I am waking up by the sun shining through the window into my eyes. I can feel anger consume me. But I do not react. I hold it and bury it. I need to act like nothing is wrong. I hear a knock on my bedroom door. It surprises, me not sure who it may be.
“Who is it” In gently tone
“It’s Mary, sweetheart. With your breakfast, I offered to bring it to you today. I figured that we could talk about what will be our next step.”
As she is walking over and placing the tray on my bedside. I say to her,” We will just have to wait and see what the next steps are.”
“Well, alpha, I think it’s time that you establish what our next steps are. The pack is waiting for you to lead them you need to lead them.”
I make myself seem weak as I respond, “I don’t want to lead them into destruction. I don’t want anybody to get hurt, Mary. What am I to do?”
“You are the Alpha. You must determine what is right for all of us.”
“I’m aware that I am the alpha, but I didn’t ask to be the alpha you recommended it. So, I think you should be my second in command and help me make the decisions for the pack. It’s perfect everybody trusts you.”
Wanting her to fall into my trap, maybe I will be better at deceiving her than I thought. I really thought it would be hard, but maybe not. She looks at me and smiles. “Oh Lilly, you are so sweet, but I am too old to be your second in command. That is your mate’s job.”
“I don’t want my mate to be my second in command. I do not trust him. I don’t know him and what if he leads them to their doom? I would never be able to forgive myself. Mary, please, I need you even if it’s just for a little bit until I get the hang of things. Or until Ivan and I build a relationship, I told him I would try.”
“Lilly, I’m uncertain if that’s such a good idea. I have so much to do to take care of. I can’t add more responsibility on to myself.”
“Then I wave those responsibilities to someone else, and you walk along beside me. Don’t forget, I am your alpha, and you are to respect me.”
“Oh, Lilly, there’s no need to get upset, my dear. I will help you as long as I can, but I cannot be your second in command. That is for your mate.”
I can feel my evil side laughing inside running up to her giving her a fake squeeze, hugging her like she is my entire world that she has made me the person who I am. Knowing it’s all fake, and I’m getting closer to finding Jayden. That’s all that matters to me, so bring on the pretending.
“Oh Lilly, it’s know problem. I will help you with as much as I can. I just can’t stay with you constantly. I have to get my pack duties done as well.”
“I can put your duties on to someone else. Just tell what you need done, and I’ll make sure it gets done.”
I watch as she seems to be confused and unsure of what to say. It doesn’t stop her from her own desit it’s okay. “Lilly, I want to avoid putting my responsibilities on anyone else.”
I don’t continue asking because this will be my chance to watch her. I’m not a very good liar, but I’m trying. I don’t want to blow it. She has proven to me that she is hiding something. Making me angry that I didn’t notice it before. She was never concerned when Jayden was missing. Now realizing he was never missing, he was taken by no one other than his grandmother.
“Oh, you’re probably right I don’t want to be that alpha that puts all the responsibilities on someone else. I don’t want them to think that I have favorites even though you are my favorite.” I smiled at her.
“That is so sweet, my dear. Why don’t you eat your breakfast, so we can start our day?”
“Yes, I will be out when I am finished. Thank you so much for preparing me breakfast.”
I smile as I watch her walk out the door, worried if maybe I acted too obvious. We will just have to see where this all goes. She doesn’t really know. Me. Like my mother she would always know I was lying right away. I could never get away with anything.
My mother was so great that I never really had to lie. I could tell her anything. If she didn’t agree with it, she still encouraged me to make my own choice. We would always go over the pros and cons. She’d want me to know the consequences of my actions, if there were any. She would always say to me this is your life to live, not mine. I will guide you the best that I can, but I can’t make you live the life that I want for you. It has to be a life you choose for yourself.
I wish that things would just be normal, but that is not the case. I snap myself out of my thoughts and begin to eat my breakfast. As I am eating it, I become nervous wondering what if she poisoned it? God, I hope she didn’t put anything in it. I then ask myself, Would she poison my breakfast possibly, especially if she would take her own grandchild? And watch as his father, her son, suffers through looking for him.
I need to stop this nonsense. I can’t do anything that will make her suspicious that I know what is happening. And though I don’t trust her, I need to act like I do and make choices that she would believe I would make. I swallow hard as I finish my breakfast and I think to myself, alright let’s start the day.