The tingling sound of the bullet rang through my ears. It felt like I was in a time loop. With Justin constantly calling my name. His voice was faint and his touch was cold.
My blurry eyes, my cold feet, and my blood that ran cold in my veins.
A fell to the ground With a teardrop from the side of my face.
“Ja … . James” I whispered softly as my tears dropped on his lips.
Dean had fired a shot at Me, yes, but I wasn’t hurt. James took my place. He made himself my shield. He always made himself my shield and even today, he did the same without thinking twice.
James was bleeding profusely from his abdomen. Dean lay there with a smile of satisfaction on his face. He wanted to kill me but he couldn’t, yet he was happy that someone was going to die at his hands and that was James. He was in a lot of pain and his time slowly passed. He too was losing a lot of blood.
James slowly gasped for breath On the floor. He placed his hands carefully on the pierced area but nothing could hold back the bleeding and the excruciating pain he felt in his guts.
When Justin heard the fired shot of Dean’s gun, ahead of us with the kids, he hid them in a safe spot in between the scattered cartons and barrels in the warehouse. He ran back to us and saw James lying on the floor in a pull of blood struggling to keep up a conversation with me.
With every blink, my tears dropped on James’ face. I knelt in front of him with my Hands curling his cheeks.
“Hey…. You know I don’t like to see you cry” James struggled to speak and at the same time keep his breath steady.
“Wipe ’em off .”
“Please…. Please stay with me, James.”
“We will get help.”
“Please… stay with me. ” I told him with a shaking voice. I was assured James that he was going to be when I couldn’t believe my own words.
” I’m fine… ”
“The kids must be scared. ”
“Go”
“Justin will get you home,” James told me with a weak corner smile.
I watched him struggle to stay Alive while pretending to be okay. I saw pain in James’s eyes and at the same time I saw no regrets in his eyes.
“What are you saying?”
“Why? Why did you take my place?”
“Why did you have to prove your stubbornness?”
‘Ju…just tell me.”
I broke down in tears. The downpour from my eyes was enough to start a fountain fall.
Justin didn’t interfere. He just stood there and watched James and I have our moments.
“Even on my dead bed, you still scold me, Isabelle. ”
Justin…?
“Isabelle will never stop scolding you.”
“Get used to it .” James laughed in pain, he sighed and laid his head down.
I saw how much pain He was in. His shirt and laid down mark were filled with his blood. My hands were stained and covered in his blood but I didn’t mind.
“Aiden and Amelia are lucky to have you as their mother. ”
“Justin is the luckiest of men Isa ”
“If there was a way to start all over in another life, Gladly walk through fire to find you and make you mine.”
“And if in every life, I am asked to sacrifice my life for yours to be spared, I’d do it all over again. ”
“I love you, Isa ”
“Justin, don’t hurt her again”
“She deserves to be happy .”
In those last minutes of James’s life, I realized how much he loved Me. I realized how much he cared for me. James was no ordinary man that just wanted to have an affair with me. He wanted me and only me.
I couldn’t help but blame myself for the misfortune I brought to him. If it wasn’t for Me, James would have never been there in the first place. He would have never been shot by Dean.
“No.. no…no….”
“James please, we will get you to safety .”
“we will get help.”
“What are you fucking doing Justin?”
“Go and get help. ”
An ambulance, the police, something… I yelled at the top of my voice. At Justin. James was on the verge of losing his life and all Justin did was stand there and listen to us talk.
What could he have done though? I was agitated scared, and unable to think straight.
All this while, Dean was struggling for his life as well and we gave him entertainment.
“Ah…. How I love this…”
Dean smiled wearily at us.
“I wasn’t able to kill you but I killed the person that loves you the most aside from your fucking family that abandoned you all those years ago. ”
“James is one man that was willing to do anything for you and you know what? ”
“I took that way too .”
“You don’t deserve to be loved. ”
“You deserve nothing but hate and pain which Justin would gladly give to you .”
Even in Dean’s likely-to-be last moments, he seized no opportunity to make fun of my misery and toy with my emotional dilemma.
