Tightening my arms around him he did something I didn’t expect. He picked me up into his arms and took off not stopping until we were locked in his bedroom.
“Really?”. I questioned rolling my eyes.
“It’s not what you think”. He smiled coming to sit beside me. “This is what we’re going to do. All that money that Nate has been transferring into my bank is yours. You wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for me”.
“I don’t want your money”. I didn’t I just wanted him to be there.
“Ava, you need money to live just take it please”. I could tell he was getting frustrated.
“Okay”. There was no point in trying to argue about it because I knew he would find a way for me to take it.
Taking my hand in his he brought it to his lips placing a kiss on my knuckles. “I have missed you darling. So, fucking much”.
“Missed you too”. I whispered. I did miss him, I missed how he made me feel. I missed how safe I felt when I was with him. There was no other person I connected with better than Blaze. Yes, we had been through the mill, but we worked.
“What you thinking?”.
“Nothing and everything”. I shrugged. “How did we get here Blaze? How is it that we haven’t been together for so long yet when we’re together it’s like we haven’t been apart”.
“I know baby. Fuck Ava the night you came back I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you standing there with Everleigh”.
“What did you think when you saw her?”.
“That whoever married you was a lucky son of a bitch. I didn’t think she was mine A and not for any other reason than I thought you had moved on”.
“What you thought I’d have the white picket fence. The husband and the perfect family?”. Scoffing I shook my head. “Do you know how many times I cried myself to sleep? Or how many times I’d wake up drenched in my own sweat because of the nightmares. That was the worst time of my life and then not to mention how scared I was during my pregnancy. I didn’t know if they were going to find me and hurt me. I had to protect the baby that was growing inside me”.
“Fuck baby I’m so sorry”.
“And that’s when Jared stepped in. I know it’s hard for you to hear but he looked after me, he looked after our daughter. At first, I was too stubborn to take his help, but he wouldn’t listen, and I realised that I needed someone. You have to believe me when I say this, but nothing happened between us, and nothing ever will. He’s like my brother and I don’t know if I’d have made it through without him”.
“I get that now”. Getting to his feet he pulled open a drawer digging around for something. Pulling out a packet of smokes he grinned at me. “Do you remember the night you found my gun?”.
Smiling at him I nodded. “Wrapped around a pair of my panties I believe”. Taking the smoke, he was offering I sat back against the headboard. “First time I ever shot a gun. Didn’t know it was loaded though”. Continuing to smoke my cigarette I watched him as he leaned against the wall staring out the window.
“We had good times A”. Stubbing his smoke out he ran a hand down his face tugging on his beard.
“Also, a lot of bad times too”.
“Think we’ll get past all of this?”. Sitting next to me he took my hand in his. “Think I’ll ever make you proud again to have that B on your finger”.
“I want you to be there for Everleigh. She has taken to you so fast it shocked me. She doesn’t do good with new people”.
“I’m here Ava for you and for her. You’re my family just give me the chance”.
“Chance to what. You keep asking for a chance, but you don’t tell me what you want”.
“Pretty sure I’ve told you what I want darling but it’s your decision to make”.
“Have you really not been with anyone in 4 years?”. I knew asking the question probably wasn’t the best idea, but it had been eating away at me since he said it.
“Ava”.
“So that was a lie”. Shaking my head, I got off the bed. “Of course, you’ve been with other girls”. I couldn’t be angry, but I was.
“Jealous baby?”.
“Yes” I whispered. “But we aren’t together, so I have no right to be jealous. You can be with whoever you like”.
“Tell your face that sweetheart”.
“Do you know what fuck you”. I tried to keep my cool, but I couldn’t. “And if-…” Pulling me to him I forgot what I was going to say. His grip was strong, his breath fanning over my face. Lifting his hand, he moved the hair off my forehead.
“Haven’t been with anyone Ava. No one interests me other than you”.
I didn’t know what to say.
“I want you baby; I want us to be together I want my family back”.
I wanted nothing more, but I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t leave me again
“Do you know that night was the first time I had come back here. Believe it or not sweetheart but I didn’t have a good time dealing with not having you by my side”.
“You caused it all and for what. I could have still been by your side”.
“Nah darling I had to take care of them and with us not being together it meant I didn’t have to worry about you”.
“What?”.
“I went nomad for you to have a life, but it didn’t mean I stopped loving you. I thought I was making the right decision and keeping you safe”.
“My world collapsed the minute you walked out on me. Laying all the truth on the table, this is the conversation we need to have. You broke my heart into a million pieces, and I swore to myself the day you left that I would never put myself in that position again. As the months went on, I slowly started to forgive you, the anger slowly left me, and I was doing okay. I realised that it wasn’t the end of the world and that I could get past it. Then Everleigh was born”.
Wiping the tears from my face I held my hand up as he tried to comfort me. “That day was the best day of my life. I brought our baby into the world and nothing else mattered. Everything that I worried about fell away just disappeared because she was it and she’s my life now”.
“I’m so sorry baby”. Getting onto his knees in front of me his head fell into my lap. This was the most vulnerable I had ever seen him; he was showing me this side of him. I didn’t like seeing him cry, it was hard seeing any man cry. “Please tell me how I can fix this. Please let me show you that I can be a good man, that I can be a good dad. Please baby just give me the chance”.
Stroking his hair, I pulled his head up towards mine wiping the tears from his cheeks. “Just be there for our daughter”. Holding his face in my hands my eyes fell to his lips before going back to his eyes. “Be her dad”. I whispered before placing a kiss on his lips. It wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t dirty it was barely a kiss but the minute my lips touched his I felt the electricity pass through my body, our connection sparking back to life.
“Just be here”.
Wrapped up on the couch I placed my hand against her forehead. Her temperature wasn’t high, but she did look a little white.
“Mommy I’m tired”.
“It’s okay baby”. With her in my lap and her head against my chest I wrapped the blanket around us and continued to stroke her hair. “Did you have fun will Uncle Jared?”.
“Yes, I did”. She yawned burying her head closer to me. This right now is what I lived for. I didn’t care about anything else if my baby was healthy and happy.
“She sleeping?”. Blaze whispered as he sat on the arm of the couch. Hearing the light snores coming from her I nodded.
“The little monkeys wore herself out, she’s been playing princesses with Jared most of the day”.
“I wish it was me”. he sighed moving so he could sit beside me. “I want that bond with her Ava, and I know it’s nothing but I’m jealous as fuck that he has it with her”.
Grabbing his hand, I squeezed. “You’ll get that you just have to give it time and she’s warming up to you so fast. Why don’t you take her out tomorrow? Have a day with her just on your own”. I wanted him to have a relationship with her so bad.
“You’d be okay with that?”.
“You’re her dad Blaze and I trust you more than anyone else”.
“Thank you”.
“Don’t thank me just be there it’s all I ask”. Moving myself forward I got to my feet. “I’m going to go put her down”.
“Can I come?”.
Shrugging I carried on my way to the bedroom. Putting her in the middle I crawled in beside her but did not expect him to do the same.