“I can’t believe we don’t have to come back to this prison for an entire two weeks!” Tia squeals, squeezing my arms tight. I chuckle and whirl around with her, taking a look at The Heywood High building. The entire school are on a two week holiday which is simply bliss to my ears.
Give me all the holidays in the world.
“So long,” I say, bringing my arm up and mimicking a salute. Tia giggles next to me and I grin at her, linking arms once again.
“So what are our plans?” Tia asks as we leave the school parking lot. I shrug, pulling my backpack higher up my shoulder.
“I was going to stay in, watch a few movies, eat junk food and dwell over my very raw break up.” Beside me, Tia shoots me a glare, her eyebrow piercing glinting in the sun.
“Bella, you are so not spending two weeks doing that!” Her voice is whiny and pleading and I shoot her a small grin.
“Maybe. . . you and I can hang out one day.” I suggest, earning a very wide grin from Tia. She pauses, absorbing my words before scoffing.
“One day? Let’s try the entire two weeks. I’m not letting you lie in bed all day, crying over chick flicks and Brody Boy.” Tia says firmly. We both turn up the street, automatically heading for the ice cream shop. It’s become a tradition to come here every Friday. I can already smell the Toffee Popcorn flavoured ice cream in the air and my stomach grumbles in excitement.
“I don’t cry over Brody Boy anymore.” I shoot back at her, narrowing my eyes playfully. She raises one brow at me, clicking her fingers.
“Ah! That is true.”
It is true, I don’t cry over him anymore. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I simply try to forget he ever existed, it’s the easiest thing to do for me to cope. For days I was spinning in complete darkness and that terrified me. I didn’t want to be completely reliable on a boy, even if that boy was Brody. I learned to suck it up, get on with my life and disguise my pain from the people around me. I’m afraid if I don’t, he’d completely break me.
I don’t want that.
It also helps that Brody is still recovering in hospital. I don’t know much about his progress other than he’s using a wheelchair until he can learn to walk. The only time I hear about him is through gossip from other students.
Sometimes I’d go out for a run really late at night and end up at the hospital, staring up at the windows. It would provide a level of calm inside my heart, willing me to keep going.
Brody taught me to be brave and strong. He taught me that I didn’t need to worry so much about high school. He taught me that there was a world beyond the walls of school and with that new mantra, school became easier Tia is constantly by my side and Beatrice doesn’t bully me as much as she used to. She’d snarl at me every once in a while like a wild dog but I’d hit back until she cowered away.
I’m done being a victim.
My new found confidence doesn’t stop the stabs of pain I get in my heart every time I think about Brody. If I’m not good enough for him, would I ever be good enough for anyone? My weakest points are during the night when I dream about his smiling face. I’d wake up and remember I’m all alone and that’s when the tears really do fall. I wasn’t expecting them to stop soon but I’d work on it.
Self healing is a journey, it takes time.
“Can I tell you something?” Tia says, nibbling on her lower lip nervously. I pull myself away from my thoughts, nodding my head.
“Of course you can. What’s up, buttercup?”
She smiles softly at me, fiddling with her fingers. I’ve never seen her look so nervous, she reminds me of the Bella I used to be months ago. I reach out, taking one of her hands in mine and giving it a small squeeze. Her palm is cold, the feel of her several metal rings digging into my skin.
“Do you know Brody’s friend? The one in the cafeteria when Brody announced you were his girlfriend?”
I think back to that time, a small smile playing on my face as I remember how protective Brody became of me. He stood up for me against Clayton and Beatrice, the school’s power couple. It was one of the bravest, nerve- wracking things I’ve ever done walking into that cafeteria. I remember seeing Brody smile so wide, his beautiful eyes shone and his dimple dipped into his cheek. He looked so proud of me. The fond memories are suddenly washed away, ripped away from me in an instant. The warmth inside my chest fizzles out into nothing and I physically wince from the feeling.
I nod slowly, turning back towards Tia.
“Sorry, I know you don’t want to think about it.” Tia mumbles apologetically. I shake my head, my blonde hair falling around my shoulders. Lately I’ve been wearing it down, letting it tumble past my shoulders. I don’t need the security of a hair band however it was a big step for me to give them up.
They were my comfort.
“It’s fine, I’m over it.” I wave it off, lying to her. I inhale deeply, plastering a smile on my face.
“Which boy? The one who smiled at you?” I question, desperately wanting to change the subject. Tia nods, a slight pink blush creeping up her neck. It coloured the tips of her ears and she looks sheepish, shy. I let out a gasp —
“I know that look!” I squeal, pointing at her face. Tia’s eyes widen and she grabs my hand, stopping me from jumping around like an excited monkey.
“Shh Bella!” Tia warns me, placing a hand over my mouth. I giggle behind it, my eyes sparkling with happiness for her. Tia removes her hand and I grab onto her hand, dragging her into a side street that is secluded from prying ears.
“Spill,” I say firmly, leaning back against the wall. Tia shrugs off her denim jacket, running a hand through her black hair.
“Well, he said he wants to hang out with me.” I gasp, my mouth dropping open.
“Like a date? Or as friends?” “I don’t know.”
“I think he means a date.”
“I don’t know Bella! Uh, boys are so confusing!” Tia whines, dropping her hands up in the air and slapping them down onto her black ripped jeans. I sit back and grin, watching as her cheeks heat up once again.
“Do you like him?” I question. Tia pauses before nodding.
“I do. He has these blue dreamy eyes and dark hair and he likes the same music I do. That’s rare to find.” Tia babbles on, a love-sick smile on her face. I continue to listen as she tells me all about him, pausing to allow me to give my opinion every once in a while.
“Does he have your number?” I ask Tia, pulling her into the ice cream shop. The owner smiles at us, already beginning to scoop up two large scoops of Toffee Popcorn Flavour inside a bowl. I lick my lips and turn to find Tia doing the same.
“Yes, I slipped it inside his locker before we left.” Tia says sheepishly, the corner of her lips tugging upwards into a smile. My eyes widen at her confidence and I hold out my hand for her to high-five.
“That’s my girl.” I giggle, slapping hands with her.