Sabrina’s POV
Xander places me on his bed. I didn’t even feel him pick me up and carry me all the way here.
“I heard.” He says to me and I look at him, the pain was in his eyes too. He was hurting because I was hurting.. it broke him to see me like this.
“Everything?” I ask and he nods his head yes, gently taking my hand in his.
“I’m so sorry Sabrina.” Xander says to me before pulling me in for a hug, his scent giving me the much needed comfort.
Once again my saviour.. always there when I’m in pain.
“I’m sorry I did not come to you sooner.” He apologizes again.
I wipe away the tears from my face, finding the courage to really look at him and open up honestly.
“You had a near death experience. You were with your mate, who am I to disturb all of that?” I ask, trying to lighten up the mood but failing as Xander doesn’t smile.
“Yeah..” He says, somehow lost in thought before coming back to me.
“I had to let her go.” He says to me. Standing up and walking to close the door then turning around to face me.
“What do you mean?” I ask him.
“Sabrina, she’s not the woman for me, you are and if you could stop trying to fix us by fixing me! I did not ask for someone to forget you.. you decided that on your own.” Xander says to me and I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
Xander walks back to me, kneeling down in front of me and looking in to my eyes.
“I’m sorry. Look, I can never love her, not fully anyway. It isn’t fair to her to keep her around. Why must she play second? I am not the man for her and deep down, she knew it and we both had to accept that. She knew it all too well but we both wanted to respectfully pursue a relationship for this sacred law bullshit and it made us miserable. For the first time since we were thrown together, we talked. She brought me back, that’s true but you could have done the job too Sabrina.” Xander says to me.
“What are you saying?” I ask him.
“We finally got to know each other, really talk it out and she has accepted the fact that my heart is yours. I came clean and told her I could not string her along just like that for the sake of bringing an heir. I’m not that heartless and I’ve seen a woman in pain, I will not be that man to her. I refuse to be that man to anyone.” Xander says to me and I nod in understanding, remembering that I was the woman in pain.
He stands up, runs his fingers through his hair and looks at me.
“I love you Sabrina. I knew it when I was very much alive, I knew it when I was so close to death and I choose to love you. To continously love you even if it’s from afar… I believe we were meant to be. I get it, there’s a whole true mate somewhere but what about him? All he’s done is bring havoc and pain in to your life. Maybe you both needed to actually grow up together to better understand each other to really be each other’s true mate but you didn’t. His upbringing and yours clash so loudly, his way of handling things and yours… well I don’t have to say that out loud.” Xander says and I chuckle.
“We are different, that’s true but I can’t change the fact that we are mated.” I say.
“Who says you need to change it? That’s life! You two were brought together for a reason and it is clear you will always bump heads… some couples get that kind of deal and I guess being a god doesn’t exempt you from such a life. There is a reason you two are together, maybe it’s to gain the trust from the people of this realm seeing how easily he was able to start a revolution against you, he’s the favorite. Maybe it’s to tie you to this place, seeing as you’re more an earthling than a god. You are ruled by values that most of us live by but that does not seem to be the core values here.. here, it’s power and back at home, it is all about family. Your daughter needs to be from him so this world and ours gets a moon goddess after you and maybe that’s the most important reason… maybe love is not the end goal for this realm, it’s allowed but not important and maybe that’s where you clash. He wants to love you, he probably does already but there are far more important things to him than bringing you roses every Monday.” Xander says and I look at him funny.
“No, that’s not it.” I say, Aiden loves me. It’s just as important to him as it is to me.
“How else will the next moon goddess come to be? Was the last moon goddess happy? Did she die happy? Was she able to find her happily ever after?” Xander asks and I remain silent.
Was this my life?
My job is to bring others happiness as I pair them with the love of their lives and bless their unions with a child but my life, was it really possible that I could live an unhappy life? That it would be my sacrifice for the sake of others?
“Look, I’m not saying you deserve to be unhappy. I’m just saying, that could be the life that’s here for you. It just doesn’t have to be the only life for you. Here, you’re destined for a long life, a very long one and that’s great. You could also have a life with me… I know I can make you happy, I’ve seen it with my own eyes and I know there is still a place for me in your heart.” Xander says and I stand up to create some space between us.
“What are you saying?” I ask him.. knowing full well what he was asking for.
“Sabrina, I can’t allow you to live such a miserable life. A life without real joy and happiness? I mean, with your family here I’m sure there will be little moments of joy and laughter from time to time but I want you to think of me and smile, just the thought of me should bring you happiness and the excitement to be with me as you watch me grow old while you stay this way, in your sexy state… of which I will never complain although it will be weird when I’m all grey and you’re still you but we will cross that bridge when we get there.” Xander says, walking up to me and taking my hands in to his.
“Xander, I can’t toy with you both.” I say and he smiles at me.
“Sabrina, let me be the love you need. I know I can do it and I know you want it. I won’t live a life without you , I refuse it and with everything you’re going through, how do I stay away? How do I live my life pretending everything is fine when I know you’re hurting? I can’t be happy when you’re not. You brighten up my life Sabrina and I lost myself when I lost you. I said I’ll commit to you and my soul can never break away from yours, my heart will forever be yours. There is no way I will live this life without you as mine.” Xander professes, the sincerity in his voice bringing me to tears.
Seconds pass by as we look in to each other’s eyes…
“I want to be the partner you need. I want us to try work together and find a way forward, this world needs us together and the future depends on it. I can’t pretend that I don’t love you, I do. I know I hurt you Sabrina, I know I wronged you and our child… let me make this right. Our job is not an easy one but we don’t have a choice but to see it through and I’m willing if you are. I know we can build something, I know we can find a meeting point and go through life together from there. Allow me to make things right please, give me the time to win you over once again and help you build a realm we both will be proud of. I promise to only focus on the job at hand and nothing else. I promise to focus on you and be the help you need for as long as we are here. I know I can do it, if you let me.” A voice I know to be Aiden’s says behind me.
I quickly turn around and I see his face, looking at me with sadness.
“Aiden…” I say…
I look back at Xander, who appeared to not be surprised at all by Aiden’s presence