If Dai Jingcheng knew about her past, should he be so obsessed with her body? Jiang Youyou had joined in the crazy clinical trial at that time, and she was the only one to get the eccentric feel and knew what it was. Originally she had very plain and flat bust, but it began to rise like leavened dough, perhaps due to the action of substantial estrogen in the medicine. She had to wrap her bust tightly with the breast corset to make herself almost breathless so that she would feel a little better.
Fortunately she woke up early, and she was not late at work. The weather seemed quite good. The sunshine in autumn was as precious as the rain in summer. The city in the morning had already smelt of being bustling-the female white-collar workers going to work stood in front of the elevator and took the shortest time to put on lipstick.
Zhao Huixin came along.
Jiang Youyou standing in front of the reception greeted her, “Good morning, Sis Zhao.”
She looked glassy, gawking at Jiang Youyou, and saying, “From today on, you can use my desk. I’ve arranged another staff for reception.
Knowing her secret, Jiang Youyou had an indescribable feeling. “Are you ok, Sis Zhao?”
“I’m all right. I come back to pack up.” Zhao Huixin went into the office.
In less than twenty minutes, she went out again. She seemed to have recollected something in front of the elevator and turned to Jiang Youyou, saying, “What do you think of me?”
Jiang Youyou promptly answered, “You’re a very good person and you’re kind to me. You’re an excellent woman.”
Zhao Huixin gave a bitter smile, “So why is there someone saying that I’m importunate and unreasonable?”
The elevator was going up, so this was the final conversation Jiang Youyou made with Zhao Huixin when she was still alive.
Fifteen minutes later there was a police car roaring towards downstairs. The office was in a mess. Even Luo Junchang came out and was ready to go down by the elevator.
“What has happened?” Jiang Youyou asked the security guard in the stairwell.
“Somebody died. A staff in your company jumped off the building to commit suicide.”
Sis Zhang?!
Jiang Youyou madly entered the elevator. When she got to the first floor, tiers of people had already surrounded the spot, and streams of blood flowed out from the gaps at the foot of the crowd.
Some bystanders sighed emotionally. She was animated a moment ago, how could she be dead so soon.
Jiang Youyou didn’t see Zhao Huixin’s face. The moment she turned around, a blue plastic sheet had covered Zhao’s body. Because she landed face down on the ground, her belly had burst open, so a small, shaped baby hand could be seen on the edge of the plastic sheet.
When they went back to the company, various opinions were expressed. The ones who made the best and the soundest judgment were surely the people who didn’t know the truth at all, while those who knew everything true chose to keep silent.
Luo Junchang seemed to be in a trance. After all, Zhao was an employee in his company. She could choose to finish her life in such a tragic way to jump down from the twenty-seventh floor, and she must have been desperately provoked or she must have been utterly resolute in her decision to die.
Jiang Youyou was all tears. What could she do for her?
In a series of police inquiries, Jiang Youyou was the one the police focused their investigation on. Dai Jingcheng was her alibi.
It was said the police had carried out an autopsy, and it was also said they had found her case report, which said she had serious prenatal depression plus severe schizophrenia. Now Jiang Youyou had shifted from the reception to the office. When she was tiding up the desk she found a letter left by Zhao Huixin, which she wrote to the unborn baby in her womb. It said,
“Lele (Joy):
My dear baby, before your come to this world, Mom have got a name in mind for you, ‘Joy’-for Mom wish you to be joyful every day. Mom won’t demand you to be a most excellent talent, nor to be cleverer than babies of other parents. What I wish is only that you can spend every day in a happy way. Life is short. Mom don’t want my Joy to live a life as Mom did-to live most of my life for someone else, for making a living…-I only hope you are the most excellent, the cleverest baby in Mom’s eyes, that’s enough.
