Jeyah’s POV
As soon as I entered my room I slumped down on the soft mattress, covering my face with a pillow, and burst into tears. I thought that joining the party would make my day, but I was totally wrong. It was gone wrong more than I ever expected to happen.
Why did Darren kiss me, yet he kissed another woman? What was that? A joke?
I don’t have any right to feel this way. Darren and I are just friends. But I am really hurt and I couldn’t do anything about it.
Suddenly, I heard steps coming into my room and I know it was my brother Andre.
“Sweetie, are you still awake? he spoke and flipped the doorknob.
I hurriedly wiped my tears away because I’m sure my brother will be worried of me if he sees I’m crying. I stood up and leaned my back on the headboard.
“Uhm, yes boo”, I replied with a casual tone.
My brother went closer and sat on my bed.
“How’s the party sweetie? I saw you coming inside”, my brother asked while intently looking at me.
“It’s okay boo”, I responded trying to hide my true feelings.
But as what I’ve said, Andre knows me very well and there’s nothing I could hide from him.
“Wait, are you crying?”, he asked curiously and pulled himself closer to me to clearly see my eyes.
“Tell me. Why did you cry? Did something happen at the party?”, he continuously asked.
I shook my head and told him it was just nothing and I just got something in my eyes. But my brother was not convinced and he is so persistent in knowing the truth. Until I could not able to hold back my tears and burst out all the emotions I’m feeling deep inside. Andre pulled me into a warm embrace and comforted me with his hand caressing my back.
“Okay, cry as much as you can then tell me what happened at the party”, Andre said in a calm but emphatic voice.
It took a few minutes before I stopped crying. My brother pulled me away from him and wiped my tears with a face towel.
“Are you okay sweetie?”, my brother asked me, looking straight into my eyes.
“You may take your rest and I won’t be asking anything for now. I guess you’re not yet ready to tell me but remember, I’m always around, okay?”, Andre spoke and kissed my cheek before he turned his way out.
When I was left alone, I still keep on thinking if this is real. How I wished I was just only dreaming and so when I opened my eyes, everything would turn the other way around. But it’s impossible because I am wild awake at this moment. For now, I need to forget all about Darren and just think of him as my friend.
********
Another day in the school campus.
I was on my way to our building when I saw my groupmates sitting on the benches at the oval. I guess, they did not see me coming because they were not facing at the entrance gate. I think they were talking about something more serious, so I slowly made my steps towards them, but my hearing caught up with another painful truth that made my whole body numb.
“I thought you’re in love with Jeyah bubs?” Clarisse spoke.
“Of course not! She is our groupmate and the policy remains a policy”. These words were coming from Darren.
Tears started to form in my eyes, and all I wanted to do is to run away from them. I know my groupmates noticed my presence because I heard them calling my name but I continued my way going to our building.
After some time, I saw Clarisse entering the classroom and immediately took her seat beside me. I pretended as if nothing has happened and said ‘hi’ to her.
“Bubs, are you okay?”, Clarisse asked.
I just nodded and manifested a forced smile. As much as I could, I don’t want to cry in front of her, ’cause it only makes me weaker. Gladly, our professor came in and so I need to divert my attention to the class discussion.
“Bubs, we’ll talk later okay?”, Clarisse said, showing much concern.
While the professor was discussing the lesson, my mind was wandering somewhere. The words I heard from Darren a while ago, kept on repeating in my mind and it hurts me a lot. I’m just hoping that our professor will not gonna ask me because I could not surely answer his question. Until our class went over and we need to take our break. Clarisse pulled my hand and together we went to the back of our building. We were seated on a long rectangular bench a little distant from other students.
“Bubs, if you don’t mind me asking, are you in love with Darren?”, Clarisse asked seriously while intently looking at me.
“Nope, I don’t, bubs. Maybe I was just attracted to him because he has similarities with my first love Ryle”, I responded. In my mind, it’s useless if I would be honest with Clarisse since Darren doesn’t feel anything for me.
So, you don’t love him bubs? But why you were crying at the party last night when you saw him kissing Bridgette?”, Clarisse asked again, a little confused.
“Well, I thought I have feelings for him bubs, but I only realized this time that it’s always Ryle that I’ve been thinking about all these days. And nobody could replace him in my heart.
I was just glad Clarisse did not ask for something more because I feel guilty already. Yes, I loved Ryle, but it’s all in the past. And the person I love now is Darren, but he doesn’t feel anything for me. He only treated me as his friend because I am now a member of his group. This is the most painful reality I heard from his mouth earlier. So I need to accept it no matter how painful it is. Darren is in love with Bridgette, the reason why he kissed her last night. I was the only one who was expecting too much, and now I end up hurting. I was getting emotional again, and I’m afraid I could not hold back my tears and Clarisse will find out the truth.
“Okay let’s now go to the cafeteria bubs. Our group mates were already waiting for us”, Clarisse told me as she stood up and grabbed her bag.
“I’m sorry bubs, I can’t go with you this time, because I still have something to do in the library”, I responded, trying to avert my gaze.
“No, bubs, I insist. Please…”, Clarisse pulled my hand, so I had nothing to do but follow her all the way to the cafeteria.
While we’re on our way, I couldn’t help but think on how I would be able to face Darren. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable, after all, he is my friend. When we reached the place,
“Hi Jeyah”, my group mates chorused. I responded and smiled at them. I noticed Darren was not paying attention, instead he was busy on his cellphone. So I was thinking it’s better to approach him first.
“Hi bubs Darren”, I spoke. He slightly raised his head and looked at me.
“Hi bubs”, he responded with his mouth in a flat grimace.
Suddenly, I saw Bridgette and her friends coming our way. I don’t want to see her flirting with Darren. I don’t want to be hurt again. But she is already here and there’s no way I could make an excuse.
“Hi, guys”, she greeted us. Then she approached Darren and hugged his back.
“Hi, my love, I missed you. Shall we go out later?”, Bridgette asked.
My heart was aching again, but I tried to divert my attention by scrolling over my phone and pretending that I was busy texting someone else.
“Yes sure. Where do you wanna go?”, Darren responded and turned around to face Bridgette. My tears started to form in my eyes because I am really hurt. It’s like I was struck by a sharp knife, and it’s gradually killing me inside. Gladly, my brother called me, so I had the reason to stay a little far from them.
“Excuse me, I need to take Neil’s call”, I lied and then turned away.
“Hello, boo? Thank you for calling me. I am saved by your call”, I spoke with a quavering voice.
“Sweetie, are you okay? Are you crying?”, my brother asked.
“No boo. I’m fine. Let’s just talk later.”, I responded.
“Uhm, I called you, because I got a call from mom earlier asking me when we will be traveling to Korea to attend her wedding”, Andre said eagerly. I thumped my forehead because it actually slipped off my mind. I remembered mom’s wedding will happen in two days.
“Do you have exams this week, sweetie? If you don’t have, then I’ll book our ticket now”, Andre said.
“I don’t have exams this week, boo, so it’s okay with me”, I replied.
After a while, my brother bid goodbye to me and ended the call. Then, I went back to where my group mates are. Bridgette was no longer there, and I saw Darren talking with Eduard.
“Who was it, bubs?”, Darren asked.
“It’s Neil, bubs”, I lied again, and I feel guilty about it. A loud sigh escaped from Darren’s mouth and later, he stood up.
“I’ll go ahead, everyone. See you around!”, Darren spoke and left.