“You’re quiet”.
“Nothing to say”. I shrugged.
“We’ve been on the road for a few hours Ava and you’ve nothing to say. What’s going on?”. Jared asked as he rolled the window down.
“He’s missing her first day of pre-school. Okay it’s her induction but still”. I wasn’t angry with him just a little sad. This was a big step for Everleigh.
“Does he know?”. He asked.
“He should know”. I sighed. “He’s probably forgot”.
“Did you remind him?”. Lighting up a smoke he passed it to me. I didn’t want it.
“I shouldn’t have to Jared”. Looking at the cigarette between my fingers I passed it back to him.
“You know his heads not in the right place just now Ava. He’ll be even harder on himself if he misses this. Tell him”.
And I did. I sent him a text that he had yet to read.
“You tell him?”.
“I sent him a text”.
“Ava”. He sighed.
“Fine I’ll call him when we get home”.
“You sure you’re, okay?”. He asked.
What was it with everyone asking if I was okay. I was fine, I was handling my own. Blaze had stuff going on and in my own way so did I.
“Fine. I wish people would stop asking me that”.
“If you say so”. He sighed.
The rest of the car journey was silent. I couldn’t wait to get home and see Everleigh. I couldn’t wait to get her home and to spend her first night in her own room.
“I just worry about you darlin'”. Pulling up to the clubhouse he cut the engine. “Lot of people here care for you”.
“I know that Jared but I’m handling it”.
“So, there is something wrong?”. He was pushing for me to tell him. Jared was like Ally, he was kinda my person. He was always there when I needed him.
“I don’t know yet Jared but please don’t push”. I sighed. He didn’t say anything, he unbuckled his seatbelt and left me on my own.
Taking out my phone I dialled his number putting it on speaker.
“You okay?”.
“I’m okay. That’s us just home. Blaze-…”
“What’s wrong Ava?”.
“Remember tomorrow is Everleigh’s-…”
“Her induction – fuck sweetheart I completely forgot. I’ll be home for it, I promise sweets”.
“Ava?”.
“I’m here”. I sighed.
“What’s wrong?”.
“Nothing’s wrong, I’ll see you when you get home. Be safe”.
I hung up.
Running a hand through my hair I got out my car and made my way inside.
“Mommy”. She squealed running towards me.
“Hey baby”. Lifting her into my arms I squeezed her tight. I had only been a way a night, but I had missed her so much. “Were you good for nana?”. I asked.
“She was perfect”. My mom smiled placing her hand on my shoulder. “You sort out what you needed to?”.
“We’re good”. I smiled. I wasn’t lying to her Blaze, and I were fine. I was having trouble dealing with myself.
“Mommy can I go see Uncle Ared?”. She asked.
“Sure baby”. Kissing the top of her head I placed her on her feet.
“Big day for her tomorrow”. She grinned.
“Big day for me”. I sighed. “What am I going to do without her?”.
“You’ll be fine honey. You’ll get back on your feet, back to work and everything else will fall into place”.
“I think I’m pregnant”. I blurted out.
“You think?”. She questioned.
“Yeah, I think”. I sighed.
“Have you told Blaze?”.
“You and Lexi are the only ones I’ve told. I can’t be pregnant mom not yet”.
“Hey”. She whispered taking my hand in hers. “You’re worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet. You don’t know if you are Ava”.
“And if I am what do I do?”. I wanted to get my life back, I wanted my career back. I wanted to give my baby the best life.
“Only you know what to do baby but there’s no point in worrying about it until you know for certain”. Kissing the top of my head she placed her hands on my shoulders. “You’ve turned into a beautiful young woman and I’m so proud of you and who you’ve become”.
“What’s happened?”. My dad’s voice boomed throughout the clubhouse.
Rolling my eyes I smiled. “Nothing dad everything is fine”. Looking my mom in the eyes I gave her a nod. I needed to find out, I needed to know for sure before I started overthinking everything.
“My girls”. He grinned walking towards us. “How the fuck did I get so lucky?”. Placing his arms over our shoulders he pulled us tight. “Glad you came back to me”. He whispered.
This was getting a little bit emotional, and my dad didn’t do emotional.
