I was slumped against the cold tiles hugging the toilet bowl. Blaze had been banging on the door for the last ten minutes.
“Babe just let me in”.
I felt terrible. My stomach was unsettled, and my head was spinning. I hadn’t eaten all day; I wasn’t looking after myself properly. To busy looking after everyone else. Lifting myself off the floor I ran the tap splashing some cold water on my face.
“I’ll break the damn door down Ava”. He warned.
“I’ll be out in a sec”. Drying my face, I unlocked the door to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes locked onto mine. “I don’t feel good”. I whispered.
“Come here”. His eyes never left mine until I was settled in his lap. “Worried about you darling. I don’t like when you’re sick”.
I don’t think I was sick; I just felt a little queasy. I didn’t drink much last night, but I hadn’t eaten all day. I just wasn’t feeling hungry.
“Can you get me some tea?”. I asked. It was the only thing that seemed to settle my stomach and take the sicky feeling away.
Holding me tight he got to his feet and placed me in the centre of the bed. “Sure, baby but I want to see you eat something to”. Placing a kiss on my forehead he gripped my chin. “Gotta start looking after yourself better”. I couldn’t argue with that because he was right.
“I know”. I whispered placing my lips against his. “I just forget sometimes”. Shrugging my shoulders I settled against the headboard. It was true, I was too busy looking after everyone else instead of looking after myself.
“It stops now babe. I’ll be back soon”.
….
I couldn’t be.
Blaze had dropped off my tea and some food that I had yet to touch. He had some business to take care of with Marko, a church meeting had been called.
I was stood at the window welcoming the fresh air. My stomach was in knots because I had come to the realisation that I could be pregnant. We weren’t ready for another baby, I wasn’t ready. As always, I was overthinking something that might not be the case.
I could just have a bug.
Squeezing my eyes shut I ran a hand over my face. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a period or when it was due. Again, I was to focused on everything else to notice.
I really wanted a cigarette. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to smoke it. Hearing a knock at the door I jump slightly.
“Hey girl”. Lexi grinned as she pulled me in for a hug. “It’s quiet in there so I thought I’d come say hi”. As she sat on the edge of the bed I stood back against the window. “You, okay?”. She asked.
“I don’t know”. I shrugged. I could hear voices outside that sounded familiar. “Is Sasha here?”. I asked looking out the window.
“She’s been staying here”. As she stood next to me, she grabbed my hand. “Drama as always but forget that what’s going on with you?”.
“She’s arguing with another girl”. I said dismissing her question. “Who is that? Jared is down there with Duke”.
“You don’t want to get involved Ava. I know she’s family, but she sure likes to stir the pot. She’s always arguing with someone. I don’t see what Jared sees in her”.
“You can’t help who you fall in love with Lex”. Sasha wasn’t that bad. She wasn’t that type of girl but then again, a girl with a broken heart was capable of anything.
“She wouldn’t have cheated on him if she was in love with him. Jared deserves better”. She scowled.
Frowning at her I made a face. Was she trying to tell me something. “Lexi?”.
“Okay so I like girls more than boys, but I have a soft spot for Jared”.
“You do?”. I questioned.
“Don’t give me that look. I would never sleep with someone else’s man. Jared isn’t available and I respect that”.
As far as I was led to believe Jared and Sasha weren’t together. “So, you like him?”. I grinned.
“I like you”. She smirked. “Doesn’t mean I can have you now does it”. Shaking my head I rolled my eyes. “And I said I have a soft spot for him not that I like him”.
“Same thing”. I shrugged. “I’m going to get a drink”. My nose was bothering me, and I wanted to see what the arguing was about. If they were outside, then church was finished.
“I’m sure you are”. She smirked as we headed for the bar area. Things were heated. You could hear them over the music. “You want a beer?”. She asked as she slipped behind the bar.
“Orange juice please”. Alcohol wasn’t a choice until I knew for sure I wasn’t pregnant. “Could you give me some chips to”.
