INTENSE REJECTION
As Maria saw the caller, her heartbeat froze in its place for a moment and soon started to beat faster than its original rate.
She was starting to feel hot and soon, it was forming as moist on her skin alongside the goosebumps that were bulging.
She sat up in bed with her phone trembling in her hands when a knock sounded at the door. She jumped in her place with pure fear evident on her face. The fact that it was a knock and not the doorbell caused a shiver within her.
She looked at the time and it was 10:13 pm. It was typically an odd hour for anyone to visit her. The first thought that came to her mind was Kyros. He was calling and could definitely be the one knocking at the door.
Her phone stopped ringing but the knock didn’t which in a way couldn’t let her fall asleep even though she wanted to.
She dropped her phone by her bedside before walking to the living room and towards the door, taking a gentle step as she does so. She tiptoed further and as soon as she got to the door, she stood on her toes to check through the peephole. She saw a figure but not the person who was standing by her door since the person’s back was turned against the door.
By now, she was sweating profusely and not even the AC had a thing on her as the beads of sweat dripped down to her chest.
She stood back on her feet and as she was still in her fearful feeling, the door sounded again and this time, she hurried back on her toes to check the person’s face through the peephole only then, was she able to the person.
“Reid,” she called as she hurriedly opened the door.
She was greeted by a sullen-looking Reid whom one could have thought that he was morning the death of his dog.
“Maria,” he called out pitifully and she ushered him in.
Reid was the domineering type, he was used to that sort of living. He was used to asserting his will over another in an arrogant way and that only was the way he was used to but now, he was gradually slipping away from that lifestyle.
He could find himself giving a shit about Maria and in some way, he doesn’t like his new self or probably, he does except for the rejection.
He walked in and like it was his habitual thing to do, he walked to her fridge and got a glass of water, gulping it down like he had just gotten back from a desert.
Maria stood and watched him carefully, even though she was still in her terrified state, she didn’t make a sound to intrude on him though it was her apartment.
He dropped the glass on the kitchen cabinet, breathing heavily before looking over at Maria with a broad smile on his face.
“What?” Maria asked with a mixed feeling. A feeling of anger and confusion.
“I just needed that chilled cup,” he answered and Maria shook her head before walking to the living room.
She wasn’t conscious of what she was wearing and how exposed it was. To her, it doesn’t matter at the moment.
“You’ve got none at your place?”
“I’ve got just the orange juice and a spoilt carton of milk. My bad,” he retorted, walking to sit with her.
“And I guess that was my fault,” she shot him a sarcastic stare and he giggled.
“Your sense of humour. It’s great,”
“I don’t intend that as humour though!”
“I find it as that,” he said with a raised eyebrow.
“Okay, that’s it! Why are you here?” she asked him, turning over to look straight into his eyes that now held some emotions unknown to her.
“A lot, a lot is going through my head. I have a thousand words to say to you but I’m going to settle for a few!” his face had shifted from a cheerful expression to a serious one with tons of emotion plastered on it.
Maria could get a hint from the look on his face but she didn’t want to assume a thing. Even though all she wanted was to take a shower and have a good night’s rest, she still sat patiently to listen to him.
“I have tried, countless times to wrap my head around the facts and the reasons for the rejection. At first, I thought you just weren’t ready for a commitment and then was Kyros who you chose over me for reasons best known to you alone but now there’s no one as Kyros in your life anymore and I’m still not worthy? Maria, you know how I feel, I can see it through your eyes how you feel too. But I still wanna know why you are holding back. I wanna know why you’d rather choose anyone over me,” he said the last words softly than he had started. He loved her, he truly does and that alone was what his eyes and countenance portrayed but Maria doesn’t want to see that.
“You don’t know how I feel, Reid. You don’t,”
“I do! I can see it through your eyes,”
“What do you see?”
“I see the way you look at me. I see how you react to me like we’re in a relationship. I didn’t have to explain to you the situation that happened in the elevator, but you listened to me still like we were in a relationship already. You said to me that you believe me. You wouldn’t believe a stranger, Maria. You wouldn’t,” his voice was so soft that it was soothing to her ears.
“You are not sure of anything,”
“Yes, I was not sure of any damn thing until you allowed me to hold your hand. You could have refused and rejected me, but you didn’t. You could have shunned me off and told me never to do that again but you didn’t. You could have reluctantly related with my friends but you didn’t. Stop holding back how you truly feel for me. Let me love you genuinely while you love me with your heart,”
Maria stared at him for a long while, his words were winning her over and he could see that. He could see the effect they had on her. He could see how affectionately she looked at him and that prompted his next words.
“I love you, Maria. I love every damn thing about you. I’m so fucked up that I know not when I started developing these feelings. I’m so fucked up that even after rejecting me with words and with actions, I still feel the same way for you. Maria,” he called, moving closer to her as he cupped her face in his palm and impulsively, she rested her face in his palm with her eyes closed.
He smiled internally before he continued. He was glad that he was making a progress.
“I want to be the reason you believe in love again. I want to turn the fear you have for love into something you crave day in and day out. I don’t give a shit about how Kyros had made you see love, I want to give a different definition to that. I want to be the only reason you talk so much. The only reason you want to live love again. Fuck! I don’t talk this much. I don’t do the talking thing or portray my vulnerability but I genuinely want you to be mine!”
He had exhausted his fine words. There was nothing more he could think of at the moment. There was nothing left in his brain bank to say to her. He had emptied it all and now he waited for the miracle to happen but then, the important words as to why he was doing this popped in his head like his phone’s notification.
“I love you, Maria!” he quickly chipped in before she spoke.
Maria sighed, a sigh that wasn’t so explainable to Reid but he waited for her response instead. His heart froze when she opened her mouth to speak.
“I wished I could see things from your perspective. I really wish we could switch POV. I wish I could feel for you exactly how you feel for me. I wish I could love you like you love me,”
His heart sank more than the Titanic, his heart was drowning and at this point, there was not a single hope left for him.
“Why? Why can’t you love me?” he summoned the courage left within him to ask her.
“I just can’t bring myself to. I just cannot find a place in my heart to feel for you exactly how you feel for me. I’m sorry, Reid!”
He rested his head in his palm and with a blank mind, he stood up from the sofa with what was left of his pride and with not a single more word to her, he walked out of her apartment.