MATEO’S P. O. V.
I watch her walk away. I watch her get in that truck and pull away. I watch until it is out of sight. Not once does it slow down. It doesn’t turn around. She is gone. I held it together this long, but I can’t any more. I drop to my knees right there on my front porch. She is gone. I need her back, she is already too far from me.
Ash comes up to my side. “She is going to come back. Just keep it together for a little longer.” He puts a hand on my back trying to comfort me.
“A part of me didn’t believe that she would leave me, but she left. She’s gone.” I feel defeated.
“You are going to see her the day after tomorrow. Don’t fall apart now. She needs you strong.” He lifts me from the floor. “You can do this. You are the strongest Alpha I know.”
“I am the only Alpha you know.” I mutter.
“Even better. Now, pull it together. Find her an amazing birthday present. Find a suit that makes you look like a walking heart throb and get ready to win your girl a ride home.”
“Me being her mate isn’t enough to get her for her birthday?”
“No, no it isn’t.”
I sigh. “Let’s work on those prisoners. I want to keep busy right now.”
“Good idea. She wanted the cells cleaned out.” He nods and ushers me back to the house. “I collected all the records that we have on the prisoners. I sorted those that are there for grievous crimes and those there for minor ones. It will be easy.”
“Yay. Exactly what I wanted to be doing today.” I groan.
“Also there is a new prisoner, not really sure what you want to do with her.”
“Who is she?”
“She is Alyssa’s sister. She helped her collect the silver to poison her claws.”
“Turn her over to the council. We are going to start contacting them again. If we need to go back to the old way then we will deal with that later. Right now all the grievous wolves will be turned over to them.” I want to kill her. She is part of the reason why Lila is gone. She hurt her. But she wouldn’t want me to do that. She would want me to turn her over to the council. I am doing this your way Lila.
If she doesn’t come back then I plan on ripping them all apart. I need her. Like I told her she evens me out. I can’t be without her.
LILA’S P. O. V.
As soon as I get home I am bombarded by all of my family. Including cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. I feel like I am a Disneyland attraction and they all have to see me. Eli’s mate is here. She doesn’t look pleased to see me but I am as pleasant as possible. She will understand that Eli and I don’t love each other like that. But we are still really close.
I feel the loss of Mateo as soon as I am here. Even surrounded by people I feel alone. I wanted to turn around as soon as I got in the stupid truck, but it wasn’t an option. I keep pushing through. I managed to break away from all the questions and how are you feeling. Jace and Eli took my bags back to my room. I use the excuse that I am tired and want to rest, even though I have been sitting on my ass the whole damn trip.
I am sitting in my room alone when I pull out the pictures that Callum gave me before I left. The first is of me hugging Callum. He looks just as he does now. The second looks the same, only Callum looks about ten in this one. He thinks I am coming back, that’s what this is. The next one is of me and Mateo, I am holding a baby. I am assuming it is our baby. I can feel the tears. The next is Mateo kissing me. I can’t go on there are more but I can’t look anymore. What the hell am I doing?
There is a soft knock on my door. I turn and see my dad. He smiles sheepishly at me. “Sorry, little bug. I just really wanted to talk to you alone.” He steps into the room. I try to hide my tears but he doesn’t miss them.
“Was it hard? I mean killing her?”
I nod. “I have been having nightmares. I had to though, it was her or me. I had to do it. I didn’t want to. Why am I plagued with this when I tried to stop it?”
He sits next to me on the bed. Before I know it he has me in his arms. “I know it’s hard. I haven’t actually killed anyone but I came close once. I was plagued with nightmares for years.”
“What happened?”
“It was you, little bug.” He seems filled with so much regret. “I did everything to try to redeem myself. I couldn’t. I patrolled the border on the outside of the lands to keep rogues out. I didn’t want anyone coming here to hurt you. I did enough damage.”
“Do you still have nightmares?”
“Not since I came back into your life. Not since I embraced the fact that I am punished enough by seeing my mate with someone else. I still regret what I did, but I moved past it. I know you forgave me. I had to come to terms with it.”
“What do you think I should do about it?”
“I think you should find your mate and live a happy life that you deserve. You did what you could to not hurt that girl. She made her own choice. Just promise me something.”
“What dad?”
“If you meet your mate and he is an Alpha, I want you to take me to your new pack with you. I don’t want to stay and watch my punishment anymore. I will still feel it, but I don’t need to watch it without you.” He holds me closer. “You are what I live for everyday. Without you I don’t want to be here.”
“Ok, dad. I promise if I ever leave, I’ll take you with me. I love you dad.”
“I love you too little bug. More than you could ever know. I honestly didn’t know I was going to hurt you or your mother with what I did. I was selfish and didn’t think. Now I watch her in her new life and know that it could have been me. She was with me. We were planning more kids after you, did you know that?”
“No, what I don’t get is if you loved mom so much then why did you do it?”
He sighs. “At the time there were a lot of men after your mom. She told me she only wanted me but it was getting too much. When I heard that Gabe was after your mom and your mom was pulling away from me, I thought she wanted him. She didn’t at the time by the way, but that was how I felt. She snuck off that day to see Gabe, I didn’t know the details but I knew that was where she was. Allison was doing whatever she could to show that she wanted me. I wanted to feel wanted. I didn’t think it would hurt anything once. Just one time and then she would be gone. When Jay came into that cell, I knew my life had ended. He didn’t even have to tell me what happened. I just knew as soon as I saw him.”
“So, then after she rejected you was when she felt the bond for Daddy.”
He nods. “Yeah, she would have never felt it if I didn’t screw up. She talked to me about it afterwards. We really talked about all of it. But all in all I think that was our biggest problem. We didn’t like to talk. If we would have talked more, you would have only had one dad. Your grandpa used to complain about our lack of conversation all the time. He was right too. Talking is key in any relationship. I see that with your mom and Gabe. Even when she is pissed to high heaven she still talks to him and he talks to her. At least I know she is well taken care of. I just have to make sure your mate does the same for you.”
“What if I decided I didn’t want my mate?”
“Lila, that isn’t something for you to choose. Your mate is picked for you by the goddess. Your mom and I are not your typical story. Usually you find your mate and you are happy with them. When you push them away, that is when you are miserable. I pushed your mom. It was my fault. Don’t make my mistake, little bug. If you find your mate, hang on to him. Don’t push him away. I am sure the goddess picked someone really special for you. You are a special girl. She would have given you the best. Just like she did for your mom. After me of course.”
“You are a really good dad, you know that right?”
“Well, I do try.” He chuckles. “I am going to let you get some rest, I am sure it has been a long week.”
“Thanks dad. I really needed this talk.”
“Glad I could help.” He pats my back. “I’ll come see you tomorrow. You still owe me dinner.”
“Tomorrow night dad. Promise.”
“You better not leave the pack. I couldn’t stand it if you were kidnapped again.”
“I’m not going anywhere dad.”
“Good night little bug.”
“Good night dad.” I watch as he closes the door behind himself. Believe it or not, this talk was one of the best in my life. It helped me so much. My dad may be a screw up by a lot of standards but he is a good dad.
I can only hope that it isn’t too late.