Rachelle’s pov
It had already been exactly three days since my rough patch with Everett, since we gave each other space and barely even talked or looked long enough at each other. It hurt me too, but he had to give me space because I needed it. I wasn’t a log of wood, I had feelings too and I was deeply hurt by what he did to me the morning after our first time having sex. It was really hurtful and it felt degrading to me; waking up to an empty cold bed alone without your lover after your first time together! Thinking about it made me even more angry, I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt after asking him to give me space.
He knew he messed up, I was also glad his conscience wouldn’t let him be when he realized the gravity of what he did.
I went through thick, and hell in the hands of Kyle when I was still stuck at the blood moon pack before I escaped and everything he did to me and made me do was really traumatizing. I still have nightmares about them once in a while… especially since I started sleeping without Everett. Everett made me feel wanted, beautiful and special though but my feelings and the little dignity I had left was dragged through the mud and shattered like glasses when he left me alone in bed that morning without a good morning before he left for work and it felt like the times I had in Kyle’s rooms, it was sickening.
It was like I was dragged back in time through a time machine… waking up on the floor in my own pool of blood in the morning the first time Kyle had his way with me. I cried till I had a serious stomach ache from vomiting out of disgust and got admitted to the infirmary… I couldn’t stay there for long though because Kyle called for my presence again and beat me up to stupor, while he accused me of faking my condition. I felt like an abandoned bag of trash that fell out the back of a trash disposing car, like I had lost my worth and had no use in this life anymore… I couldn’t describe the depression I was plunged into but I knew I was never the same after that day, I’m still not the same, not even with Everett… They were my scars and I was meant to carry them forever.
I didn’t realize I had squeezed the hair brush in my hand so tight that it broke into two. I dropped the brush and palmed my face, taking long breaths to calm myself down and stop the tears that were fighting to have their way out.
Minutes later, I had recovered from my little breakdown and raised my head to look at the mirror where I sat opposite the vanity in my room. I craved for emptiness at that moment because I hated the way I was feeling upon remembering the horrible things Kyle made me go through. My eyes were a bit red from the struggle with my tears so I took a tissue and dabbed them to get rid of the redness, it worked.
Everett didn’t know about the things Kyle did to me, he just knew I was tortured and mistreated. I hadn’t told him yet and I knew if I did tell him, he was probably going to lose it and kill Kyle himself but I didn’t want that. I had vowed to kill Kyle and Kylie myself and that was what I was going to do… I didn’t know when but someday soon, I was going to fulfill that promise I made to myself. I sighed and took another brush then gently brushed my hair, my locks were getting longer and I knew I had to trim my hair or maybe get a new style; try something new since I had the liberty now, Violet could help me choose something nice.
Once I was done with my hair, I dropped my brush and stared at the mirror for a pretty long time. I had little scars on my face that weren’t so obvious anymore, I always thanked the universe for making me a werewolf because it gave me the power to heal faster and get rid of scars that I could make disappear from my skin and it helped me alot, considering the amount of scars I’d gotten before I even clocked twenty.
Looking at my scars always reminded me of the horrible things I had been through and I always wondered if I could ever fully heal from the trauma and the hurt the memories inflected on my mind.
I always wondered if I would ever be like normal werewolves that lived normal happy lives without having anything that triggers a reaction or emotion in them, without anyone to wake up the huge fear that always lurks behind their minds for this particular someone… or people. I was like that, little things made me have goosebumps from extreme fear that suddenly woke up in me and then I would remember I was now far away from them and calm myself down. Sometimes I’d hear sounds that sounded similar to Kyle or Kylie and I’d want to panic but then I’d remember they couldn’t get to me now… I was always on edge still, full of fear and anger and quick to react to little things because of what I went through in their hands. They made me be this way; scared, angry and fidgety and I always wondered day and night, whenever I got the chance… if I’d ever be free from this emotional damage someday or I’d just have to live with it and keep on fighting the demons that lived rent-free in my head.