“You will never be happy.”
SHUT UP….. I yelled ferociously, stood up, and went over to him. His gun was lying right next to him. I picked it up without thinking straight and pointed it at him.
Dean gave me a wide satisfying smile.
He sighed and closed his eyes in anticipation of whatever was coming for him.
I was boiling with fury and pain.
“I should have never met you.”
“Isabelle….” Justin called out my name. Trying to stop me from doing whatever he felt I wanted to. He already placed a call to the cops and he always wanted the law to handle Dean but I wasn’t ready for that.
“Fuck you.” I fired my gun. Not once, not twice but four times. I kept shooting Dean till Justin ran up to me and pulled the gun out of my hands. Dean was already gone. Maimed and wasted on the ground.
I let go of the gun and hugged him. CRYING profusely into his arms. My heart was hurting. My life was ruined. In the space of 4 days, I ruined lives all over again.
The little child whose father I killed, Jessica whose boyfriend I killed, and now James who was now fighting for his life. All these I did to save my children. Wasn’t I selfish?
“James….?”
James…. I pulled myself out of Justin’s arms and again ran towards Justin. Raised his head and placed them on my legs.
“He got what was coming for Him” James chuckled with a sigh.
“Hold on okay.. help is on its way .”
“Stay with me, James. Okay? I nodded my head .”
Haa…. He sighed and there James drew his last breath in my arms.
James left me. He died there for me.
“I was In disbelief.”
Devastated and shocked. I watched James’s head slowly fall to the side of my legs.
“He died.”
My throat felt like it was closing up. I was unable to utter a word. I was unable to realize the burning pain In my chest.
My eyes suddenly dried up. A single tear dropped didn’t roll down my face. Maybe it was all a scary nightmare.
Maybe James was just taking a nap. Maybe he was just joking around to scare me, I thought.
The truth was a hard pill to swallow. Justin came up to me and held my hands but I still wasn’t moved by anything. My mind became blank and my head was unable to figure anything out.
Where Aiden and Amelia were, what James was doing, where I was, and why Dean was lying dead on the floor, I was unable to figure anything out.
Temporary Amnesia one could say or maybe I was just too broken to feel.
I was shook out of my misery when I was the cops and a few others placing James on a stretcher off my body.
His lifted weight brought me back to reality.
Aiden and Amelia were escorted out of the building by a female cop. They were just too young to face such trauma.
Justin knelt beside me. His hands still wrapped around my shoulder consoling my already shattered heart.
James? James? I immediately stood up, pulled Justin’s hands away from my shoulders and began to follow the men that were taking James away.
“Stay with me.”
“You said you were always going to stay with me. With Aiden and Amelia. ”
“You said so yourself. ”
“Don’t break your promises now. ”
“What do you want me to say to the kids? How do I explain to them?”
My held-back tears began to roll down my face. I fell to the ground when I saw James being placed in a body bag.
It was at that point I realized that James was dead. All our memories flashed through my eyes.
His constant words,
“I love you, Isa”
” You are the best mother anyone could ask for ”
“I’d gladly lay my life down for you “All those words rang through my head.
He did lay down his life for me. He didn’t think twice before doing that.
My eyes were blurry as I sat on the floor with Justin again with me.
Dean’s words echoed in my ears over and over again.
“You do not deserve to be happy. ”
“You deserve nothing but pain and hate .”
He was right, wasn’t he? I deserved nothing but pain.
I loved Justin but I got hurt and I was breaking, James came through for me at my weakness and he loved me and now he died because of me.
Dean was right. I whispered under my breath.
“I don’t deserve to be happy. ”
” I don’t deserve love.”
” I don’t deserve happiness ”
“Isabelle…no, don’t say that. ”
He pulled my head closer to his chest.
“No, I killed him. ”
“I killed James”
“He died because of me. ”
I started to cry again. My snot was all over Justin’s suit. I was pulling and hitting him ferociously. I wanted to let it all out but there was nothing let in me.