CLARA’S POV: A month later
Now, a month after nights upon nights of vigorously trying to control my wolf, my new titles have somehow become: ‘devil luna’, ‘devil Donna’, ‘devil she-wolf, just anything with a devil before it!
The reason, you ask? Well, my wolf is the new me…basically. It seems my own body doesn’t even belong to me, since I’m the one who’s always fighting for control! She takes over typically whenever Kasan is out of sight and lunges at whomever she spots first, be it humans, the rest of the pack or a freaking rat. For some reason, she usually spares my brother, his mate, Kenley and my parents from her violence. But that doesn’t make it any less bad!
And don’t get me started on full moons. She’s like a feral animal!
Believe me, I’ve tried to control this wretched behavior of hers, but unless Kasan’s around, everything that breathes becomes her punching bag. So that ‘training’ he mentioned, was utterly useless.
It was almost nighttime when I sat on my bed, a matchstick between my teeth and a book in hand as I skipped page after page. I had read the same thing three days ago and now, I’m back to reading it again. That’s how boring my life’s been these past few weeks.
Setting the book down, I stood to my feet and stretched a bit before walking out my room door. I heard little chattering as I moved down the hall, but the second I stepped a foot on the top of the stairs, suddenly, there was pin drop silence through the mansion. I sighed, descending the stairs with a scowl.
The air is stifling down here. It’s impossible to even walk around without sucking up the disgusting gloom surrounding everyone. I’m notorious for my out-of-control wolf, so the whole pack pretty much tries to stay clear of me. This is the result.
“Kasan’s not here yet?” I asked as I stepped down the last stair and walked into the living room. I ignored the side glances from the guys lounging around there and looked at mom, raising a brow. She was sitting at the far end of one of the couches as she watched the TV.
Her eyes shifted to me and she shook her head. “I haven’t seen him.”
Ugh! Where the hell is that prick!
For an annoyingly long while now, he’s been working on cleaning up the remains of his traitors by basically wiping out whosoever wasn’t present during the war, with absolutely no mercy. He also has Nate locked up at some torture house where he goes off to any time he feels like punching something. And besides that, he’s been trying to get on Kenley’s good side so he’s almost always following in his shadow and never at home.
Speaking of Kenley, he’s been…well…the same? He glares at me every time he sees me and curses me for the simplest of things, so yeah? I guess that’s how it’s always been? I still feel like shit since he hasn’t said anything about what happened, but Kasan says he’s getting accustomed to his werewolf side pretty quickly. Not that that makes me feel any better.
Sighing again, I headed into the kitchen, pulling a bottle drink out of the fridge and popping the cap before tipping it at my lips then walking back out, “Did Lucas not come back as well? I asked him to buy me some stuff on his way.”
Mom’s face took on a scowl almost immediately, “Don’t ask me ’bout that wolf.”
I rolled my eyes. She and dad are currently struggling to build any kind of relationship with Lucas and Kasan or any one here for that matter. I’ve tried to clear the air and I’ve tried to get them to talk for my sake, but to no avail. There honestly seems to be no hope of truce on all sides.
“What did you want to buy anyway? I can get it for you.”
I stiffened, almost choking on my drink, “T-That?…Uh…b-books?” I stammered. “Y-You don’t have to get them for me though! He’ll d-definitely bring them!”
Mom’s brow rose suspiciously, but she thankfully didn’t ask anymore questions. I breathed a sigh of relief, quickly shifting on my feet and shuffling back up the stairs. The second I was in my room, I slammed the door shut behind me and sprawled my body across the bed, smacking myself upside the head.
Oh fuck.
I was totally awkward just now! Mom definitely knows something’s up, doesn’t she?! But I couldn’t possibly tell her…
I really couldn’t tell her…
…that…I asked Lucas to buy me pregnancy tests…!
Yeah, aside from the problem with my wolf, there is another teeny weeny wincy problem.
…I’ve been unable to keep anything down for a few days now. That is a mild sign, but still crazy, right?
