I glance down at the screen, making a mental note of the duration I’ve been running. Forty five minutes. Just fifteen minutes to go.
I can do this.
I ignore the burning sensation in my chest and muscles as I force myself to remain steady. The sound of my music blasting through my headphones as I run on the treadmill keeps me zoned out. I quickly turn it up, feeling an extra burst of motivation hit me. My main goal is to run so hard, I forget about everything else.
It dawns on me that I managed to turn my pain into something physical and good for my body. I already feel faster, stronger and healthier. I can now run for an hour straight, my breathing remaining even and steady. I don’t feel like I’m about to collapse from exhaustion or outright die from the simplest form of exercise.
Soon enough the machine beeps, slowing down. My hour is up. I can feel the corners of my lips twitch up into a victorious smile. Beside me, Tia also comes down to a slow walk, her face bright red from the effort. She holds out her hand for me to high-five but quickly drops it, bending over to catch up on her breathing. I remove my headphones and giggle as she begins to wheeze, coughing and spluttering. I hand her the water bottle and she chugs down half of it, her chest rising and falling heavily.
“Hell is inside my body. I am burning with fire everywhere.” Tia gasps, jumping off the treadmill and sitting down onto the floor. I turn my machine off and chuckle at her.
“You’re doing really well Tia, you’ve just got to keep going.” I say firmly. She reaches up, wiping away the bead of sweat covering her forehead.
“That’s easy for you to say Miss Olympics.”
“Whatever, Miss Jealousy.” I shoot back, sticking my tongue out at her. She rolls her eyes, her face still resembling a bright red tomato.
“I can’t believe we go back to school tomorrow. Where did winter break go?” Tia mumbles unhappily, walking beside me as we head out of the gym. I swipe my membership card to exit out of the room and shrug —
“We spent most of it watching movies and eating pizza. Perfect if you ask me.” I grin, bracing myself for the cold outside. Snow is falling inches thick and if you don’t wrap up warm, you’d probably freeze to death within minutes.
“I’m not ready to go back and face Heywood High.” Tia shivers, wrapping her arms around herself. I zip up my jacket, ignoring the way my gym clothes are sticking to me uncomfortably.
“We only have a few weeks and we’ll never have to see the building or the people ever again.” I comment, my teeth slowly beginning to chatter inside my mouth. I speed up, desperate to get home as soon as possible.
“Aha! That reminds me, your birthday is next week.” Tia grins, her eyes lighting up. I slowly nod, missing the feeling of excitement. To me, it’s simply being a year older.
“I don’t want a big fuss, that’s my worst nightmare.”
“Aw, come on Bella. Aren’t you even the least bit excited?” I pause, thinking hard about her question.
“The idea of having everyone staring at me whilst singing Happy Birthday makes me want to crawl into a hole and cry like a baby.” I say causing Tia to nod in agreement.
“Okay, so no singing?”
“Yep, definitely no singing.” I confirm, giving her a small smile.
“You’re officially turning into an adult.” Tia grins and I nod in return. That part, I am excited for. “The big eighteen,” I murmur quietly.
*****
I run down the stairs two at a time, groaning as I glance down at my watch. I’m late, again.
“Seriously Bella, it’s your first day back. You couldn’t have woken up ten minutes earlier?” Jedd says unhappily, holding out a piece of toast for me to take. I retrieve it and balance it in my mouth whilst attempting to lace up my converse.
“Sorry Jedd.” I mumble, my words incoherent due to the toast. He rolls his eyes, picking up his keys before disappearing out of the front door. I quickly take a bite from my toast, chewing it twice as fast whilst searching for my jacket. It has to be here somewhere. . .
“Here you go kiddo,” Dad says, shaking his head at me. My winter jacket is in his hands and I take it from him, giving him a grateful smile in return.
“Thanks Dad, have a good day!”
“You too kid.” He responds, his voice growing quieter as I leave the house. I shiver as soon as I step outside, my trainers sinking into the freshly fallen snow. The cold seeps it’s way through my warm body and I mumble under my breath as I head for Jedd’s car.
“I can’t believe you’re going to be late on your first day back Bella. You need to be more responsible.” Jedd scolds me as I slide into the seat. He turns the temperature up on the heater and I sigh in relief as warm air fills the car.
“I know Jedd and I’ve apologised. It won’t happen again.” I mumble, clipping my seatbelt in. Jedd lets out a deep sigh, starting the car and driving down the road.
“I just want you to focus on school Bells. After everything with Brody . . . ”
I feel my entire body tense. Brody. I’d tried to ignore the fact that I’d be seeing him all around school now that he’s back. I’d managed to keep him well and truly away from the focal point of my thoughts but now, he’s all I can think about.
“I will focus on school. We don’t need to talk about Brody.” I say abruptly, cutting off his sentence. An awkward silence falls upon us until we reach the gates of Heywood High. Jedd comes to a slow stop and I can already see Tia waiting by the gates for me to arrive. I give her a little wave and her face lights up as she begins to walk towards me.
“Bye Jedd.”
“Have a good day Bells.”
I watch as he drives off, giving him a little wave just as I always do. He doesn’t wave back but I know that he sees me, every time.
“Damn girl, you look good today.” Tia comments, linking her arm through mine. I glance down at my outfit, not realising it’s anything out of the ordinary. I’d quickly pulled on a pair of denim jeans, little colourful birds sewn into the side. Underneath my jacket, I’m wearing a grey turtleneck top and my blonde hair is straight, resting on my shoulders.
I guess you could say I dress more stylish now. Although, hoodies and jeans will forever hold a special place in my heart.
“Thank you Tia. So do you, I love your jeans.” I smile. Instead of her usual black jeans, she’s wearing white ripped ones. If she sat on the floor, her bottom half would camouflage with the snow and completely disappear.
Sometimes I wish I had her fashion sense and confidence but truthfully, I’m happy with who I am. I’ve learned that being unique and myself brings me true happiness. Nothing can be forced, it should come naturally.
“The snow inspired me.” Tia shrugs, giving me a small smile. We both slowly walk towards the entrance of Heywood High, taking our time.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Tia eventually says after a few moments of silence. “That I really don’t want to go in there and face certain people?” I mumble under my breath.
“Beatrice and Brody?” Tia asks me, giving me a slight nudge. I nod my head, inhaling and exhaling deeply. “You’ve got this bestie. Don’t forget, I’m prepared to go down for murder if I have to.”
“You wouldn’t survive five minutes in prison,” I grin. Tia scoffs playfully, rolling her eyes. “I have resting bitch face. That works in my favour every time.”
Despite the anxiety building up inside of me, I can’t help but laugh at Tia’s words. . .
She always knows exactly what to say.