Chapter 67: Night Full of Grief
Fera’s POV
A hard slap planted on her left cheek, ‘Shameful! Haven’t I told you to take care of our name?’ That memory would never leave her alone. She would bow her head and say sorry.
‘Protect our name,’
‘Make our family proud,’
‘You are Fuentes, act as it.’
Words that she had been holding since then, she was tired of those rules and limitations. Deafening her in her dreams.
“I’m sorry, dad. I should have protected your name. They dug up all that past we hid.” The angry face of her father was in her head. She could hear her father’s voice all over again, he was mad, very mad, and would slap her across her face.
‘Careless,’
‘Weak!’
‘Does crying will fix a thing?’ His words were hunting her, she buried her face in her pillows. The annoying beep beside her added frustrates her more.
The pain still felt the same, it was the same pain when she realized that her mother was dead and her father died. Fate had been playing her life too much.
“Fera,” she stopped, she made sure that she heard another voice. She removed the pillow on her face and looked around. “I knew it,” she saw a familiar building and looked up at him.
“Nick,” her broken voice managed to utter his name.
“Yeah, I know you’d cry as you wake up,” said he. He walked closer and pulled her in a hug. “Shh, it’s alright.”
“Nothing is alright, Nick. You don’t understand.” She tried to push him away but she was too weak to push him harder.
“I do, I do understand the pressure, pain, and disappointment you feel for yourself. It’s fine, it’s alright.” She cried hard as she gave up and hug Nick.
“You know what, being scared of failing is the true failure, cause you did nothing. You fail to do it. You are afraid to cross his rules, you are afraid to disappoint him but you disappoint him more when you did nothing.” He said while caressing her back.
“That’s not the point here, I ruin his name. I ruined his reputation, their reputation. I failed to protect my family’s name. Fuentes would be all over the newspaper again, probably on television or social media.”
“No, no one ruins his name but him. You did your part, you did enough.”
“I did not, that should be hidden, my father was a prominent lawyer but not his name was low as dirt, because I failed to protect him, our name.” He carried her like a baby and played a slow song.
“You are missing something in here but let it be for now. Rest, you had a long day.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. “Close your eyes.” He whispered and she did.
“Block all your thoughts and listen to the music.” He said and started swaying.
“What people think of you isn’t your problem,” he whispered in her ears.
“You are who you are, your father was not in a good state when he said those words, the man that said that wasn’t your dad, it was drugs. He did not kill your mother, drugs did. He will always be proud of you. Every parent does.” He kissed her in her hair.
“Thank you,”
“Anything for you.”
“You’re leaving, right?” She asked after she calmed down.
“No, I’ll sleep here but I’ll be out early.” She hugged him tighter and smelled his scent.
“I mean you’re flying out of the country.”
“Yes, Lola Clarita wanted me to study abroad. But I can stay if you want me to.”
“No, I want you to leave. They want you out of the country for a reason.” Her heart went heavier than earlier but she got it to manage.
“Don’t you want me to hear? It’s over, right? You have been vindicated. That means the danger was over.” She faced him and stared at his face. A small smile drew on her lips and shook her head.
“The war is approaching. I thought I could escape it through the death penalty.” Worry plastered on his face.
“Then I must stay-” she placed her finger between his lips.
“You have to worry nothing.” Her stares went to his lips. “You are right, I have been afraid to cross his rules. When he had given me the right to create my own rules. When I can do whatever I wanted. I hide nothing now. I have nothing to be scared of now. I will be alright.”
“Underestimating you was a huge mistake indeed.” She let out a genuine smile and touched his face.
“I know.”
“I want you to know that the facade you made was still you. It was the real you without fear. Never looked down on yourself. You are greater than anyone.” She nodded and hugged him again.
‘But I love the feeling that I am a normal girl in your arms. I felt normal around you,’ she spoke in her mind. She couldn’t say it to him but she meant it.
“I will miss you.”
“I will miss you more.”
“I want you to leave now.” He suddenly stopped swaying. She faced him again and kissed him. She was about to pull away when she pulled her back. She responded willingly but a phone rang. He didn’t stop and took the phone out of his pocket and threw it away.
He carried her to the hospital bed but the phone rang again so she pulled out.
“That must be very important.” She said so he put her down and pick the phone up.
‘Where are you, Kingston?’ voice of his grandmother was beyond mad. It seemed like anytime she would break the phone she was holding.
“Out for a walk, why?”
‘In the middle of the night, really? Who are you fooling here? Where are you?’ He scratched his head and looked at Fera.
“In the hospital…to visit Fera.”
‘You dimwit! Give the phone to Fera.” He handed it to her but she was hesitant upon accepting it yet eventually did.
“Mrs. Hernandez.”
“Honey, how are you? And one thing, haven’t I told you to call me Lola Clarita?” She felt at ease when she heard her say that. At least the lady didn’t change her treatment towards her.
“I’m not so fine but I’ll be better. I only need a little rest.” She answered while Nick was holding her hand while a huge smile.
“Sorry to hear that, I hope I can help. Anyway, did Nick have…Uhm.” She looked up to Nick again and stretched a tight smile.
“Bid goodbye? He already did.”
“I hope you understand, this is not that I don’t allow you to be together. You know you guys are still young and it’s not yet the right time to be serious you know. I want Nick to reach his goals so as you are.” She couldn’t help to nod even if she couldn’t see her.
“I understand, I couldn’t deny the complications going on too. I wouldn’t want Nick to get involved in anything.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I will miss you, honey. I hope I could bid my goodbye personally.”
“I will miss you too, Lola.”
“Okay, I will let you two talk for a while but Nick needs to go home today. Our flight has switched to earlier.”
“Okay, thank you.” She cut the call and she saw Nick with a teary eye.
“Are you going to cry?” She mockingly smiled at him.
“No, but I am hurt that you easily let me go.” She stood and kissed his forehead.
“I don’t know what the future holds, I just know that you can’t be here with me and I need to let you go.”
“Why?”
“Go and chase your dreams, I’ll be focusing on mine. I love you and you love me but this just can’t for now.” He sniffed and looked down.
“Okay,” he whispered and pulled her closer. “Whatever you are going to say, I don’t want to hear it. Before I leave can you promise me something?”
“It depends.”
“Promise that you’re mine.” She let out a chuckle, while he was serious and didn’t even blink waiting for her to promise.
“We’re not that immature for that.”
“Just promise me.” He insisted so she raised her hands as if submitting.
“All yours, I promise.”