“Can I walk you home?” Brody asks, interlocking his fingers in mine. I struggle to stop the ache in my cheeks from the size of my smile. I bite down on my lower lip and nod, my head bouncing up and down.
“Come on,” he grins, his dimple appearing in his cheek. We begin to take a slow walk through the dark night, hands held tightly together. A comfortable silence falls upon us but it doesn’t feel awkward, it feels right.
I subtly glance down at my hand that’s holding on to Brody’s, studying our interlocked fingers. I can’t help thinking this could be it. . .
My first romance?
“What are you thinking?” Brody asks me, interrupting my thoughts. A blush creeps onto my cheeks and I feel like Brody could see straight through me, read every thought.
“Nothing,” I mumble, feeling shy. Brody gives me a lopsided grin, his head tilted slightly to the side. “Come on Bella,” he urges, swinging our arms as we continued to head for my house.
“Let me into that brain of yours,” he teases, reaching up to poke at my forehead. I giggle and bat away his hand with my free one.
“I was just thinking about this,” I mumble, looking down at our hands again. Brody begins to slow down, his arm coming to a slow halt. I immediately feel like I’ve made a mistake and curse myself silently for ever mentioning it.
A few painful minutes pass between us, the only sounds coming from our feet walking along the pavement. The entire time my hands grow clammy with nerves and I feel my stomach twist in knots.
“What do you want it to be?” Brody asks suddenly, breaking the silence between us. His voice is so confident and smooth and I’m in awe of how he could do it.
How is he so calm all the time?
Do I not make his heart flutter the same way he does to mine?
His question knocks me back slightly. I haven’t prepared to answer it and so I find myself thinking hard about the answer.
“I don’t know,” I truthfully answer, my mind appearing blank. I don’t know what I’m doing and feel way out of my depth. Tonight has been an emotional rollercoaster and right now I want to get off the ride.
“Can I go home and think about it?” I ask quietly, needing some space. Brody silently nods understandingly. I’m not being rude or blunt, I’m simply exhausted and overwhelmed,
“I understand,” he murmurs quietly, turning to give me a small smile. He stops walking and signals for me to look forward —
“We’re already here,” he states. I glance in the direction he’s pointing, realising he’s right.
“Goodnight Brody,” I murmur, dropping his hand from mine. I begin to walk ahead towards the front door. A long shower and clean pyjamas along with junk food is all I want right now.
I know you shouldn’t drown your sorrows in a bag of crisps or comfort eat but I love food. A hand grips on to mine, stopping me in my tracks and I frown, turning around to glance at Brody. He’s staring at me intently, hurt flashing through his eyes.
“No goodbye kiss?” He asks me, tilting his head adorably to the side. His hair flops over and I once again get the urge to run my fingers through it. I suddenly come to the realisation that I don’t have to isolate myself. I enjoy being around Brody yet my first instinct is to run and be alone when I feel confused or overwhelmed or hurt.
“Why don’t you come inside?” I ask bravely, unable to believe those words came from me. Brody’s eyes widen in surprise and he appears taken aback. His lips turn up into a smile, green eyes sparkling at me.
I suddenly realise how suggestive my words are . . . Holy cow.
“Not like that! I mean – I don’t know. You want to watch a movie or s-something?” I stutter, my face turning beetroot red. Brody pauses, enjoying my torture before he burst into a fit of laughter.
“Stop! It’s not funny,” I cringe, biting back a smile. I feel his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me towards him. My stomach immediately tightens with knots and I feel my throat dry out in a split second.
“I know what you mean Bella. A movie sounds great,” he mumbles down my ear, humour still lining his voice. I can tell without even looking at him that he’s still smirking. If his voice didn’t send chills running through my body, I would have responded with a normal response. Instead I nod and take my keys out of my pocket.
“Come on,” I smile weakly, feeling the butterflies begin to die down inside my stomach. Brody silently follows me and I suddenly begin to feel nervous. Extremely nervous.
No-one has ever been over to my house.
Especially not a boy.
Especially not a boy as cute as Brody.
“Bella, I don’t have to come in,” Brody murmurs, his voice quiet as he senses my hesitation. I shake my head in protest and turn around, giving him a re-assuring smile.
“No really, its fine. I want you to.”
I put the key inside the door and turn it, listening out for any noise. Hopefully Jedd and Dad will be sleeping by now. I can’t deal with the hundred and one questions if they catch me with Brody.
“Quick, follow me.” I whisper, stepping inside. Behind me, Brody steps insides and glances around the house. “I feel like you’re sneaking me in Bella.”
“That’s because I am sneaking you in,” I respond, taking hold of his hand and leading him towards the stairs. Excitement builds up inside me as I feel the adrenaline run through my body. I’m taking Brody Baxter up to my room.
