THREE DAYS AFTER Mama Cha and I had disagreed, everything seemed to return to normal. She greets me happily, we dine together once more, and we repeat the same old routines.
But, I must confess, not like previously. There is no longer any warmth, tenderness, or any indication that our connection is more than meets the eye. I have trouble controlling myself at times. I wanted to hug and kiss her, but she wouldn’t let me. She seems to be reviving our old company. That’s fine with me… I’d rather prefer she act this way than ignore me. I’ll just keep it that way as long as I can see her and be near her.
Trina and I have already spoken, and we have gone over everything. Trina still refuses to marry because she is still young, but she will not let me leave her. Mama Cha and I discussed it. She pleaded with me to do it for the kid. I listened to her, but I refused to leave the house; Trina would be living with me. Mama Cha agreed and vowed not to leave until Trina gave birth. I could tell she was pleased. I could see she was looking forward to seeing my future son.
I’m not sure if what she’s saying is true or if she’s just saying it to keep me from thinking about it. I still get the impression that she is jealous, especially when Trina is there. Now I’m cleaning up the room in preparation for Trina’s arrival and two-week stay. Ben and Nick assisted me with repairing it.
“You might be able to fit into the bed if she sleeps on top of you! Hahaha!” Nick laughed again.
“She’s rich! You think your wife will last here? ” Ben cried out.
Trina is equally stunning. She is partly Pakistani, so she has a white Latina appearance. She is attractive and wealthy since her parents are wealthy people, and she has a little business in the Philippines; like me, she became financially independent at a young age.
While tidying up, Mama Cha suddenly came out of her room wearing her floral dress matching her favorite red Chuck Tay.
“Hi, Aunt Cha!” Ben greeted her immediately.
She just smiled at him and then went straight downstairs.
“Isn’t Aunt Cha so lovely? Can I court her now, Clint, since you’ve broken up? I’m already twenty-seven and have some money too! I’ve had a crush on Aunt Cha for a long time, since college! ” Nick said.
I saw Ben looking at me.
“Is there anything wrong with that? I could be a good boyfriend!” Nick said again.
“Does this hammer hurt?” I asked as I held up the hammer to Nick.
“I’m serious, Clint!” Nick exclaimed. “I wanted to do that a long time ago!”
“You stop it, Nick!” Ben shouted. Then.. “I’m just wondering… How are you doing now? I mean, are you still talking like before? Is she not mad anymore? ”
“I don’t know! But I’m happy because it seems like it’s somehow going back to normal. She talks to me like before. ”
“Clint, what about when Trina is here?”
“It’s okay, Ben, same as normal too! ”
“Well, good luck with that,” Nick teased.
“I love Mama Cha so much, Ben, and I won’t let her leave here. I’ll be with Trina only for the child, but I’ll never love her since I only love one woman! I’ll just let Trina give up and quit!” I said.
“That’s hard! It’s hard! ” Ben said, shrugging.
“You can’t say that anymore, Clint, when you’ve seen your child, sure of it!” Nick said, smirking.
“But Mama Cha is the one I love. That can’t be changed.”
“Yes, Clint! But Aunt Cha came to a halt. Maybe you need to respect that. Maybe that means something,” said Ben.
“And! You’re not sure if she’s going to stay here; it’s hard for her to do that while you’re with Trina. ” Nick said, seriously.
I just stared at him for an answer.
CHARI’S POV
Two more weeks!
I’m getting bored. I want to leave here, and I need to be gone before another month comes.
Clint is flying to Japan next week. Maybe I’ll simply have to put up with the three of us. Clint’s face is still something I want to see. Those sneaky wide eyes, those silly smiles of his. When I imagine what our baby will look like, I find myself smiling everywhere.
I adore Clint, and that will never change. Even if I leave, I will never forget him, and I have no intention of finding another man. When the baby was born-It was like I was starting again. It was the same when Clint and I were just two. I will take care of him. I will send him to school until he grows up as well as I did with his father. I can still do it. I’m only thirty, and I still have some savings somehow.
When he discovers that I’ve already sold the coffee shop, that will certainly surprise him. I’ll provide him with everything he needs for his future child because a dancer’s job isn’t always that good, but Clint’s personality makes me believe he won’t lose interest. I’m confident that everything will work out and that he will be a good parent and husband to Trina.
“Chari, why are you repeating that to yourself? Why speak as if you’re not carrying his child? ” I grumbled.
Trina is already there, so I don’t feel like going home tonight. Maybe I’ll just sleep in the coffee shop and get some things later. Then I guess I’ll wait in the shop while the documents are organized, in the hopes of avoiding them. I need to be gone for two weeks.
Two weeks…
Two more weeks and I won’t be able to see his face anymore.
Why am I torturing myself?
I’m not obligated to do this if I don’t want to. Perhaps my heart is simply overly soft. I am aware that not everything will be easy; becoming pregnant on your own, without a husband to care for, provide necessities for, and being with you as the baby grows, may be difficult. I’m not sure how, but I’m not that stupid to be incapable of learning anything.
I’m a girl… A woman… I can do it!
Maybe it’s easy to be a mother. I get excited when I think that I will be having my first child. I will be a parent soon! I was currently standing outside our gate, smiling and looking away, when Clint suddenly appeared.
“Why, Ma? What’s wrong? Not feeling well again? Hmmn? ” Clint said, who was already standing behind me.
“Ha? Ah! Yes! No! ” I said quickly. I fixed myself. Open the car door.
“Where are you going? Huh? Can I take you there, Ma! Let me drive. ”
“Ah! no!! I’m going somewhere else! ” I cried out.
He approached me. He closed the car door and took the key from me.
“All right, Ma. I know you’re not going anywhere else, you’re just avoiding me. ” He turned to the other car door. Sit in the driver’s seat.
“Come on, Ma! Let’s eat! ” He shouted.
He started the car.
I’m not sure why I appear to be happy; I want to turn around and go back inside, but my feet are resisting. I simply smiled because of the admiration in his gaze, as well as the fact that he was very handsome at that moment. He was dressed in only black denim shorts, a black striped t-shirt, black All-Star low-cut shoes, and a closed black cap… So simple, but it had such an impact on me. Is it just that I’m so in love with him? Or?
I can’t deny that I’m in love with Clint and that I’m falling even more in love with him as time passes. The more I put up with him, the more I grew fond of him.
“Ma! Come on! Let’s go to our favorite place! ” Clint called.
I let out a deep breath.
Toot! tooooot!
“Hey! Noisy! ” I said.
He opened the car door where I was facing.
“Come on, I won’t bite you. Promise!” He said once, winking at me, followed by a silly smile.
Here are these f**kin’ feelings again. I want to refuse, but I can’t because-I also don’t want to.
I have to admit that I miss Clint too. It’s also been a long time since we last shared an intimate moment and I’m mad at him during those times. I’m not denying that I missed his kiss and everything about him.
And later on,
“Come on, Ma! Let’s eat… We haven’t eaten together for a long time. Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss eating with me? I miss it so much! So much…” He said, followed by the squinting of his eyes, which he often did while biting his lower lip. He’s like this often when he’s in sweetness mode. He’ll say we’re going to eat, which means, you know, we’re going to eat something else. It means we need to release something.
And again,
I found myself craving him as well.
June_Thirteen