Luca’s pov
It was clear as day that this particular topic has been troubling Sofia for a while now. I could tell from how she was wringing her fingers.
I lifted her fingers and brushed my lips across it, and then I let out a long sigh.
“If I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t actually thought about it. I just assumed you don’t want them and I was cool with that.”
Her eyes widened comically as she whispered. “But… I want children.”
I hummed. “I see that now.”
“You don’t want children?” Sofia asked after a few moments and I slowly shook my head.
“I don’t think I do, cause I don’t actually like the thought of bringing a child into a lifestyle as dangerous as my current one, and leaving the mafia is completely out of the question cause the past would end up catching up with me no matter what.”
“Oh.” She whispered while chewing at the inside of her mouth.
“Yes, love. But, that aside, I love babies. They’re always so cute and clueless of all the evils in the world.”
Sofia laughed at that. “I know, right? That’s why I want one.”
I traced her knuckles with my thumb, mind wandering for a few minutes before I spoke.
“What do you think about getting checked out by a doctor? So we’d know what the problem is. You want that, don’t you?”
Her eyes widened and twinkled and she nodded vigorously.
“I do! So damn much. It’s been on my mind for a while now.” She admitted and I laughed as I kissed her fingers once again.
“I could tell, love. I could tell.”
~~~
My father was never a good father to his children. He traumatized Armani more than he did me, and I wished I had killed him myself before he caused more damage to my brother and I. I wished I had killed him before he got to kill mother.
I reached down and brushed Sofia’s hair out of her face. She was laying on a bed in the hospital, stomach bare while a doctor was attending to her. I gave her an encouraging smile once our eyes met and she squeezed on my fingers in return.
The doctors had to reassure me that it was gonna be painless for her and wouldn’t harm her in any way, because somehow, I still wasn’t over that fear of losing her that consumed me on that unfortunate night where she had gotten shot in the stomach.
After an ambulance arrived, I held her throughout till we got to the hospital, then I demanded that their best doctor be brought to me, whom I threatened to ruin should a thing go wrong with my wife. I knew I had traumatized the young doctor more than I had intended to, because two years after that scene occurred, he had flattered on seeing Sofia and I walking into the hospital today, which I had found a little hilarious.
After the test was carried out, we discovered that the bullet which she took to the stomach had affected her womb.
Sofia had busted into tears after that discovery and I had instantly engulfed her in a tight hug. Her slight body shook against me and I quietly shushed her while my heart ache from regret and anger. Regret because it had pained me immensely that she had been the one to take the bullet for me, when I could have easily taken it myself. And anger because I wished I could have gotten rid of Ryan long before he got to kidnap Sofia.
“It’s gonna be alright, okay?” I murmured quietly as I stroked my fingers through her hair, heart shattering at the feeling of her sobs intensifying.
“Is it?” She whispered tearfully and I hummed, making my voice as firm and certain as it can get.
I pulled her away from my chest and framed her face with my hands, tears were swimming in her eyes and her cheeks were very wet. Her lips wobbled as she whispered. “Am I gonna be b- barren?”
“Of course not. There’s definitely gonna be a solution, okay? I promise you.” I continued, wiping her tears off with a handkerchief. She sniffed after a few moments and glanced around the office, and that was when I noticed that we were alone. The Doctor definitely exited the office to give us some privacy.
Once Sofia was collected once again, we motioned for the doctor to return to their office, and once they were seated, they proceeded to give us the rest of the news.
Apparently the hit Sofia had gotten was pretty dangerous, but thankfully, a surgery could easily fix it.
But once I realized that the surgery was very dangerous and was more like a fifty/fifty chance, I was adamantly against it, meanwhile Sofia wanted to go ahead with it immediately.
“There’s no way you’re gonna go ahead with that. The chances of you surviving it is very slim.” I reminded her when she kept pestering me about it. She didn’t seem to care about the slim chances by her response.
“I’m quite strong! I’m sure I can survive it. I did survive that gunshot wound, didn’t I?”
I let out a sigh and she dropped the subject after that. But, at nighttime, she brought it up once again.
“I don’t wanna lose you because of this, okay? I definitely want a child, but not at the cost of losing you. We can adopt a child if you can’t have one and we treat them as ours, it’s not a big deal, okay?”
Sofia pouted.
“But I do want a child of my own. I’d like to adopt, to give a child or two a home of their own in the future. But firstly, I want one of my own. I want a child that looks like me or you, imagine how cool that’s gonna be!”
I reached for her waist and tugged her against me even more as I spoke.
“It’s definitely gonna be cool to have a mini you… but, not at the cost of your life.”
~~~
At the very last moment, I stood to question myself as to why I had ended up giving my consent to the surgery. Different scenarios began to crawl into my head as I watched her get injected with a liquid which would make her drowsy and numb. She didn’t look as nervous as I currently was. Instead, she looked quite eager to do it and get it over with.
I let out a sigh and sank into the spot beside her, hand reaching down to entwine with hers.
“You look very stressed.” She pointed out and I sighed once again.
“I’m starting to regret this.” I informed her truthfully and she rolled her eyes. “There’s no need to be, it’s gonna be fine!”
“You can’t be a hundred percent sure. I think I can still call this off before you get wheeled into the theater.” I murmured as I rose to my feet, but Sofia’s grip tightened on my wrist.
“Luca, please. We’ve come this far. Let’s just get it over with completely.”
I let out a resigned sigh as I sank to my seat once again. My mind had unable to be at rest since last night, when Sofia’s surgery date had finally arrived.
Her grip tightened on my hand and I closed my second hand around hers as another sigh eased from my chest.
“Please come back to me.” I murmured. Her eyes widened for a moment and she motioned me lower before brushing her lips across mine.
“I promise.” She whispered. “I love you.”
I tightened my hold on her hand and kissed her forehead.
“I love you more. So much more.”