“A soft drink”. She frowned placing it in front of me. “You feeling, okay?”.
“I’m driving back home tomorrow so I want to be fresh”. I wasn’t lying. Taking a sip of my juice the hairs on the back of my neck stood as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
“You feeling better?”. He whispered.
“Yeah”. Opening my chips, I began eating them. “You didn’t tell me Sasha was here”.
“She’ll be getting shipped the fuck away if she doesn’t stop her bullshit. Lex get us a beer”.
“What’s that all about?”. I asked. They were still at it outside and yet no one was doing anything to stop it.
“The fuck if I know”. Rubbing his eyes a yawn escaped his mouth. He looked exhausted. “Jared better handle that”.
“I’m just going to pee”. I wanted to make sure she was okay.
“Ava”. He warned but I was already walking towards the door. Pushing the door open I caught their attention.
“I didn’t know you were here”. Sasha ran towards me. “Please can I come home with you”. She cried. “I can’t stay here Ava; they can’t keep me here”.
What in the world was that. Glancing down at her stomach my mouth fell open. She was pregnant.
“Please Ava, I’m begging you”.
How far along was she and more importantly who was the dad?
I didn’t know what to say. They were keeping her here because she was pregnant. Hiding her away, but why?
“Jared?”. Shaking his head, he couldn’t look at me. That told me he wasn’t the dad. My heart broke for him because I knew he would never come back from this.
“She’s not going anywhere. She’s staying here until further notice”. Duke said. “Carla take her inside and make sure she doesn’t go anywhere”.
“You can’t keep doing this”. She cried. “I’m not your prisoner Duke”.
“No, you’re my fucking sister and you stupidly got yourself knocked up by a scumbag. Get inside Sasha and don’t fucking argue”.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and why was I just finding out about it? I was more upset that Jared didn’t tell me. I thought we were close enough now for him to know he could talk to me.
“Don’t give me that look”. He sighed as he lit up a smoke. “I was going to tell you”.
“What look?”. I asked crossing my arms over my chest. If he didn’t feel like he could tell me then I wasn’t going to pry. It was nothing to do with me.
“You’re pissed off I didn’t tell you”. As he took a step towards me, I took one back.
“It’s none of my business”. I had my own issues to deal with.
“I was going to tell you”.
“But you didn’t and that’s okay”. I shrugged. “Don’t be too hard on her Jared. She is pregnant after all”. Turning around I made my way back inside.
The clubhouse had died out. There weren’t many people left hanging around. The music was off, the quiet conversations the only thing you could hear. It wasn’t late but it was late enough for me to go to bed.
“You okay sweetheart?”. Marko asked.
“Just tired”. I smiled. “Is blaze about?”. I was hoping he was already in bed.
“Aye darling he’s in the office. Go through the back it’s the third door on the left”. Kissing the top of my head he ruffled my hair. “Next time you come here bring my beautiful niece”.
“Goodnight, Marko”. Walking through the back I opened the door to the office. He was sat at the top of the table smoking a cigarette. Leaning against the door frame I stared at him. He would one day be sitting at the top of the table back home; he would be the one leading the club. That day was coming very soon. My dad was getting old. I could already see he was distancing himself, trying to take a step back.
“Come here darling”.
“You come here”. Leaning against the closed door I watched as he stubbed out his cigarette and got to his feet. Closing the short distance between us he wrapped me up in his arms and held me tight.
“Times coming where I’m gonna need to step up babe”.
“I know”. I wasn’t dreading the day it happened, but I knew as soon as it did, he would be around less than he already is.
“How do you feel about that?”. He asked.
It didn’t matter how I felt I always knew it was going to happen. My dad would step down and he would take over. It’s always been that way. This was the life we were supposed to have.
“My dad’s getting old Blaze and I’ve already noticed he’s trying to distance himself. If it’s your time to step up, then I’m with you. Now can we go to bed?”.
“You go I won’t be long”. Kissing my forehead, he brushed his nose against mine.