So far so good.
I’ve avoided person’s who name we shall not mention so far and I only have one lesson to go until the end of the day. My first day back wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. By that, I mean I haven’t had a breakdown or a panic attack which is great. I’d like all my Monday mornings to go this smoothly…
I climb up the stairs and enter the corridor, heading for my locker. I need to switch out my books but I’m already running late for Science. The corridors are almost empty and I ignore everyone whilst I speed walk towards my locker. I glance down at my watch and let out a disgruntled noise.
“You’re late again, right?”
I stop in my tracks, my trainers squeaking against the tiled floors from the sudden force. I know that voice, I know who that voice belongs to. I’ve dreamt about it for weeks. My heart skips a beat inside my chest and I breathe in sharply.
“Brody, hi.” I respond quietly, glancing to the side to find him a few feet away from me. He’s sat in his wheelchair, hidden behind the rows of lockers. My eyes briefly scan over his outfit, a denim shirt and jet black jeans. His face is just as beautiful as I remember it, large green eyes, darkened by a thick row of lashes. Damn it, why does the boy always have to look so good?
“Why are you out here alone?” I question, frowning as I inspect the rest of the corridor. When I turn back to look at Brody, his eyes are full of insecurity and shame. I feel my stomach twist in several different knots because I immediately know something isn’t right.
“Brody?” I ask softly, taking another step towards him. He tears his eyes away from me, looking down at the floor instead.
“I’m waiting for help.” He mumbles under his breath, his words almost a shy whisper. I watch him for a few silent seconds, unable to believe this is the same boy I fell in love with months ago. His confidence has completely disappeared, something the usual Brody was full of. It hurt to see him look so broken.
“Help with what?” I question quietly.
“The elevators aren’t working so someone has to wheel me round the entire building and help me down the steps. The school isn’t exactly wheelchair friendly.” Brody murmurs. I breathe in deeply, glancing around at the now empty corridors. Before speaking, I close my eyes, hoping I won’t regret my next decision.
“I can take you.”
His head snaps up, eyes so large and vulnerable. The emerald shine to his eyes has completely disappeared, replaced by a dull lifeless muted tone.
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Why not? We can still be friends, right?” I shrug, my words a little strained. An awkward silence falls upon us and eventually Brody nods, his shoulders slumping in relief.
“Thank you Bella.”
My name coming from his lips causes a flutter to fill my stomach and instead of replying, I give him a small nod. I can feel my throat dry out as I walk towards him.
“I promise I don’t bite.” Brody comments, his tone lighter. I let out a small chuckle, feeling my palms grow sweaty with nerves.
“So I just push you around with the handles?” I question quietly, standing behind him. His scent wraps around me, reminding me of so many memories. Good and bad.
“Yeah, I’d do it myself but I’m worn out from the first day back.” Brody admits, his words forced. I can hear how painful it was for him to admit that. I clear my throat and wrap my hands around the handles, pushing him forward.
“Where to?” I question, heading for the corridor exit. Brody lifts an arm up, signalling for me to go straight.
“In half a mile, turn left.” He says in a robotically monotone voice. I bite down on my lip, struggling to contain my giggle. Eventually I have to let it out and Brody turns around in his seat, glancing up at me. The shine in his eyes return and his lips are set in a small smile.
“It’s nice to hear you laugh again.”
“Shut up and guide me Brody.” I say light heartedly, ignoring the effect his words had on me. He lets out a low chuckle, turning his head back around. I allow my eyes to linger on the thick strands of his dark hair, resisting the urge to run my fingers through it.
Once we reach the end of the corridor, I pause.
“Can you push open the door?” I ask him and he nods his head, reaching forward and giving it a push. I guide us both through it, almost getting knocked out from the door slamming shut in the process.
“Ouch,” I mumble unhappily.
“Sorry. I’m kind of useless, I know.” Brody grimaces. I shake my head, feeling bad. “You’re not useless. Don’t say that.”
“You’re always so nice to everyone, you know that Bella?” Brody responds back. I pause for a moment, breathing deeply until I can feel the oxygen fill my lungs.
