Olivia
I was shocked.
I never expected Blake would say that.
You.
He wanted me? Why? He was the one who threw me away and he wanted me back? Was he playing with me? Blake would never want me again. He said that two years ago.
I tried to stay calm. Adjusting my breathing and then returned my gaze to him. “I thought you’re the one who don’t want me anymore. You threw me away,” I coldly said.
“Don’t say I threw you away.”
“Because that’s how I feel.” I scoffed. Mentally laughed at his words. “I don’t understand you, Blake. Are you lonely now because you’re living alone? And you want me back just to overcome that loneliness of yours? If that’s the case, I suggest you look for a girlfriend. I told you that two years ago, now I’m telling you again. So, please. Don’t bother me again.”
Blake was silent. He was speechless because of my action. Well, sorry. I was not the same sixteen-year-old girl he could fool around with. And by the time, our dishes came. I had lost my appetite. “Um, can you please wrap mine? I’ll bring it home,” I asked the waitress.
She nodded her head and smiled gently. “Don’t,” Blake suddenly said and she looked at him. Her eyes went back to me, disoriented on who she should be listening to. “Please, Olivia. Don’t walk away from me,” he begged. Blake just practically begged at me. “Please, put the dishes down. We’ll eat here.” I just lost. Just like that. The waitress chose to listen to him rather than me. Damn him.
She put down our steaks and walked away. She better be. Good thing she was smart unlike the waitress before. Maybe she could realize the ticking bomb from Blake. But I had lost my appetite. No matter Blake would explain it now or later; I refused to eat. The delicious steak had become nothing to me.
“Eat, Olivia. We can talk after.”
“I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Look, I’m sorry about my sudden confession but I promise I will talk if you eat first. I already made a promise to Cindy to take you home as long as you’ve eaten already. Please, Olivia.” He chuckled nervously. “I refuse to face Cindy’s wrath if I took you home and she found out you hadn’t eaten.”
I really didn’t want to eat. I better went home and sleep for a whole night. I could lie to Cindy that I had eaten and he didn’t need to worry about it.
But maybe a few bites wouldn’t hurt. And the good side of me refused to have him get beaten by Cindy’s mouth. The lovely stepmother of mine was so straight-forward practically at…everything. Just like her brother.
I ate at the end and I could see a slight smile from him and he ate as well. “You better explain.”
“I will.”
We ate in silence. We didn’t talk. Blake did not mind with it. He was like being careful at me. I looked at him and I saw there were no changes in him. He was still handsome, as usual. His hair was still dark, there was no sign of gray hair. How old was he again this year? Thirty-seven? Man, that was old. He would be forty in the next three years. And he had no intention of looking for a wife? Was it me? I was the cause? He wanted me more rather than looking for a perfect wife for his life? I was just…a child to him. He should realize that.
After we finished our dinner, Blake as usual paid for everything and we walked out of the restaurant. We entered his car and headed home. Time for some interrogation.
“Are you going to talk now?” I started.
“How about after we reached your home?” I rolled my eyes. He was stalling time. This was so not him. Like at all.
“We can talk in front of my house.” That was it. I made sure there was no room for discussion. Just in case Blake started to do something crazy, at least I was near my house. I could scream or just got out of his car and ran inside. At this hour, I was sure dad was already at home. As long he was not sleeping yet.
We spent the rest of my way home without any topic to talk about. I just wanted to hear his reason for saying he wanted me. For two years, I learned to block the pain because of him. I changed almost everything.
Changing the way I looked.
My clothing.
Learning something new.
Everything I did because I didn’t want to remember him anymore. I wanted to move forward and possibly getting a proper boyfriend. A normal one. Not an ex-stepfather.
“You changed your hair,” he suddenly commented. I turned to him slightly but he wasn’t looking at me.
“Um, yeah. I wanted to try a new look.” I didn’t ask him if this style looked good on me.
“You look beautiful, but I like the previous you,” he said. Well, Blake used to say that he liked natural. Good thing I forgot about that and changed my hair.
“Thanks, but I should remind you again that you have no place to forbid me. It’s my hair and I can do anything I like with it.”
He smirked. “You’re very daring now.” I didn’t say anything because everything that changed about me…was all because of him. I was sure he aware of it. He didn’t need to ask why I was being like this.
We had finally arrived at my house. Blake parked his Aston Martin right in front of the gate. He kept his promise to talk in front of my house. I looked at him but his eyes were still fixed on the dark road in front of him. “So? Let’s talk.”
