Olivia
The situation was getting awkward.
I couldn’t believe I was currently with Mr. Graham aka my father. I never expected to see him again. I thought he had gone back to Seattle. But here he was. Walking in the garden while eating an ice cream cone. He treated me one before we came here.
Cindy said he wanted to talk to me and it made to wonder what he wanted to talk about. There must be a lot he wanted to say and he was confused about where to start.
“You like chocolate?” he suddenly asked, bringing me out of my trance.
“Um, y-yes. I like them, particularly the milk chocolate one,” I replied and he smirked. What? Did I say something weird?
He looked at his chocolate mint ice cream. “Chloe loved it too.” He made it even more awkward when he mentioned my mother. I was just the same. There was so much I wanted to talk about. “Can we sit on the bench over there?” Okay, here goes.
“Sure.” We walked towards the bench and we finished the ice cream together. We sat on the bench but none of us were talking.
I was not expecting this. I wanted to talk with Blake, not with him. Which thankfully I had done it. But I was not satisfied at all. So, yeah. I wanted to talk with my step-father, not my biological father. I had to finish this so I could talk properly with Blake. “Um, is there something you want to talk about?” I asked without looking at him.
He smirked. Jeez, couldn’t he stop that? “I guess you wanted to walk away from me quickly.”
“That’s…normal, right? Especially to a person who had abandoned his child.” My tone sounded cold. I didn’t do anything wrong.
“Well, you have the right to be like that. A mere apology won’t be enough.” Damn, right.
“I just can’t understand why. I mean, if you don’t want a child, he shouldn’t have sex with my mother.”
“We were young and reckless, Olivia.”
This time, I was the one who smirked. “At least my mother still willingly to raised me, unlike you who ran away.”
“I couldn’t deny that. And I know how you hate me.” I didn’t know if I was truly hating him. But I was disappointed for sure.
“I got bullied because of you before. Just because I don’t have a father.” I could feel his eyes on me. I turned to him and I could see some guilt from his brown eyes. “It was not very pleasant, even Blake had to step in,” I said. It was hard to hold back. True, Blake had to step in. He took care of it…brutally.
“I feel like shit now. I wasn’t supposed to do all of that. I hated myself for that. What I want to talk to you today…is what I had been doing while Chloe was pregnant with you. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I want you to listen first. Please?” he begged as I turned my eyes back to him.
Well, a little explanation wouldn’t hurt. “Okay.”
He smiled and then he started. “That night, Chloe and I were super drunk and we had sex without any contraception. We were not in the right mind to grab one and just go along the way. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences and I was from the family who would not accept that kind of scandal in our family.”
I scoffed. I couldn’t believe he just said that. I was a scandal to him and his family? What a moment.
“I was scared so I made the worst decision by making Blake the bad guy and ran away. When I was back with my family, I thought back to what I had done. I ruined my friendship with Blake and Chloe that I had built,” he paused and he looked down. “I loved them so much. They were the only friends I had. I never had friends because my family always limiting the people who wanted to be close to me. Only those who got approval from my parents. I can see Blake and Chloe truly wanted to be my friends for what of me, not my money and my name.”
Although I was supposed to hate him, I had every reason to, but…
When he was talking about Blake and my mother, his tone changed. I could see he was ready to cry but he held it back.
“I made a decision that I wanted to see you but my father forbid me. Threatening me that he will do something to you which I can’t have. It took me a couple of years until I decided to let go of my surname and started a brand-new life as Taylor Graham.”
“Graham is not your real surname?”
“No, I used to me McCartney but not anymore. I never talked with my parents anymore. I had abandoned them. After I left my family, my life changed. Everything is not easy for me anymore. But my reunion with Cindy changed it all. She’s like…my savior,” he stated. Even from his side, his cheeks blushed a bit and some sparkle of love could be seen from his eyes.
He loved her dearly.
“Even without me asking, sometimes Cindy would tell me how you were doing. Although I couldn’t have you with me, I’m glad that Blake takes good care of you. Maybe we’re not meant to be together as a father and daughter but Cindy insisted on Blake that he should tell you. I didn’t really approve of that because I know you hate me and it’s best if I don’t exist in your life. When I met you here, I have to admit that I didn’t realize that you are my flesh and blood but I did realize that you look the same as Chloe but I thought that’s impossible. Everything became clear when Blake showed up.”
Maybe that was obvious because we never spend time together. Hell, I didn’t even know how he looked like before.
“But why you didn’t show any emotion or do something when you learned I was there?”
“I thought I don’t deserve you.”
“That doesn’t explain anything, why? You were running away again, weren’t you?”
“I was scared if you found out, you will ask me a lot of questions.” Jesus Christ!
I was pissed. “You know what? I’m sick with people running away from me without listening to my explanation or unable to explain something to me. I deserved an explanation. In my mind, you have abandoned me.”
“It’s obvious if you considered me have abandoned you. I’m really sorry about that. I know an apology won’t be enough but I apologized for everything, Olivia. I really do,” he said while looking at me. His tone was full of guilt. His eyes were full of pain. He looked…so broken.
“I want to ask something else. Why you never visit my mother’s grave?”
“I came to visit but I just never put any flowers,” he admitted. “I’m living the image you and Blake are thinking about so I never show any good sides of me to you two.”
“Good sides, huh?”
“I’m not going to push you to trust me.”
“No.” I shook my head and looked at him. “I trust you. For now.” He didn’t say anything but he smiled wide. Like he was happy by knowing that I trusted him.
We were in silent mode.
Now I knew his reasons. It won’t change anything but at least he talked and I listened. Just one more thing.
“There’s something else I want to say to you. I used to think that you hated me. Maybe you thought that I was a mistake. You never loved me and my mother.” My eyes became warm. Tears came out from it.
“I never hate you.”
“But you told me that you never had a child of your own! That just proves you don’t want me at all,” I countered. I still remembered his words and that was the cause of my breakdown a few days ago.
“I’m sorry for saying that. I thought it’s true since I never held you since your birth. I never spoiled or do anything as a father to you,” he reasoned.
“You could at least tell me that you have one but you’re living separately with her.”
He chuckled. “I guess you’re right. Stupid me.”
“You’re right. You are stupid.” And he laughed. It was supposed to be an insult but he found it funny. Really stupid.
“I apologized for that. I made a lot of mistakes but I want to fix them. That’s what I told Chloe in her grave,” he said and I looked up back at him again.
“What did you say to her?” I asked and he wiped my tears with his thumb. He looked directly into my eyes.
“I want us to start over, as a family. I want you to live with me as a family. As my daughter.”