So, am I worried?…Yes I fucking am!
There is a possibility that me; Clara Henry am pregnant? Unbelievable! The only thing I know how to do is shoot guns and mess with Kasan. I can’t even change a diaper! How am I supposed to waddle around with a little koala clutching me for their dear life?
No. Firstly, I must not jump to conclusions! Aside from vomiting and nausea, I feel completely fine. And this isn’t the first time this happened and in the end, I turned out to be perfectly free of babies. This time, won’t it be the same?
BUT!…if I am really pregnant…. I actually don’t think a baby bump would be too bad… Plus, it’d be a funny scene to see Kasan changing a diaper too. And if he h—
“Clara.” The sound of Lucas’ call cut my thoughts and had me springing to my feet in an instant. I straightened the bedsheets quickly before scurrying over to the door, pulling the door open.
Lucas stood there in his sweats, a plastic bag in his right hand and his usual blank expression on his face. I didn’t go out myself because I’d have to bring a long line of Kasan’s guys with me, so I asked Lucas to buy the tests instead. It was a weird request, but I preferred asking him more than anyone else.
I grabbed the bag before he even had the chance to give it to me. Then I took him by the arm, tugging him inside.
“Did you buy it? How many did yo—?” I stopped midsentence when my eyes caught sight of a figure loitering behind him. I craned my neck, watching as a grinning Ashley (Ash) stepped into plain sight, aka Lora; the bitchy nightwalker who infiltrated the pack and tried to kill me.
After the fight a month ago, Kasan was persistent on locking her up wherever Nate was, but for Lucas’ sake, I managed to convince him to let her join the pack and now here she is, having fun following Lucas around wherever he goes. And since he is normally by my side like some lost puppy, they both always end up bickering right next to me.
I seriously need to get Lucas to understand that his life doesn’t need to revolve around me because he has literally replaced my shadow! But I think he does it because he feels he has to. Truth is, up til now, we’re still working on us, but I don’t think we’ve come anywhere close to soaking up our guilt. He’s feeling guilt, I’m feeling guilty, we’re both pitifully drowning in guilt…still, I’d like it if he lived a little.
“Why’d you bring her? This was supposed to be our secret!” I glared at him.
I should’ve known!
“She insisted.” He shrugged.
Ash stepped inside without even waiting for my permission, setting her hand on Lucas’ shoulder. “So, you’re preggo?” She said, a chuckle rising up her throat. “I wonder how the big boss will take this news. I’ve never heard of him being fond of kids.”
“That’s none of your concern.” I crossed my arms over my chest and clenched the bag tighter in hand, her words not failing to irritate me. “Why can’t you learn to mind your business?!”
“Don’t mind her. She won’t tell anyone. I can sit, right?” Lucas slipped her hand off as he went to sit on the armchair beside the bed. He then stretched over, grasping the book I was reading and looking over it with a frown. “Didn’t you finish this already? Should I get you a few more?”
“No. Its fine.” I sent Ash one last glare before closing the door and walking back into the room, “I like this one so I don’t mind reading it again.”
He nodded. “Has your wolf been bothering you lately?”
“I don’t have much headaches anymore but I still don’t know when she’ll pop up. Plus, Kasan isn’t here.”
“So, what do you say about me changing too, Lucas?” I watched as Ash sauntered across the room, taking a seat in Lucas’ lap despite the bed being right in front of her. She wiggled her brows. “I’d like to be a furry too.”
“No.” Lucas deadpanned, wrapping his hand around her waist as he reclined in the chair.
“I will change just for you.”
“No.”
“I shouldn’t?”
“No.”
“Then, are you saying you like me as I am?”
“No.”
I couldn’t stop myself from snickering. “You sound pitiful.”
“You’re the pitiful one. Hurry up and go do the tests before your man gets back.” She waved me off, glaring. “We’re waiting.”
Oh!
I glanced down at the bag in my hand and felt my anxiety immediately kick right back in.
For fuck sakes!
When I step into that bathroom, what should I be hoping for? Positive or negative?