It was just after 11 the time I had dried out my hair and slipped into my pjs. Blaze hadn’t come back but I knew he was around. Walking into the bar area I stopped when I noticed Cage.
“Not past your bedtime?”. He grinned taking a sip of his beer.
“Meant to ask did you ever get your balls back from Ally?”. I smirked watching the grin fall from his face.
“Meanie”. He huffed as I took a seat beside him at the bar.
“So, what’s going on?”. I asked grabbing his beer and taking a sip. Looking around the bar I frowned when I couldn’t find Blaze.
“He’s out with Jared”. Taking his beer back he shoved my shoulder. “Get your own damn beer woman”.
“Out where?”. I questioned.
“Too many questions short ass ask him when he gets back”.
“Okay”. Leaving him to it I slipped behind the bar and started to make myself busy.
……………
It was almost 1am and Blaze wasn’t back yet. The bar was now empty except Cage who was still sat nursing a beer. “You heading home or are you staying here for the night?”.
“How quick did it take for you to get pregnant?”.
“Excuse me?”. His question threw me off guard, and I didn’t expect it. It’s not every day you get asked that.
“Never mind”.
“Everleigh wasn’t planned she just kind of happened. How long have you two been trying?”. I asked moving around the bar and taking a seat beside him. I hated that Ally was going through this and didn’t tell me. I needed to make more of an effort. We used to be inseparable and now we hardly see each other.
“A good few months. Shit Ava what if it’s me. What if I can’t give her what she really wants?”. This wasn’t idiotic childlike Cage speaking, this was a man that loved his old lady and was struggling.
“Hey”. Placing my hand on top of his I squeezed. “Don’t think like that Cage. Have you gone to see a specialist or even went and had a chat with your doctor?”.
“She doesn’t listen and every time I bring it up, we end up fighting. I know she wants a kid Ava; I see the way she looks at Everleigh. I don’t know what else I can do to make it better”.
“When was the last time you took her out?”.
“Ha maybe you should ask when the last time I saw her. She’s always working pulling double shifts. It’s like she can’t stand to be around me anymore”.
I felt his heartbreak. I knew it was hard for him to be having this conversation with me. Cage was always the one joking around, but I knew this was hurting him.
“I’m sure that’s not true. I know how much she loves you. Don’t give up on her Cage if you love her then you need to make her listen”.
“I’ve tried Ava I’ve tried everything. Maybe we aren’t meant to be”. Shrugging his shoulders, he pushed himself off the stool. “Sorry for putting a dent in your night with all my shit. I’ll catch you later sweetheart”. Kissing the side of my head he left.
First Jared and now Cage. What was happening? Locking the doors, I walked behind the bar and poured myself a drink. I really didn’t know how lucky I was. We may have a few hiccups, but we were here, and we were together. Finishing off what was in my glass I turned off the lights and headed to bed.
I had no idea what time it was when he came in. Only when his arms circled my waist, and he pulled me against him did I start to stir. “What time is it?”. I mumbled turning around so I could face him.
“Late”. Moving closer to him I lay my head against his chest and snuggled deeper.
“Blaze?”.
“Yeah babe?”.
“Why do you smell like smoke?”. He didn’t always tell me what he had been up to, and I was fine with it. I didn’t argue because I knew sometimes it was better if I didn’t know.
“It’s nothing go back to sleep”. Kissing the top of my head he lay his hand against my hip.
“Blaze?”.
“Yeah?”.
“She wants you to be her dad”.
“What?”. Sitting up he turned on the bedside lamp. “You told her?”. He seemed anxious nervous even. “You told her without me?”.
“She asked me”. I whispered sitting up, so my back was against the headboard. “After her bath she just came out with it. It broke my heart; I hate lying to her”. I know she wouldn’t understand much but I always wanted him to be in her life.
“She really wants me to be her dad?”.
“You are her dad Blaze”. Taking his hand in mine I laced our fingers together. “You’re not going to fuck this up. I can see how much you really want it. Take it, take us”.
“I never thought I’d get to be a dad again. I fucked up the first time Ava and that’s why I’m so scared. She’s so precious and I don’t want to lose you both by doing the wrong thing”.
“You’re not going to”. Sighing I let his hand go. I don’t know how many times we were going to have to have this conversation. I knew he needed reassurance, but we weren’t going anywhere. I hated that this was holding him back. “And if you do then I’ll kick your ass”. Grinning at him I leaned over placing my lips against his. “I love you Blaze I always have and now I’m ready to start my life with you”.
“Don’t know how the fuck I survived all those years without you”. Grabbing my face in his hands he stared at me never once breaking eye contact. “Fuck I’m the luckiest bastard alive”. Smirking he placed a soft kiss against my forehead. “I’m game sweetheart”.
..
Hearing the little feet running along the carpet I peeled open my eyes and smiled. There she stood teddy in hand waiting for me to get up.
“Morning baby”. I whispered catching a glimpse of the clock. It had just turned 6. Blaze was still out cold, catching flies and snoring. “Come on then let’s go make breakfast”.