“Okay”. I smiled trying to keep it all together. “I’m going to get sorted and then take Everleigh home”. Breaking away from them I headed to our room.
….
I had managed to fit most of our stuff in the trunk of my car. I didn’t have much. When I came back here, I wasn’t planning to stay.
How that changed quickly.
Clipping Everleigh into her car seat I gave her back her iPad. I didn’t always agree with them, but they were a god send at times.
“You let me know as soon as you find out”. My mom kissed Everleigh on the cheek. “Remember you’re not alone this time A”.
“I know mom”. Getting in the driver’s side I turned on my engine and headed home.
“Ready to see your new room baby”. Glancing at her through my rear-view mirror I couldn’t help but smile. She was still so much like Blaze. She was becoming more like him with every day that passed.
“Yes mommy”. Not looking up from her iPad I laughed.
“Daddy will be home tonight baby, you excited to see him?”. I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer, not when her eyes were glued to that. Coming to a stop I signalled into our street continuing until I was in our driveway.
Home.
I didn’t notice her car.
Getting out I went to Everleighs side lifting her out and placing her on her feet. “Stay there until mommy gets some bags”.
“Need a hand?”. She asked.
“Aunt Ally”. Everleigh smiled.
“Hey baby girl”….
“How’d you know I was home?”. I asked only then noticing the bag in her hand.
“Your mom called me”. Holding up the bag she grinned. “We can take them together”.
I couldn’t stop my smile.
She deserved this. Her and Cage had been trying for so long.
“Really?”. I asked my tears matching hers.
“I think so”. She whispered. “I’m two weeks late”.
“Mommy”. Everleigh groaned.
Forgetting about the bags in my trunk I swung Everleigh into my arms and headed inside. I was excited for Ally; she didn’t need to know I was having mixed feelings.
Placing Everleigh onto her feet I headed towards the kitchen and put the kettle on. I was nervous. I was scared mine came back positive and hers negative. I wanted this for her, she deserved this more than anyone. I knew how desperate she was to become a mom.
“Tea?”. I asked lifting two mugs from the cupboard.
“You, okay?”. She asked taking a seat at the table.
“I’m fine”. I smiled. “Now how are you feeling. Does Cage know?”. I asked handing her a tea.
“Not yet. I wanted to be sure before I tell him. I didn’t want to get his hopes up in case I’m not”. She sighed.
“I have a good feeling about this”. I grinned. “Now come on pee on that damn stick. I want to know if I’m going to be an aunt”.
“We do this together A, please”. I knew she was nervous; I was nervous for her.
“Together”. I nodded. “Everleigh baby let’s go see your room”.
Heading up the stairs I stopped at the top of them. “You use the bathroom; I’ll use the one in my room”. As she handed me a test, I knew my hands were shaking. Everleigh had found her room and was occupying herself with the toys Blaze had bought.
“We do the results together too”.
“Whatever you want”. I smiled heading into my room. I never was good at peeing on sticks, last time I pee’d all over my hands. Taking the test from the box I took a deep breath. There were worse things in this world than a child.
I kept a small container on the bathroom shelf for my hair bobbles and hair grips. Emptying them out I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. It was now or never.
“A-Ava are you done?”. She asked knocking on the door.
“Almost”. After peeing into the container, I pulled my jeans back up. Dipping the test in I counted 5 seconds before taking it out again. Opening the bathroom door, she was sat on the edge of my bed.
“I’ve set my phone alarm for 3 minutes”.
“Okay”. Taking a seat beside her I took hold of her hand. “Remember-…”
“I know”. She cried. “I’ve already told myself it’s negative”.
“Ally”. I whispered.
“It’s okay”. She smiled through tears. “I’ve prepared myself for the worst, I’m just hoping for the best”. Squeezing her hand, we waited patiently.
3 minutes felt like 3 hours. We sat in silence, not one word spoken. I was praying for hers to be positive. As her phone alarm went off my stomach dropped.
“I can’t look”. She whispered as she got to her feet.
“Together”. I reminder her. “We do this together”.
“You’re right”.
As we both turned our tests over, we sat them on the bed. Both tests reading the same results.
Pregnant.
We were pregnant.