Blake shifted and he finally turned to me. “Olivia, I did that because of you.” I wrinkled my eyebrows. Me? Why? “Think about it. If we’re together, society will not accept it and you will end up getting hurt. I don’t want that and I want you to be happy. At first, I thought you should end up with someone else. I wanted to protect you, and I thought by dropping my adoption on you and letting you go to someone else is the only solution. But,” he paused as he inhaled and exhaled deeply. His blue eyes returned to me. “It makes me even crazier just to think about it.”
“What…do you mean?”
He moved his body slightly closer to me but I moved back automatically. “I couldn’t bear watching you with someone else.” My heart suddenly pounded hard. I was not sure if I was ready to listen to him. “Two years ago, you were my daughter.” No, Blake. Stop. “Now you are not, and I want you.”
“You’re my uncle now, Blake. You can’t have me.”
“Do you still want me?” That’s when I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t answer. I didn’t know if I still wanted him or not. This man hurt and broke me. There’s no way I wanted him in my life. I couldn’t think further when I heard him scoffed. “You want me, little girl.”
My eyes widened a bit. “I am not.”
“Liar. I can see it in your eyes. So glassy and transparent.”
“You don’t know me anymore.”
“I know.”
It’s my turn to scoff. “You didn’t see me every day like before, Blake.”
“I do.” His answer dropped my smile. Before I could ask him anything, something hit my mind. John appeared so suddenly a few days ago. And what Blake did before when he learned I was bullied.
“Are you stalking me again?”
“Yes,” he replied quickly. Like he was not ashamed of what he did.
“Why?”
“I told you, you made me crazy. I need to know if you are safe under Taylor’s care. I couldn’t bear having you out of my sight.”
“Oh, my God, Blake.” He was crazy. I remembered he put bugs on my bag so he could listen to whatever I was talking about or what’s going on with me. And now he was stalking me everywhere I go?
“But today, I know you’re going to Premium Soul because Cindy told me not because I was following you right after you walked away from the house.” I couldn’t do this. Blake became mad right after I left him and I was not sure I could handle him.
“You’re just obsessed with me, Blake.”
“You’re wrong.”
“No, I’m not. You know what?” I paused and grabbed the door handle. My eyes returned to him. “Now I’m feeling grateful because you let me go. Now I know with me beside you, you will go crazy.”
I was ready to get out until he stopped me. “I like being crazy over you, Olivia.”
“I don’t feel like it. You need help, Blake. And you better get one but I can’t do it to you.” I was about to open the door until Blake’s strong arm wrapped around my elbow, holding me in place but I didn’t look at him.
“I only need you, Olivia.”
“Let me go, Blake.”
“And you need me as well.”
“I don’t need you. I can do everything by myself.”
“You’re lying. Do I have to remind you that you suck at lying?” His mocking captured my attention as I turned to him angrily.
“You don’t fucking know me anymore!” Blake suddenly pulled me harshly towards me and immediately crushed my lips with his. My mind instantly went back to our moment back in Four Seasons.
His kisses. His touches. His scent wrapped around me. His warm breath surrounded me. The night where he made me lost my senses and only concentrated on him. That night, he made me want him. He made me sin together with him. The night where we almost crossed the line together. The moment where I wanted to abandon everything I had built so I could be together with him. That’s how much I wanted him that night.
His kiss brought back a lot of memories. I still remembered how it felt. How it tasted. How warm his lips. Every single of it.
“Olivia,” he whispered seductively. Immediately bringing me back to reality and pushed him away from me. He looked surprised by my action.
“I don’t want you anymore! You’re my uncle and I will never cross the line with my family!” I shouted as I could see the hurt in his stoic face. I had to do it. I had to make him understand. “I’m not the one for you. I don’t love you.” His face was hurting more. He was paralyzed in his seat. I used this chance to get out of the car and ran towards the house. Without looking back, I went inside and closed the door.
My heart was still pounding madly as I laid my back on the door. “How could he do that to me?”
“Olivia?” I heard dad’s voice from the front as he walked to the door, already wearing his white T-shirt and indigo sweatpants. “What happened?” he asked worriedly.
“Nothing. I’m okay,” I said, trying to look fine where I was not. “I’m just tired.”
“If you say so. Where’s Blake?”
“He went home.” I walked to him and kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, dad.”
He turned to me and kissed my forehead. “Goodnight, kiddo.” I went to my room and immediately slumped myself to the soft mattress.
Fuck you, Blake for kissing me.
And I went to sleep, just like that.