Getting out of bed I slipped my housecoat on and my feet into my slippers. “I’ll do it”. Came the groggy voice from beside me. He was already peeling back the cover. “I’ve got it you sleep you didn’t get in till late”.
“You sure babe?”.
“I’m sure”. Picking her up into my arms I closed the door behind us and made my way to the kitchen. “Okay baby how bout some eggs this morning. We’ve got a busy day ahead of us”. I had a meeting at 9 with a pre-school, I had to drop into the hospital and then try to move back into my house. Placing her onto a chair I went about the kitchen preparing her breakfast.
Fixing myself a coffee I whisked the eggs so they wouldn’t get stuck to the bottom of the pot. She was really quiet this morning and it wasn’t like her.
“Everleigh?”.
“Yes mommy?”.
“You okay baby?”. Placing some toast into the toaster I walked to where she was sitting. Placing my hand across her forehead I frowned. She didn’t have a temperature and usually she was only this quiet when she wasn’t feeling good.
“Sore tummy mummy”. Wiping at her eyes a yawn escaped her mouth.
“How about I fix you some warm milk and go fetch your blanket?”. I wish I could take it from her. I didn’t like to see her unwell.
“We watch Peppa?”.
“Sure baby”.
After I fixed her milk and grabbed her blanket, I got her settled on the couch. Turning on the television I put it loud enough just so she could hear it.
“Mommy is Blaze here?”. With her thumb in her mouth, she held onto her blanket.
“He’s here baby but he’s still sleeping”.
“Can he play with me today?”.
“How about we wait until you’re feeling better before we go ask him yeah?”.
“Okay mommy”.
It didn’t take long before she was sleeping that’s when I knew she was sick. Taking a seat beside her I took out my phone opening a new message. I needed to speak with Ally. I didn’t like that our friendship wasn’t the same anymore.
‘You free for coffee?’
After hitting send I waited patiently for her to reply. I didn’t like that she was going through this and there was not a thing I could do or say that would make it better.
Starting a family was a massive thing but it wasn’t easy especially if it wasn’t happening. I didn’t know where I would be if I didn’t have Everleigh. She changed my life; the way I do things and the way I think. Nothing or no one will ever come before her.
“Morning sweets”. Kissing the side of my head he stole the cup from my hand and finished what was in it. “She, okay?”. He frowned placing his hand against her forehead.
“She’s not feeling so good”. I said just as my phone vibrated.
‘Working all day gal 🙁 I miss your face!!’
“Should we reschedule the meeting with the pre-school?”. I wasn’t aware that I had told him about that, must have slipped my mind.
“I can’t”. I sighed. I had been waiting weeks for a space to open and I was taking it. “It could be months before another space opens up. I want her in pre-school”. It would help her, and it would let me get back to work. It would let us get into a routine.
“Then how about you go do what you’ve got to do, and she can hang with her old man today”.
“Yeah?”. I grinned getting to my feet. “She’ll be so excited. She’s already asked about you today”. Taking my mug back I headed to the kitchen for a fresh coffee.
“I’m going to make the effort Ava. I’m going to be there for both of you”.
“I know that”. Filling up two mugs I passed him one. “You want breakfast?”. I asked.
“Remember the last time you tried to cook?”. He smirked taking the coffee I was offering. “Pretty sure you set the smoke alarm off a dozen times”.
“Oh, haha very funny do you want breakfast or not?”. Poking his chest, I stood on my top toes and pressed my lips against his. Sitting his mug down he slipped his arms around my waist and lifted me, so I was safely seated on the countertop.
“She’ll be okay yeah?”.
“She’s just a little unwell Blaze she’ll be fine”. Resting my head against his chest I listened to his heartbeat. Maybe I was rushing this whole us being a family, but I so desperately wanted it to happen. We had wasted years apart and I wasn’t prepared to lose anymore. “You know she adores you already right. Talks about you all the time”. Rubbing my nose against his I stared into those deep brown eyes.
His eyes so much like hers.
“Think it’s time we tell her the truth?”. He asked putting a little distance between us.
“I don’t know”. I sighed. “I mean once we do that’s it”. He needed to know that he had to be there. I’m not saying he isn’t already but it’s little things like forgetting we made plans. I know he’s busy and has a lot going on, but she comes first.
“What do you mean that’s it?”.
I wasn’t going to start a fight with him. “We’ll tell her but not right now. I have to go get ready can you keep an eye on her?”. Getting down from the counter I grabbed my coffee cup.
By the time I had finished getting ready Everleigh was awake and feeling much better.
“Mommy I spend the day with Blaze?”. She grinned as I lifted her into my arms. “We get ice cream and play with his bike and eat chocolate”.
“I can see you’re feeling better”.
“I fixed her some milk when she woke. I know how much she likes it”.
“Okay baby be good for Blaze I won’t be long”. Kissing the top of her head I placed her back onto her feet.
“You need me call me, okay?”. Kissing his cheek his arms slipped around my waist. “Blaze I can’t be late”. As his arms tightened, he crashed his lips to mine.
“You need me you call me”. He whispered his hand smacking against my ass as he let me go. Grinning at him I rolled my eyes.
“Just call me okay”.
“Go we’ll be fine”.