Mom hope to give you the best things from the very beginning. So Mom work very hard even before I have you in my womb. I don’t want my baby to silently watch other children playing with their toys while your mom cannot afford to buy you one; Mom don’t want to have my baby just stay at home and leave you alone at home reading some children’s books while other kids are playing with their friends in the kindergarten. Mom don’t want to take you to a KFC or McDonald’s to play on their shabby slide or with their plastic toys there after having dined their children’s set meal while the other parents take their youngsters to the Disneyland for fun in the holidays.
My Joy, since Mom have had you, I began to lose sleep all night and was filled with anxiety and fear because you came too suddenly, your papa still couldn’t accept your existence, and your Mom haven’t got everything ready. Vomit, nausea and fear occupied the main part of Mom’s life. Mom began to blow hot and cold in mood and even became a bit nervous…I began to hate you little baby sometimes for being so torturous. Whereas each time I’m thinking of your existence and growth day by day in my body, I feel that life is actually so amazing and miraculous.
At this moment I’m also so excited. You’re my only possession in my thirty-two years’ life. Yet Mom can’t possess you but to kill you before your birth. Is Mom like a cruel killer who is going to bring you to death? I even can’t allow you to see this world, to see your mother before you die. While all this is not caused by you. Your mom even have no excuse to kill you, because my dear baby has done nothing wrong. It’s all Mom’s fault because I, I’m an irresponsible mother…
Do you know, my dear baby? Actually Mom really love you so much, long to see you so much. To see that little ball of flesh. Look at that B-ultrasound picture, Mom wanted very much to see what my darling baby look like from that black screen. The doctor prescribed many medicines that were good to you and told me how soon my baby would have heartbeat and how soon to have impulse, how soon my baby could hear Mom talk. While when mother was thinking about you, Mom was about to bring you to destruction, because Mom don’t have the courage to give birth to you, nor can I be able to take on the enormous pressure of your papa’s sudden change. Thus Mom’s faults were laid on my baby’s shoulders. I know this is extremely irresponsible, but Mom really have no other ways. So Mom have to beg your forgiveness. I can’t do you the favor to give you birth.
Joy’s papa, you can’t see this letter, besides joy can you feel a little bit of pain when you know that I and Joy have vanished together from this world? You haven’t been to our home for so long, there are so many rats in the house, and the dishes I prepared for you the last time you came here. I’m reluctant to clear them away. I know your hands are tied. You can’t fulfil what you should achieve because of your limited ability, you’re so busy. You said I’m independent. Yes, that’s true. I’m independent because I have no one to rely on. But this does not mean that I don’t need reliance. There is also the time when I can’t hold on. Next, any decision I make has nothing to do with you.
My dear baby, Joy, I wished I could meet you again in the next life!”
After reading the letter, Jiang Youyou was overcome by grief. It turned out that there should exist such a foolish woman. If she wanted to have the man regret and feel guilty for the rest of his life by committing suicide, she had got nothing but made the man feel unburdened.
These days Jiang Youyou had been immersed in the incident of Zhao Huixin’s suicide, besides, there was always something at work. When you were busy, you tended to make mistakes. And after receiving two bills of fine she was extremely down. Eating Tangyuan in a snack bar, she heard a rapper whose hair was longer than his beard was playing the guitar and singing in the vacant lot in front of the bar:
The woman is really stupid sometimes,
For the sake of love for a man,
They can change their pungent trait
Thinking the man’s parents will be fond of her.
The woman is really stupid sometimes,
For the sake of love for a man,
She can turn her flat belly into a watermelon
And her buns into a wax gourd after she gives birth to a baby.
The woman is really stupid sometimes,
For the sake of love for a man,
She can give up a truck of good men in pursuit of her,
And bury her own most beautiful youthful years.
The woman is really stupid sometimes,
For the sake of love for a man,
She can make herself an office worker as well as an unpaid maid,
And be criticized as a plain Jane by the man’s kin and relatives.
…
While when the woman is in need of him
He said I was very, very busy.