“Being nice doesn’t cost a penny.” I mumble, heading round the school building. It’s completely deserted and I know I’ll be in trouble for skipping class but Brody needed a friend and I couldn’t walk away from him.
“You don’t have to do this for me, I know you hate me and you should have walked away but you didn’t. You’re a nice human being Bella, it’s rare to find these days.”
“I don’t hate you.” I say quietly, the sound of my footsteps echoing through the empty atmosphere. “You should hate me.”
“But I don’t.” I protest firmly. We reach the stairs and I glance down at them, feeling nervous inside. There’s only a few steps but I know Brody isn’t capable of getting down them on his own.
“How far are you into recovering?” I ask him quietly, walking around until I’m facing him. His head is bowed slightly, his features neutral.
“I can’t walk yet, if that’s what you’re asking.” Brody mumbles, letting out a deep sigh. I chew my bottom lip and kneel down in front of him. It hurts me seeing him look so defeated and disappointed in himself.
“Brody, look at me.” I say quietly, my voice almost a hushed whisper. I watch as he slowly lifts his head up, searching my eyes. I give him a small smile —
“It’s okay to need help. Months ago, you helped me and I can’t thank you enough for that. It’s my turn now, okay?”
He nods slowly, his eyes brightening up ever so slightly.
“I just need someone to lean on, I can do the rest.” He mumbles, attempting to get out of his chair. I stand back up and reach out, taking hold of his arm and snaking another one around his back. I let out a hesitant breath, looking around to see if anyone else can aid us. My heart tightens as soon as I touch him and Brody stiffens underneath me.
“You don’t have to do this Bella,” he chokes out, his voice thick with emotion. I breathe in sharply, shaking my head.
“I’ll forget you broke my heart for a few minutes, I’m sure I can manage that.” I mumble in response. He doesn’t respond but lets out a low grunt as he stands to his feet. His legs shake unsteadily underneath his weight and I hold him up as best as I can.
“Can you take a step forward?” I ask him, my voice strained from the effort of supporting him. He shakes his head as I glance up at him and that’s when I notice the frustrated tears in his eyes.
“I can’t walk Bella, I don’t know how to take a step forward.” He whispers, his breath shaking. His entire body begins to tremble and I rack my brains to think of something quickly.
“Lower yourself down, sit on the floor.” I command, lowering him gently. His features twist up in confusion but he listens and lowers himself to the ground. Once he’s firmly seated, we both blow out a heavy breath.
“I don’t think I can do this.” He comments, his breathing coming out in short little pants. I shake my head, disagreeing with him.
“Of course you can do this.” I say firmly, taking a seat beside him. He watches me with curiosity, the confusion still clear on his face.
“What are you doing?”
“Follow my lead, we’re going to shuffle down these stairs together.” I say, turning to give him a supportive smile. His eyes search both of mine before falling to my lips and he smiles genuinely. For a moment, I get lost staring at him staring at me. It feels just like old times but I eventually clear my throat, snapping us both out of it.
“On three, okay?” “Sure thing.”
He holds out his hand for me to take and I glance at it warily, my throat closing over. Without overthinking it, I reach up, placing my hand in his. He clutches onto it tightly and the warmth instantly spreads through my body, igniting all the lost flames. I close my eyes and inhale sharply, ignoring the feeling.
“One, two, three.” I count down before shuffling onto the first step. Brody mirrors my actions and when he does it successfully, he turns to look at me, an amused smile on his face. I grin back at him and carry on shuffling down the steps in unison with him. By the time we both get to the bottom, we’re laughing hysterically by how ridiculous we both must look.
“I can’t believe we did it,” Brody chuckles, green eyes sparkling brightly. It’s like a match lit the fire of life inside him, causing him to glow from within.
“I knew you could do it.” I smiled at him, our hands still intertwined. His laughter dies down as he turns to face me and the close distance between us causes me to suck in a deep breath. I’ve envisioned his face over and over again in my dreams and here he is, in the flesh.
Smiling at me, like nothing ever happened.
“I’ll go fetch your wheelchair.” I whisper quietly, slowly pulling my hand away from his. He doesn’t respond but gives me a small nod, his hand reluctant to let go of mine.