I turn around and signal for him to be quiet, placing a finger on my lips. Brody simply stares back at me, amusement flashing through his eyes. One eyebrow is arched up at me but I don’t blame him, I’m acting like a drug smuggler right now.
But with Brody instead of drugs. . . A Brody smuggler.
We both walk up the stairs and I quickly head for my room, dragging Brody with me. The second we’re both inside, I release the breath I’m holding, feeling relieved. I lock my bedroom door and flick on the lights, blinking as my eyes adjust. Beside me, Brody is smiling, his hand still holding mine. He drops it and begins to walk around in a circle, inspecting my room.
I remain by the door and simply watch him, fiddling nervously with my fingers. His eyes remain expressionless however the smile on his face never fades. My heart thumps against my chest as I watch him.
“Do you like it?” I ask, motioning at my room. My voice is quiet, timid. Brody nods, walking over to the bookshelf on the opposite end of the room. He begins to study the photographs, his back turned to me.
It feels weird having someone else inside my room. It’s allowing someone inside your private space and a part of your brain that you never show to anyone else. I quickly realise Brody is the only person beside Jedd and Dad to ever step foot inside here.
“Is this you?” Brody asks, pointing at the photo in the middle. It’s a picture of me as a newborn, mum cradling me in the hospital. I nod and smile, noticing how Brody doesn’t touch anything.
He’s respectful and I like that.
“Yeah and that’s my mum,” I say quietly, walking over to stand beside him. I study the photograph, silence falling upon us. Mum is smiling at the camera, long blonde locks pulled up into a high bun. A wave of sadness washes over me as I realise I miss having a mother figure around.
“Where is she? You don’t speak much about her,” Brody asks me, watching me carefully. “We don’t get along,” I smile tightly, the words difficult to say.
“That must be tough.” Brody responds, his voice growing soft. I nod, an emotional lump appearing in my throat. “It is but I have Jedd. He’s like a Mum, Dad and brother rolled into one.”
“He sounds like an awesome brother,” Brody says, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I don’t reply and instead nod, noticing the wave of electricity run through my body from Brody’s touch. I take the chance to look at him, study his beauty. He really is breath taking.
His eyes are my favourite, they have the ability to capture you the moment you look into the spiral of green and flecks of gold.
Brody notices my intense stare and stares back at me, the chemistry between us crystal clear. His eyes drink in my appearance shamelessly but I don’t mind, at all. I take a step closer to him, wanting desperately to be the one to kiss him first. The entire time, I never drop his stare.
Brody’s eyes turn shades darker, a wanting expression taken over his features. His chest is rising and falling heavily, mouth slightly parted. I inch closer, standing on my tip toes to reach his lips. His scent completely wraps itself around me and my mind becomes hazy from the intoxicating scent.
I feel him hesitate and take a step back. Hurt and rejection immediately hits me and I blink also taking a step back.
“Bella,” he starts, his voice hoarse. I shake my head, turning my back on him so he can’t see the hurt flash through my eyes. His hand immediately grabs hold of me, spinning me around so that I’m facing him once again.
“I want to, believe me.” He explains, his eyes searching mine desperately.
“It’s fine,” I lie. Brody shakes his head repeatedly, using his free hand to run his hand through his hair. He’s frowning, frustrated at himself.
“Bella, please just hear me out.” He tries again, wanting me to give him a chance to explain. I remain silent and Brody takes it as his cue to continue —
“I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything,” he mumbles, placing his hand under my chin. He tilts it upwards, forcing me to look into his eyes. Their full of truth and I nod, believing his words.
“But what if I want to?” I whisper, my eyes dropping to his lips. Brody is the only person who makes me forget about my troubles and makes me feel good. When I’m with him, I feel like I finally belong somewhere. I feel like I finally fit in, I’ve never felt that way my entire life.
I reach up for the second time and lean closer to Brody, my lips pressing against his. He remains still at first, simply mirroring my actions. I know he’s allowing me to take the lead and I feel my heart burst with affection for him. I take his hands in mine and wrap them around my waist, reassuring him that this is what I want.
My actions cause a switch to go off inside him.
He releases a low groan, his hands tightening around my body as he begins to take control. He suddenly pushes me backwards with his body until I feel the wall greet my back. I let out a small gasp but it’s muffled as Brody kisses me harder. I arch my back into him, moulding against his toned frame. The sparks I feel soaring through my body become addicting, a delirious sense of pleasure flooding my mind.
“Bella,” he groans, tearing his lips off mine. I take the chance to inhale deeply, allowing the oxygen to fill my body. Brody’s eyes are hooded over, his lips blushing red from our kisses.
“I r-really like you,” I whisper, my hands running through his hair. His eyes flicker between both of mine, a smile lighting up his face.
“Good because I really like you.”