I’ve been watching Mary, but she doesn’t seem to mind she goes on about her business like nothing is happening I know her secret I’m just waiting for the perfect moment to strike Landon is getting well, and he will soon be back on his feet and he will want to leave to continue the search for Jayden.
I wanted to take this chance to find Jayden, but I haven’t gotten any farther than what I was. I want to tell Landon because maybe he will know of some hiding spots that Mary might have used. If anyone knows her, it would be Landon that knows her best.
I think my biggest issue is I don’t know how to tell Landon. I don’t want to be the person who breaks his world. I don’t want him to have to lose someone else he cares about. But I’m at the point now where I’m not sure if I have another option.
I try so hard to stop thinking about everything, but I can’t. All I really want to do is sleep, but I can’t. My head is spinning. With all that has been happening, figuring out what I’m going to do, but for the first time. I need to choose what is going to make me happy. I need to stop doing what I think everyone wants me to do, I need to
just do what is best for my life.
No matter the reasoning that Mary wants me to marry Ivan, I’m not, I do not love him, I can barely stand him. All the torture that he has caused me, I will not be his wife ever. I am a person who forgives and forgets, but he took my child, our child with no care in the world. He might not remember the monstrous things that he did, but he still did them.
It’s not so easy just to forgive someone who has taken so much from you. That has hurt every part of you. I know now that I need to talk to Landon, so we can figure this out together. No matter his reaction, he will hold it together because he will have me to help him. Just like he has helped me.
I then hear star “he also betrayed you. He handed you to your worst. fear, what makes him any better than our mate.”
“You will always defend our mate. How do you know that our mate isn’t pretending to be good.”
“No matter how you think you feel about our mate, you are meant to be with him, not Landon. You will be stronger beside your mate. The bond enhances our abilities. You might even be able to talk to Jayden if he is near.”
“Wait, I will be able to find where she is hiding him.”
“Yes, he will be able to communicate with you. Your ability is so much more than you understand. But if you choose to be with Landon, you will never know what you truly are capable of.”
“Star I’m tired of pretending to be happy, I just want to do what makes me happy for once and not what is best for everyone else.”
“It’s up to you, but if you decide not to be with Ivan and you and Landon never find Jayden, will you be able to live with yourself? Knowing you could have done something that would have found him.”
I become so frustrated I block her out, I’m aware that she is right, but I don’t want to hear it anymore. As I lie in my bed, I begin kicking and moving my arms like a child throwing a tantrum. I’m so frustrated, always doing what is best for everyone else. But maybe this is what is best, what is supposed to happen. Maybe I need to accept the fact that I am different.
Even if I’m not falling head over heels for my mate, I am still met to be with him. Even if the reasons are unknown, it’s still my destiny. Star is right,, no matter what, I’m never going to be able to run from it. Even if I leave, it won’t change the fact that Ivan is my mate, not Landon.
If making it official with Ivan means, I would be able to communicate with Jayden, maybe it would be worth it. Then Landon and Jayden will be able to disappear without a trace. Then maybe fate will bring us back together someday in the future.
Knowing I’m not going to get any sleep, my mind will not stop. So I know what I need to do to help ease myself. I decide to go on a run to clear my head, knowing the fresh air would also be nice. so, I shift into my beautiful wolf. Instead of waking anybody, I just jumped out my open window.
Once my paws touch the ground, it feels amazing. I just take off with no care and I run as fast as I can. My heart is pumping faster and faster, feeling so exhilarating. Trying not to think of anything and just run. Clearing my head of everything trying to just think of absolutely nothing, Clearing my head of everything trying to just think of absolutely nothing.
Then I am quick to realize that thinking of nothing and clearing my head isn’t possible. As I then hear someone and realize I am not alone. I begin to look to try to find who it could be, but I see nothing. I tried to pick up a scent, but I couldn’t. I don’t become scared, just frustrated and angry that I can’t figure out who it is.
I then stop and shout whoever you are show yourself. If you present yourself to me, I will spare your life. But if you do not, and you try to attack, I promise you that you will not survive. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will do what’s necessary to protect myself. As I stand there in silence, I then feel hands on my ankles as they pull my feet out from underneath me and I fall to the ground.