think that she really has a father and just worked somewhere else.
“Why? Don’t you want mommy anymore?” I started walking again. It’s afternoon again and I’m thinking about what to eat. This is always the scenario. But today is different, now we have no money. This is because it has become my livelihood, so it is not enough.
“No. I feel like you’re tired because you all do everything. Why isn’t daddy coming home?” She put her chin on my shoulder now and then closed her eyes. I smiled bitterly. No. Mommy won’t get tired when you came to my life. As long as you’re here, I know I can …
I hope.
“I’m sorry Adele. I can’t get that first because I still haven’t run out of the ones I bought from you last time. They are still here and have still many here.” Grandpa Selo scratched his head while saying that. I was suddenly nervous and peeked at the sleeping child on my shoulder.
What will I do? She hasn’t eaten yet. She will surely look for food when she opens her eyes. I took a deep breath at grandpa Selo and then I smiled. “Oh! Is that it, grandpa Selo? All right, thank you very much. Just tell me if you want them. I have made quite a bit more.” I turned around and left. When I got home, I immediately searched our dresser and then looked for the wallet that I had hidden for a long time. I just hope these cards aren’t closed yet. I think I called all the saints for this.
I knocked first with Raymond and Shiela to keep an eye on the sleeping Tiarra and I was just going somewhere in town. Just in case it still has money, I’ll buy many groceries so that I can give them to them as well. Fortunately, it was easy to ask them, and I went to town immediately.
Arriving in town, I had a hard time finding a card machine. Because it is a remote province, it is difficult to find such. Fortunately, I saw something; it was getting dark and I was sure it would close. There is a curfew here in the area so they don’t let them be open every night.
I have 4 cards on it. The first is the black card Hugo gave me, the second is my sister’s, the third is my savings and the fourth is for my baby. Before everything went awry, I made it so that I could secure her future.
I took a deep breath, then inserted the card into the machine.