Sofia’s pov
As I clung to Luca, his familiar scent which I’ve missed so much, surrounded every inch of my senses and made me melt even more against his hard, broad chest. I hadn’t even realized how much I’d missed being in his arms until he was pulling me into a hug after I had broken down.
It still hurt so much, right here in the middle of my chest, and that made me sob even harder because I kept wishing I didn’t care so much.
Even though I know Luca is definitely sincere with his apology, an insecure part of me would almost never be able to completely forget about this. The fact that I overthink on a normal day, made it even worse for me to just move away from it like it was nothing.
Luca’s fingers kept sliding through my strands and the feeling was so nice, it made me start to feel like jelly in his arms. Shamelessly, I pushed myself even more into his arms, because even though he was the one that had hurt me, I knew damn well that I had missed him so, so much.
Perhaps, that had been the reason why I had goaded him tonight, because I knew he was gonna fall for it.
That made me slowly pull away from his chest till I was blinking up at him. He didn’t release his hold on my lower back as he regarded me with beautiful, sincere eyes. I cleared my throat for a moment, fingers still clutching the materials of his shirt as I spoke.
“It’s funny how you believed I could actually sleep with someone else though.”
A pained look crossed Luca’s face at once. “I wasn’t thinking, I’m sorry, I know you aren’t a cheater.” He whispered and I remained silent after he was done speaking, choosing to just keep looking at him.
His eyes looked sunken, and his eye bags have become more prominent. It was obvious that he hasn’t been getting enough rest, telling from how stressed he is currently locked. Armani clearly wasn’t lying when he said Luca looked like a mess.
Although, that didn’t stop him from looking extremely good. Despite the tiredness in his eyes and his obvious lack of enough rest on his face, he still managed to look like a walking meal.
I bit on my bottom lip and averted my gaze from his for a moment. His grip on my back was solid and certain, his chest which I was still leaning against, was like an unbreakable wall. Those are a few of the hundreds of things I’ve missed about him.
Luca remained silent throughout the moment I spent deep in my thoughts, clearly giving me all the time I needed. After some time, I exhaled softly before glancing up at him.
I pulled away from him after that, putting a bit of space between us because of what I was gonna say next.
“Even though I end up forgiving you, it definitely wouldn’t feel the same.” I declared, eyes on the ground and arms locked around my middle as I spoke, because I didn’t wanna see the emotions that must have crossed his face when I spoke.
“I’d never be able to completely trust you like I used to, which is all your fault.”
When I glanced up at him after a few heartbeats, it was as if he was being tortured physically. I swallowed silently and averted my gaze with him once again.
“Sofia… I’m gonna make it up to you, okay? I promise you this one thing.” Luca’s voice broke the silence. He sounded honest and passionate as he began to close the distance between us.
He reached for my hands and gripped them in his and I had to stare up at him because he pulled my hands up and brushed his lips against them in light kisses.
“I’ll work on gaining your trust, I promise you that. I’ll gain your trust one hundred percent again and I won’t rest until I repair what I’ve harmed between us, I promise you this.”
My eyes watered a little as I gave him a couple of tentative nods, right as he leaned down and brushed his lips against my head in a light kiss, one which I’ve missed tremendously.
He tugged me into another hug after that, and I went easily because I’ve never been able to get enough of his hugs on a normal day. He murmured quiet words underneath his breath as he stroked my hair softly.
When we both settled on the couch minutes later, a thought successfully morphed in my mind, which soured my mind instantly and made a scowl settle on my face.
Luca was currently unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirts when I began to speak.
“What’s the guarantee that this wouldn’t happen again though? I have no guarantee that this sort of mistake wouldn’t happen again.”
Luca appeared startled at first, and then he reached for my hand but I pulled away from his reach.
“Sofia…” he breathed out but I ignored him.
“It’s the truth, you know it is. It’s a valid question, and a valid fear. How am I sure you won’t go fuck some girl whenever you get bored of me or something, or if it ends up happening in the spur of the moment like it did with Lola.”
These are the main concerns that have been eating my mind up since the moment I discovered that he cheated. Because of my insecurities and tendencies to overthink, I’m going to have to keep living with this fear until whenever it decides to leave me, and that thought makes me extremely sad.
A few heartbeats passed, right before the unexpected happened. Luca rose to his feet and stood in front of me, and then he went on his knees, right in front of me.
“Your fears are very valid. It’s my fault for planting them in your mind and I’m so sorry for doing so. I’m gonna work on it, I’m gonna earn my trust back, if you end up giving me a chance, hm? I need you to please give me a chance and I promise to work on us and to there for you no matter what.”
He reached for my right hand and lightly caressed my knuckles with his thumb as he continued.
“I’m going crazy without you, I want you back in my life. I miss you so much. You’re the only reason why I look forward to living another day. Without you in my life, it’s pretty much pointless to keep living. I had a great thing in my hands and I messed it up, which was beyond stupid of me. If you give me another chance, I’m gonna end up fixing everything, you just have to believe me and trust me a little.”
As the words poured out of him, I could tell he was being extremely sincere, and that made my heart flutter.
He reached for my second hand and grasped it, as he continued.
“I’m in love with you, Sofia.”