All of these were part of my reason for asking for space from Everett when he came up to my room to apologize. He finally realized what exactly he did and decided to correct his wrong action towards me. I was happy he apologized but with everything that had happened so far, between Everett leaving alone in bed without a word and my fur when I shifted in from of everyone always had me in thoughts and getting scared with random assumptions popping up in my head all the time so it was normal that I needed the space to gather my thoughts and be myself again… at least I wanted to be better and not pour my worries on him. I was glad he didn’t insist I listen to him or take him back immediately and just gave me the space I asked for.
Three days now and I missed him. Hell, I missed everything about him, his smile, laughter, his soft hands trailing down my skin and how we’d tease each other while flirting at the same time. I missed the way he’d hold me tight at night In bed while we slept. I missed everything about him.. even his presence, just his presence did heavy things to me and I missed it, missed the way I felt wanted by someone for once in my life.
I had had enough of these thoughts that seemed to be draining my energy this morning. I stood up from my chair and decided to do stretches… hopefully it’d take my mind off things. It didn’t work. I groaned and laid on my bed, I was beginning to regret why I had asked for space from him in the first place because I was the one who would determine the continuation of our relationship whenever I wanted between us and I didn’t even know the perfect words to use when I’m to tell Everett that we were good and we could get back together. How was I even going to face him? I expected him to get tired of waiting and perhaps plead with me again then I’d agree this time and say we were good. I scoffed at myself
So much for trying to have pride, I thought.
I didn’t want to go out because I was avoiding him and I knew I was liable of breaking my rule if I found myself around him… the want to always do things to him lurked in my veins and sometimes I found it annoying that it was hard to control myself around him. I was thirsty though and I really wanted to go out of the four corners of my room for a while. I wasn’t in prison so I had the freedom to go wherever I wanted.
I shrugged and stood up, what was the worst that could happen if we bumped into each other? I trusted myself a little in ignoring him and just walking away. I was going to try and not have body contact with him.
I got to the kitchen and got a glass of water and drank it then I decided to eat something too, a little snack would do. I made a simple and quick sandwich and sat down to eat it, then I heard Theodore’s muffled voice… he sounded like he was talking to someone and I suddenly got the urge to eavesdrop. I had my sandwich so I just drank another glass of water and tiptoed over to the door that led to the room where he was. He was with Everett and their voices were really low but since I was close, I could make out what they were saying.
Everett looked down and Theodore was trying to lift his mood up. I just heard Everett repeating “I miss her” repeatedly in between what he was saying and it was pretty obvious he was talking about me. I felt bad because I missed him too and wanted him back just as much as he did want me back. They began to make for the door and I couldn’t let them see me hiding at the door, they were going to figure out I was listening to their conversation and that would be rude. I quickly rushed over to the tap and turned it on, pretending I was washing my hands.
“Rachelle, you’re here” Theodore said and I turned to him, he was alone and I wondered what Everett was up to. “Yeah, I just had a sandwich” I replied and he nodded before walking out of the kitchen. I followed notvling after and left for my room, I couldn’t risk being alone with Everett in a room.
I tried arranging my room again, for the fourth time in three days. I found out arranging my room always distract me from my thoughts so I began to do it when I was thinking, then Everett slowly walked in and my heart thundered at seeing him
“I know you’re going to ask me what I’m doing here but I just want to apologize again Rachelle” he said before I could utter a word and came really close to me then took my hand “I miss you Rachelle, I haven’t been myself these days and I can’t function without you. I don’t think I can continue giving you the space you asked for. Please take me back” he added and I knew a crooked smile was on my face as I stared at him, I won, he begged again, I didn’t have to risk my pride.
I smiled “I’ve missed you too Everett” I told him and he smiled then pulled me in for a long hug “I can’t believe we’re back together now, I thought you’d give me another condition considering how bad I messed up with us” he said in my ear while hugging me. I hugged him back and inhaled his scent, damn! I missed this man, I still couldn’t explain the things he did to my insides “that wouldn’t be necessary, jusG t don’t fuck anything up again” I told him and he pulled back to look at me “of course Rachelle” he said and held my face with both hands. He had a tender look in his eyes as he smiled “I’m in love with you Rachelle” he said before pulling me in for a kiss.
Fireworks! They exploded in my chest with glee.