“She confessed to me before you married Hugo. She said she is Soleil. At first, I didn’t want to believe it because how could that happen? Soleil is dead. I want to laugh. But when she showed the burnt skin she had on her face, I knew she was Soleil. Their plane exploded, so the wound was the proof. But instead of rejoicing, it was as if anger had taken over my heart.” Mommy Helena looked away as she recounted what they had talked about the day I saw them talking to Soleil in the lobby before.
The cold breeze hit my skin as I fix my hair. I hugged myself because of the extreme cold. I could also smell the seawater. I looked away from the dark as I listened to mommy Helena’s story. I feel sorry for Soleil because she didn’t like what happened. She was a victim and a project of the world’s failure. I wanted to hug, accompany her in her downfall, but I was tired of experiencing that. I want to feel the joy of the world and not just bitterness and pain. Is that possible? Can I be selfish about something that is not mine?
I turned to mommy Helena, who was still looking away. “Why did you do that?” It was as if I had just repeated Hugo’s question earlier, even though I had already heard her answer. I still want to know so I can better understand if that’s a valid reason, even though I shouldn’t be questioning how she feels. She is a mother, and it hurts a mother to see their children alive but seems to be dead because her child doesn’t go out of his room. After all, she feels she lost Hugo’s life the day the person she loves disappears.
“She has been missing for several years. In those days, I wasn’t able to touch my son, wasn’t able to talk because his days, months, and years were spent mourning for Soleil. No one can approach him. When Soleil disappeared, it was as if I had lost a child too.” Her last words were not straight because she sobbed and her tears flowed one after another. I want to hug her, but she doesn’t need that because she is a mother. She knows what decision will be good for her child. I say this, not because I want Hugo for me. I say this because I also wanted to experience what he was doing for Hugo, but my parents died early.
“She didn’t mean what happened.” It was as if I was swallowing my saliva while defending Soleil. I know she is my strongest opponent when it comes to Hugo, but I feel sorry for her because she has no friends. I feel that the world and the surrounding people are bound to hate her. If I was in her situation, I don’t know if I would have to go back to the life of the person I was the reason that person was once torn apart.
“I know. But I’m scared, Adele. My son is fine now. I can see that he is happy again and smiling. I saw again my Hugo, who had once lost his will to live. What will happen if Soleil returns? Will the pain and bitterness he experienced for her to continue to return or not; what if she suddenly disappears again? I may lose my child forever.” Her sobs are louder now. Because we were the only two people here outside, her voice could be heard clearly, and that was what dominated the quiet night.
I just now examined the sea carefully. The wedding should take place in the morning because it will be motivated by the coming of a new tomorrow and a new life. You will find every day the man you will be with for life. If only this wedding was real, then maybe that was the time I requested. The only case is not. How long will I experience and feel the possibility? When will Hugo hug me without anyone behind me? I feel like every time he hugs me, it’s for Soleil. I feel like I will never take the lead in his life and heart.
I haven’t answered yet. I let silence swallow us. I don’t know if I won when it came to Hugo. I feel like nothing happened. I’m just doing a fight that doesn’t exist. Soleil is the real owner of Hugo. I touched my stomach and tickled it. I hope that when you grow up, you will be like Hugo so that in case we split; I have a memory of him. You are the proof that I was truly happy in a very short time. That even though it wasn’t as happy as the others, I can be proud I was content.
When the night got a little darker, I said goodbye to mommy Helena that I would go in first. She agreed, and I left. When I climbed, everything was quiet, happy wedding it should be, but what happened was just shattered. Instead of people having fun at this time, I didn’t even see anything outside. When I entered the door, there were no people there. The room was quiet, and the silence was deafening. My eyes tried to find Hugo, but I couldn’t find him. Even the hand and blanket are still well placed. It didn’t even change positions. I sat there and felt the sadness of the night. It must have been my happiest day, but the opposite happened.
Fortunately, I was able to change into a comfortable dress, so I no longer had difficulty walking. Because Hugo didn’t help me much to talk to the guests, he entered here first earlier. Maybe to be able to think. I also can’t blame him for his reaction. Anyone who witnessed what happened will be surprised, too. Who would have thought that the person you thought was dead, you have not seen for a long time, the hard part is that your fiance didn’t even tell you is alive.
I stood up to close the window, but when I looked down at where the sea was, it was as if a series of hammer blows hit my heart. It was as if my eyes were covered with pepper and they were dripping one after another because of what I saw.
Hugo while hugging Soleil.