“Mommy”. She sighed her little hand cupping my cheek.
“Teeth brushed then bed”. I know I shouldn’t brush what she said under the carpet, but I really didn’t know what to say. I had to tell her the truth, but I had to find the right time and when that time came, I wanted Blaze to be there.
“Blaze”. She grinned as he handed me her pjs.
“Hey darling you ready for bed?”. Crouching down beside her he kissed her forehead. “You, okay?”. He asked me his hand resting on my knee.
“Yeah, good listen I’ve got her why don’t you go have a beer with the guys”. Drying her off I slipped on her pjs and watched as she began to brush her teeth.
“Ava”….
“I’ll come see you when she’s sleeping”.
“You mind if I take her. Everleigh how bout a story before bed?”. He asked and just like that she was in his arms.
Talk about being daddy’s little girl.
“You take her I’ll fix some warm milk”. As I went to walk by his hand grabbed mine. “What’s wrong?”. Nothing was wrong I was just a little shocked at what Everleigh had asked.
“Nothing’s wrong go take her to bed I’ll be through in a minute”.
Smiling at the guys as I passed, I stood at the stove staring out the back window. This is when it all got real. Everything was going well, and I knew now she needed to know the truth. I didn’t want her to resent me later in life when she got older.
Pouring some milk into a pot I turned the stove on. I knew she’d be sleeping by the time the milk was hot, but I knew it also helped her get to sleep and she had it most nights.
“You’re quiet tonight”.
Jared.
“Observing”. I smiled. “Spoke to Sasha yet?”. I knew it was a touchy subject, but I didn’t want him to build it all up inside and then blow and do something stupid like find the guy she slept with. Let’s face it he’d kill him.
“Ava”. He sighed.
“Okay, okay”. Holding my hands up I let it go. He wasn’t ready to speak with her and I wasn’t going to put pressure on him to do so. Testing her milk, I poured it into her cup. “You free tomorrow around 1?”.
“Should be how come?”.
“Moving back into my house tomorrow and I need a hand with some old boxes”. I had Blaze but I knew Jared needed something to keep his mind occupied.
“Who needs to move boxes?”. Blaze asked. He always caught the end of a conversation.
“You and Jared are helping me move back into my house. My dad sent the prospects to gather up all my things. They’re lying in the garage I want them moved before they get damp”.
“That a good idea?”. He asked taking out a smoke and leaning against the counter. It was the best idea and I needed out of the clubhouse. Don’t get me wrong I loved being here and I loved Everleigh being around family, but I wanted our own space.
“And why wouldn’t it be?”. I asked as I began to clear the table.
“Two of my girls moving out I don’t think I like that idea”.
“Are you not coming with us?”. I fired back as I placed the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
“And that’s my queue I’ll see you guys later”. Jared grinned at me as he slapped Blaze on the shoulder “See you at church”.
“Is that what you want?”.
“To have my family under one roof yes but if you don’t want to then you don’t have to, but I need to move out”. I wasn’t going to be mad if he wasn’t ready. I knew he was going through something’s that he needed to sort out.
“Don’t want to rush things babe and I don’t want you to get sick of the sight of me”.
After I finished loading the dishwasher, I turned it on. I didn’t want to rush anything either, but I wanted us to be settled and together. Opening the fridge, I grabbed two beers handing him one.
“You pissed?”.
“Not pissed I just want us settled”. Taking a seat at the table he matched my movements sitting across from me. “I need to get Everleigh settled into our home. I need to enrol her into preschool, and I need to start thinking about work. I get you’re busy Blaze, I just thought it would all work out better if we were under the one roof”.
“I get that babe I just don’t want to fuck it up”.
“We have to try, and we can’t if you aren’t with us”. I get that he was scared he wasn’t the only one, but it was time we started to live our life’s together as a family. “You want to be her dad and for that to happen you have to be there”.
“Don’t throw that in my face Ava”.
“I’m sorry”. Sighing I placed my hand on top of his. “Just forget I said anything but be around tomorrow to help me”.
“Ava”.
“It’s okay I get it you aren’t ready for us to be a family, but we’ll be here when you are”. Pushing my chair back, I got to my feet. I was surprised by this I thought this was what he wanted.
“Babe”.
“Don’t”. I sighed as he grabbed a hold of my wrist. I wanted to bury myself in the bath and be done with this day. I had yet to tell him about bumping into Nate. “I’m going for a bath listen out for Everleigh please”. And I left him to it.
Sinking deeper into the tub it was like all my troubles melted away. Was I coming on to strong about us all being under one roof? I waited long enough, and I knew what I wanted. I couldn’t do this on my own again I needed him.
Hearing the bathroom door hit off the wall a sigh left my mouth before I opened my eyes.
“Ain’t fucking fighting with you babe”. Running a hand through his hair I watched as he pulled the T-shirt over his head dropping it on the floor, his jeans followed. I knew what was coming next.
“Suppose I’ve to move forward?”. I asked my eyes raking over his body. God he was perfect and for his age his body was smoking. Smirking at me he pulled his boxers off, trying my hardest I kept my eyes locked with his. “You can’t seduce me with that thing it won’t work”. I lied causing him to break out into a full-blown grin.
“Not trying to seduce you Ava now move forward”. Doing as I was told I moved forward pulling my knees to my chest. It had been a long time since I had been this naked in front of him especially with him being naked too. Feeling his presence behind me I started to feel slightly embarrassed. I didn’t have the body I used to have.
“Lean back”. His voice was stern as if he could read my thoughts. “Babe you can’t still be embarrassed to be naked around me?”.
I shrugged my body tensing when his hands touched my thighs. That horrible scar still lay there. The scar that brought everything back no matter how much I tried to forget.
“I’m going to get out now”. I tried to move but his arms locked around my waist. I was going nowhere. “Blaze”. I whispered finally relaxing, my head leaning against his shoulder I looked up at him.
He didn’t look happy at all.
“When’s it going to fucking stop?”. I gave him a puzzled look. “The tensing every time I fucking touch you”.
“I don’t-.”
“Naked darling. Every time you’re naked it’s like you don’t want me near you”. His arms slipped from my waist.
Moving forward slightly I pulled my knees to my chest. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him touching me or looking at me. My body had changed after having Everleigh. He had seen me naked yes but that was a glimpse.
“I can’t fix it unless you tell me what’s going on”. Hearing him stand up I watched as he got out wrapping a towel around his waist.
“Nobody has seen me naked in 4 years”. I whispered “My body”…
“Is sexy as fuck”. He growled cutting me off. “Those curves, damn baby. You’re beautiful Ava you always have been”.
“I’m sorry”. Leaning my head on my knees I looked up at him. “I want to be sexy for you”. I knew the minute the words left my mouth my cheeks were scarlet. “I want you to find me sexy”.
“Baby”. Sitting on the edge of the tub he placed his fingers under my chin our faces almost touching.
“I’m just being stupid forget I said anything”. I knew he would always find me beautiful I just had a tough time believing it sometimes and no not because I’ve had a baby but everything else that has happened to me.
“Don’t do that Ava don’t brush it aside it’s obviously bothering you if you can’t stand to be around me naked”.
“I never said that now hand me a towel so I can get out”.
“Fine”. Handing me the towel he left me on my own to get dressed. I guess we both had some issues to sort out and maybe moving in together wasn’t the best idea right now.