Because I was sleepy, I didn’t know I’d fallen asleep. Because we’ve been gone for a while and I haven’t even had a chance to rest since getting off the airplane. I had just awoken to find Randle no longer alongside me, so I hastily sprang from my slumber. Randle laughed as I opened the door. I was going to walk to them when I heard Randle ask Randall a question.
“Do love mom?” I understood his question, even though it wasn’t straight. They can’t see me immediately away since they’re in the kitchen. I came to a halt just at the door. I’m not sure what they do, but I know Randle eats since he is always talkative when we eat.
I know Randall loves me, but why do I still want to hear those words from his mouth. I waited for Randall’s answer, but I was just hurt by his answer to Randle. I seem to think so highly of myself that over time; he is not out of love. But he said last night that he still loves me, didn’t he? Not even directly. I know that’s what he meant.
“You are still young to ask those things. One day, you will also know the true meaning of those words. Finish your food.” When I heard him rise, I dashed back to the bedroom and laid down. The wound that I thought had healed has reopened.
He would just respond with a yes or no. He doesn’t want to answer, or he could not respond? Then I think about Charlotte. Despite all Charlotte has done to us, he is still with her. Then he wanted me to hear his explanation for why it happened to the two of them. What kind of nonsense does he want me to believe in?
“MOMMY!” Randle’s shout rang around the room as I was buried in deep thought, and when I glanced at him, Randall was carrying him and wiping his mouth. I stood up right away and didn’t glimpse at Randall. I had to return to my parents’ home since I had a lot of work to do for the firm. I didn’t ask about the company while I was in Spain, so I let Archer and Aunt Helena manage it, but now it’s my responsibility.
I stepped up and took Randle in my arms. I also didn’t have any clothing since I couldn’t find my luggage, so we had to return to the mansion. I also have the impression that I stink.
“We’re heading home. Thank you for letting us in.” He didn’t seem astonished by what I said. He also allowed me to pick up Randle. He was dressed in an office outfit, maybe because he was always in the office, so he did not push us to stay.
“I’ll take you.”
I’m no longer debating what he stated. I just finished cleaning up and bringing the bottles and milk we bought the day before. Even in the car, no one broached the subject of what occurred last night since Randle is awake and we don’t want him to hear anything terrible that would lead him to find out more.
“Dad?” That was all Randle said as Randall slid the car into the large gate of my parents’ mansion. I don’t know what he wants to say, but maybe he’s asking how about his daddy.
“We will visit your daddy sometime. Mommy still has work to do so we can’t be with him for a while.” When I told him that, the car stopped. When I opened the door, he suddenly stopped my arm. I just looked at the hand that held me and waited for him to speak.
“Will you let me see Randle again?” As his voice broke at the end, it was as though a hammer struck my heart. It seemed as though tears wanted to fall from his eyes, but he restrained them.
“Don’t worry, I won’t take your son away from you,” I said as I took the bag from behind the seat. I’m not sure why I’ve been annoyed since he didn’t answer Randle’s question. Is there a complicated answer to that? I’m also irritated with myself for making such a small thing feel so significant to me. Where has the Winter that I am so proud of gone?
He kissed Randle on the forehead and tousled his hair. I assumed he was finished, but I was mistaken because he kissed me on the lips and then on the forehead. He simply did not end up there. He gave me the reply I was looking for. That makes me feel better.
“I love you.”
Because what he said stunned me. He exited the vehicle and opened the door. When I came out, he grabbed the bag and led us to the door. I felt as if I were flying as I reflected on what he had done to the car.
He didn’t leave first but rather waited for us to come in. When I got to the top of the steps and stood in front of the largest door, he was still standing. When I opened it, it was then he turned around to leave. As we walked through the door, my heart began to pound. The butterflies came back to life. I could feel redness on both my cheeks and the back of my neck.
I just came back to myself when I saw Aunt Helena walking down the stairs. When she spotted me, the look on her face said it all. When she saw the kid I was carrying, her eyes grew even further.
Unexpected, isn’t it?