(Filippo Valentini)
I open my eyes and feeling dizzy from the stabbing pain I have been hit with, I close them again. Not only my wound hurts, but also my head, my bones, my joints, absolutely everything in me! Cazzo!
I feel dehydrated and burning, as if fire were splashing directly on my skin, I wriggle around in a futile attempt to get rid of this infernal heat. Oh, shit! I feel trapped! I hate feeling this, it makes me have memories that follow me through the night in the form of horrible nightmares.
After a while, trying not to focus on the pain, I suddenly feel a pair of gentle hands come down on me with a damp cloth, being gently wiped across my face. I let out a sigh of relief and lifted my hand to the source of the coolness and softness, grasping it desperately, as if it were the last thread of hope, the last ray of light.
“Filippo, don’t,” she complains to me. “Lie still, let me take care of you, amato.”
It is Renata’s voice, her command overriding my maddening pain, and obeying her gentle request, I collapse on the mattress, feeling every muscle in my body complaining of pain. She passes a cold cloth over me, temporarily relieving my hellish torment. With each step, I become less agitated, my breathing, once short and rapid, becomes serene, calm.
“Renata,” I concentrated my strength to call her hoarsely by her name.
I feel a cold spoon being placed between my lips, and a liquid being poured into my mouth, water.
– “I am here, mio amato,” – my beloved – she is the only one I can stand to give me those kinds of nicknames, and for some reason, it feels so good when she calls me that, it doesn’t feel disgusting.
I raise my eyes, perplexed by such affection. Not even my mother, she has never been so kind to me, this is the first time I feel so vulnerable in front of someone other than my father, and this – also for the first time – is not bothering me.
I feel her small hand hold my head and lift it a little, I see her recline over me, and before I have to ask for more, she puts the spoon of water between my lips again, repeating the process a few more times before carefully laying me down again, as if I were a baby!
I am putting this off, having to drink water from the spoon on her lap, it is embarrassing, but also, I am taking advantage of such kindness, I never thought someone would be so careful with me, a cold man who doesn’t think twice before pulling the trigger, I know I don’t deserve such kindness.
The room is dark, except for a small beam of daylight coming from the partially covered window through which a cold breeze is blowing in.
She continues to cool my body with the cold cloth, and for the fourth time, I feel grateful to someone, I observe the contrast of her skin over a white sweater with blue bows, making her look like a pure spirit, with a good heart, exercising her magic over me in the midst of this darkness, and for a few moments, I feel that I am not alone, that I have a partner, and this is too strange.
“How long has it been?” I whisper, a little less hoarse.
“Three days,” I sigh when I hear his answer, I have never slept, or rather fainted for so long, I have been training myself to avoid this kind of thing, but it seems that even when I was unconscious, my brain and body realized that they were being well taken care of and allowed themselves to give in to exhaustion. “Lean a little to the side, I’ll help you.”
I do as she asks, she puts a pillow over my lower back and helps me sit up, I don’t feel so weak, but I am enjoying her treatment of me, I want to enjoy it, if only a little longer.
“How are you feeling? Do your eyes hurt? Does your head hurt?” spreads the questions worriedly.
“Water,” I ask. I need to soak my throat some more.
She takes the glass and spoon, I nod my head no, she understands and puts the spoon on the bedside table, I don’t stop her from giving me water in the glass. I watch her look of concern and relief upon me. I drink all the water in the glass.
I take a deep breath, inhaling the sweet smell exhaling from her.
“I woke up feeling stabbing pains all over my body, and also very hot,” I report.
“It must have been the covers, at night you were feeling very cold, I had to put two quilts on you and it wasn’t enough, you only stopped flapping your teeth when I hugged you.”
“Grazie,” I thank her, really feeling grateful for her care for me.
“I’m glad you don’t have a fever anymore, I’ll get you some painkillers for your pain, just a second,” she goes to the bathroom and comes back with two pills, she refills the glass, this time I take the medicine and the glass from her hands, that’s enough of this kindness for today.
“What happened to you?” she asks, staring at the floor. “I mean, you disappeared all day, and when I found you, you were burning up with fever and an open wound on your shoulder, were you shot?”
