Willow smiles and shakes her head. I think she’s finally getting to like my goofiness a smidge, even if she doesn’t know it yet. “So, where do we go?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” Sammy calls from the back.
“Was there a map in those papers she gave us, Will?”
Willow flicks through the papers.
I glance over at her. “The staff here are quite attractive, don’t you think, Will?”
She smirks and rolls her eyes.
We drive for a bit longer and I see a drink cart. “Oh, we need some roadies,” I say as I pull over.
“Roadies?” Will asks.
“Yes, you know… drinks to take on the road. You call them roadies.”
“Oh.”
I hand Sam some money. “Can you go and get us three cans of Coke, Sammy, please, and some crisps and chocolate.”
He holds the money in his hand and looks at me.
“What?” I ask.
“We aren’t allowed to drink Coke.”
“Says who?”
“Dad.”
I roll my eyes. “Well, I’m not going to tell him. Are you?”
He smiles cheekily and goes to the cart.
“God, don’t tell your father I’m letting you drive this golf buggy. He will have a conniption.”
“What’s new, that’s all he does.”
I watch her for a moment as she looks out over the green. Her dark hair is in two plaits. She’s wearing a black cap, and she has her usual grungy-style clothing on. Her skin is porcelain clear and she has the prettiest eyes. She’s actually very attractive underneath all her witch wear. Poor kid. She has this straight-laced father, and I’m pretty sure all of her nanny’s have been as boring as batshit.
Has she ever had someone in her life to have fun with?
Sammy returns, jumping in the back, and we crack open our cans of Coke. I hold mine up in the air.
“Cheers. A Coca-Cola toast.”
They both put their cans up to mine.
“To crazy fun on the golf course today.” I widen my eyes. “With no rules.”
Sammy laughs, and I see excitement dancing in Willow’s eyes as we hit our cans together.
“Anyone know where the first hole is?” I ask as I pull out onto the path.
Willow points to the left. “Up over the hill.”
I grin mischievously. “Hold on, everybody.”
I floor it and we go flying. Sammy squeals in delight, and even Willow cracks a smile. “Let’s show these boring golfers how it’s done.”
I drive like a maniac, and as soon as we are out of the club house’s view, I start to zigzag. The kids both laugh out loud as I try to tip them out.
“We need some tunes.” I glance over at Will. “Can you get my phone and hit Spotify, please.”
She frowns and swipes through the options on the screen.
Hmm, I think for a moment. “I think this day calls for Kanye.”
Willow raises her eyebrow. “Kanye?”
“Yeah. Kanye. Hit the Kanye West playlist.”
“Who’s Kanye West?” she asks.
“Are you kidding me?”
She shakes her head. “Nope.”
“Oh God, do you live under a rock? Don’t answer that. He’s a rapper. I like his old stuff better than his new.”
We arrive at the first hole. I park and we all climb out. The tee off is on a hill, and the golf green is way, way, down below. I put my hands on my hips as I look into the distance.
Willow takes a golf club and ball out, and then she hands them to me.
“I’m supposed to hit this tiny ball into that tiny hole all the way down there?” I point to the green.
“Yep.”
Sammy and Willow stand beside me with their hands on their hips as we contemplate how we can complete this impossible task.
I lean over, place the ball down, and then wiggle my behind. “White ball in the sand pocket,” I announce.
“Oh God,” Willow moans.
I take a swing and completely miss the ball, which causes them both to laugh. I take another, and another, until finally I connect with the ball and it goes scooting across the ground.
I hit the club on the ground. “I’m completely shit at this.”
“It’s true, you are,” Sammy chuckles.
“Your turn, Will,” I say.
She lines it up and takes a swing, missing the ball completely. “You’re shit, too.” I laugh.
She smiles as she concentrates on hitting it again. This time she connects with the ball and it sails high in the air.
“Wow!” Sammy shouts.
“Yeah, baby!” I call. “Have you ever done this before?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Holy crap. You could be the next Tiger Woods or something.”
“Who’s Tiger Woods?”
I roll my eyes. “You need to read tabloid gossip more, girlfriend.”
She smiles proudly as her ball bounces way down the green.
“Maybe you should do those golf lessons, Will? I can bring you.”
She shrugs and we watch as Sammy takes his turn. He, too, starts off by missing terribly, but finally, he beats my shot.
“You drive now, Will.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, why not?” I shrug, “Can’t hurt.” I watch her get behind the steering wheel and I direct her on what to do. When we take off slowly, she laughs out loud.
“Look at me! I’m driving.” She laughs.
I giggle and hit my playlist. The song Gold Digger rings out. I turn it up so it’s loud.
“You’re not just driving, baby, you’re driving to Gold Digger.” I laugh. “This is our aim. Today we are learning all the words to Gold Digger and Black Skinhead.”
She turns to me in disbelief. “You want us to learn rap songs, while we play golf?”
I dance as I mouth the words to her. “Sure do.” I put my hand over to the backseat. “Hit me with some chocolate, Sammy. I need sustenance.”
“Yeah!” he yells, full of excitement. “This is the best day ever!”
It’s 4:00 p. m. and we have laughed our way around every hole.
Kanye has been blaring out and we now know most of the words. Willow has been speeding and trying her best to hit every pothole on the paths. Sammy is beaming with happiness. Come to think of it, so am I.
We got told off twice by boring golfers who told us to turn our music down, which we did for approximately seven minutes each time.
We overtook some slow golfers and missed a hole completely.
We stopped at the shop and bought lunch, because I didn’t feel like eating the shitty jam sandwiches I made for us.
It has been a perfect day.
We have just finished the last hole, and Willow won the game. “I’ll have to drive back to reception, Will, so they don’t see you.”
She pulls the car over and I jump into the driver’s seat. I slowly drive us back down the hill towards reception.
“I’ve had a really great day.” I smile at the kids. “Thank you. That was the most fun I have had in ages.”
“Me, too!” Sammy calls from the back.
Willow smiles.
I point at her. “Haha, I got you smiling. Admit it. You had fun,” I tease, and she rolls her eyes.