Sofia’s pov
The weeks flew by faster than i could keep up with.
Healing was slower than I anticipated, and I hated almost every second of it, if I was being honest, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t willingly take another bullet for Luca if I could, because I will. Luca had gotten extremely displeased when I offhandedly said those same words to him, and he made me promise to never, ever do that again.
I stayed in the hospital for months, because Luca wanted me to be completely healed before getting discharged.
The flowers that got sent to me by every well wishers had gotten thrown out more than three times because at a point, they all began to rot.
A little gathering was thrown in celebration of my release from the hospital. Everybody was there waiting in the house as entered the house, from Kayla and her husband, Travis, to Armani and his girlfriend, Nala, to James and his fiancée, Blair, to Angelo.
It was relieving to finally be home and be surrounded by so much love right now made my heart feel overfilled in a very good way.
~~~
The days moved slowly after that. I was unable to do everything that I usually do, and that made me frustrated so much, but Luca was always there to make me feel better. To avoid him from beating himself and blaming himself for being unable to do things i could once do, I made sure to whine less about those discomforts.
Clearly the movies and books had lied about a gunshot wound healing in weeks. It’s been months and it still hurts till date.
Patience as I was told before getting discharged from thr hospital, was the key to a perfect recovery.
Once I stopped bothering myself with wanting to be healed up as fast as possible, I discovered that I healed faster when in that headspace.
In no time, the wound healed up without any complications and I was completely cleared by the hospital.
After that, my life pretty much return to its normal pace.
What still remained from the abduction which I experienced, was the trauma.
Somehow, that was never a problem for me back at the hospital until now that I had returned home.
After returning home, I felt too uncomfortable with having another set of bodyguards, and Luca easily understood how I felt, so for my own protection, I stay home a lot and only go out with Luca, or Angelo.
When I had discovered that Ethan had been killed my Ethan along with the other innocent people that Ryan had killed, it had made me feel sick down to stomach and it took days for me to stop thinking about it for a moment.
The trauma from the abduction was intense, way intense than I anticipated, but with Luca beside me, I believe I’d be able to easily deal with it.
~~~
Every aspect of the trauma from the abduction was easy to deal with, with Luca being with me every step of the way, just like I had anticipated.
Every aspect of it, expect one.
More times than i could count, I had been countless trapped in a dream featuring Ryan. In those dreams, i’m back to being his prisoner, being tied up and touched against my will by him. Those dreams were so bad that they always get too intense till I’d get woken up by Luca gently shaking me awake and kissing my tears away.
When I revealed how Ryan had handled me to Luca, he had gotten even angrier and had promised himself to prolong Ryan’s death even more.
At a point, he had asked if I’d like to go see Ryan and watch him pull the trigger on him if it would help me get some sort of closure, but I refused cause I had a feeling that was only gonna worsen the trauma, and of course Luca instantly agreed with me because the choice belonged to me after all.
After currently being woken from anorter nightmare yet, Luca handed me a cup of warm tea which I drank in silence. Once I was done, he scooped me into his arms and rocked me until I fell back asleep.
~~~
More weeks have passed and the nightmares has reduced drastically, which I was grateful about.
Now, I was stuck with my body tensing up from fear anytime I thought about doing anything sexual with Luca.
Last night, the Goodnight luca had given me had grown more intense than usual and because I had missed it so much, I hastily tugged him downwards and deepened the kiss. But it didn’t take long for me to start feeling like I was back in that room with Ryan.
When it happened over and over again, I knew that was undoubtedly a problem, because there was no way it hadn’t started to weird Luca out that I was always tensing up and being unable to continue what I initiated myself.
That thought was always sitting heavily in mind, along with guilt, and so one time, I tried convincing myself that I was fully ready to go all the way with it.
Halfway through it, I froze up and busted into tears.
Luca went into panic mode at once, frantically trying to figure out what was wrong, and it didn’t take too long for him to figure out what the problem was.
He let out a sigh as he pulled me into his arms. He tried to put a stern expression on as he spoke.
“Bunny, what did I say about forcing yourself about this when you know you’re still not ready?”
Annoyance and hurt bristle in my chest and I pulled away from him. “I don’t wanna wait forever! This is getting tiring, I wanna get it over with already!”
“That’s not healthy, you know that.” He reasoned, voice soft.
My chin jutted out as I spoke. “I don’t want you to get bored of me. What if I can’t ever relax? You’d go find someone else outside, and–”
Luca shot me up with a kiss. The kiss was light but still intense enough to make me shiver.
“It’s my fault for making you have doubts in me in the first place, and I’d forever keep trying to make it up to you, okay?” He murmured after reaching for my hand.
“I’m not gonna go somewhere else. I’m gonna stay here with you till this phase is over. We’re gonna overcome this together, promise?”
The tears came even before he finished talking and as I threw my arms around his shoulders, I sobbed into his shoulders uncontrollably, mind being overfilled with guilt and frustration.
“I’m not doubting you, I told you I’ve forgiven you and I meant it. I was just frustrated and feeling insecure, that’s all.”
Luca shushed me and kissed my face until I stopped crying, while reassuring me that it was gonna end up being alright since we have each other.
~~~
Starting to see a therapist was Luca’s idea, and it helped me out in more ways than I could imagine. It helped me unload so much weight I had been carrying since I was very young.
When Luca and I got to finally have sex for the first time in months, it was slow, passionate and literally perfect.
He cradled me like I was made of glass and kissed me like I was gonna break. There were so many emotions in his eyes as he entwined our hands while slowly thrusting into me, completely stealing my breath away and making my love for him intensify by a hundred folds.
Luca was the best there was, and I could never want for anything more.