“Yes,” I answered, staring into his eyes.
“I thought so, will you tell me what happened?”
“I can’t. Why not?”
“Why not?” She gets up and gets out of bed. “I’m not asking for names, places, values, services, I’m just asking what happened for my boyfriend to be shot!”
I sigh at her words, I owe her at least a short explanation, she has taken care of me for three days. I will not tell them that I was shot during an FBI operation, but at least something to calm them down.
“As I left the headquarters, my car was pursued, they started shooting at me and one of the shots hit me.”
“Oddio!” – “oh, God,” she exclaims, putting her hands over her mouth. “Why did they do this? Why would they try to kill you?”
“I still can’t rid the world of all the vermin,” I say and she understands, I know she does because she shuts up and looks at the ground, probably remembering that I have already killed her.
“You should walk with security guards, it’s dangerous…”
“I never go without security guards,” I cut her off.
“I’ve never seen one with you.”
“Because they are paid to be exactly like that, I don’t want to attract attention with a bunch of security guards glued to my feet.”
“And where were they that didn’t stop you from getting hurt?”
“They are men, not God, I didn’t die because they did a good job.”
She bites his lips and his eyes fill with water, she sits back down on the bed and closes her eyes tightly, I stay still, just watching her, analyzing her features.
“Don’t scare me like that again, I’m too young to die of worry,” she says looking into my eyes, I smile and pull her onto my lap. “Stop, you could hurt yourself,” she says as I lay her head on my good shoulder.
“Grazie for taking care of tuo ragazzo, piccola” – “your boyfriend, little one,” I say and kiss the top of her forehead.
“Don’t make yourself available,” she says and kisses my breast.
I smile at his response, and we remain in a long embrace for a few minutes, until a growl in my belly echoes loudly, and I feel his chuckle on my chest.
“We’d better prepare something for you to kill whoever is killing you,” she says, getting up.
“Is Luisa here yet? What time is it?” I question as I put my feet on the floor, feeling the fluffy carpet, this was not here before.
“It must be about seven o’clock in the morning. I told her she didn’t need to come, I would take care of things while you were bedridden, she will come again when you are healed.”
“I’m practically brand new already,” I say, getting up, but I get dizzy, Renata quickly holds my waist, and I place my face in the curve of her neck. “You smell good,” I whisper in her ear, and see her hair shiver.
“You’re taking advantage of the situation,” she says as I kiss the warm, soft skin of her neck.
“Of course, I’ll never get sick of the sweet smell my girlfriend has.”
“Rascal!” She says and we start walking to the kitchen, where she leaves me sitting at the table and goes to the fridge.
“How were those days at the company without me?” I ask as she picks up the frying pan to make the eggs.
“I called Sofia and told her you were sick, and Lucas was in charge of everything along with her. I didn’t go to the company, I stayed here to look after you,” she explains as she scrambles the eggs in the pan.
“I hope they didn’t make a mess in my office,” I say softly, remembering how those two love to fuck in risky places, even though I have already said that if I catch them in my office, I will fire them both for just cause and tell her husband what she did.
I can’t imagine what Lucca will do when he finds out about his wife’s betrayals.
“Tomorrow I will go back to work,” I say, watching her set up the table with our coffee, I wanted to help her, but I’m not quite finished yet.
“Don’t you think it’s too soon, and if your wound reopens?”
“I’ll be careful” I say, starting to eat what she has prepared.
“I still think it’s too early, you’ve just woken up, after almost three days of being unconscious, you need to rest.”
“I practically rested for three days, I don’t like to stay home and do nothing.”
“Okay, you know,” he shrugs his shoulders and starts to eat too.
We eat in silence, I finish before she does, and begin to watch her mouth rolling back and forth while she chews.
“What’s wrong?” she asks with frowning eyebrows. “Did I get food all over me?”
“I was just remembering that we stopped just in time to get a blowjob from you,” I smile as I see her face change color.
“I don’t…”
The sound of my cell phone rings interrupting her, it is in the same place I left it when I came home, on the couch in the living room.
“Can you get it for me, please?” I ask, she looks at me in a strange way, I can’t understand what she means by this look, but soon she does as I ask.