“I thought you said everything was okay.” Mom said as I walked into the kitchen. She was making dinner and I came to help her.
“It was and then I just ruined it. I don’t know why a part of me still feels like I shouldn’t forgive him easily and that’s what I did.”
“Oh, Shayan.” My mom said shaking her head as she passed me some vegetable to slice. “Do you regret it?”
“I do. I should have been more patient. He changed mom, he was putting in a lot of effort and I just ruined it.”
“If he loves you he’d come back to you.” She said patting my back.
“I hope so mom,” I said nearly in tears, how foolish was I?
“Don’t worry he will. How’s Evie taking it?”
“She says she wants to go back and misses him,” I answered chuckling.
“I can imagine. You’re not going to stop her from seeing him are you?”
“Of course not mom! She can see them anytime, as long as he wants to.” I said and Mom smiled.
“I can’t wait for you to have your own big happy family.” Mom squealed and I chuckled.
“It’s not going to be so big though.” I sadly said.
“Does he know?” I know she was referring to me telling him about not being able to give birth and nodded.
“I know I’m not supposed to but I kind of blame him for some things and I really need to let go if I want this to work out but I don’t just know how.” I cried out in frustration.
“You have to forgive yourself first Shayan. I know more than anyone that you blame yourself. For sleeping with him, falling in love with him, everything that happened. You have to let go Shayan, it was meant to be. Free yourself of the guilt you carry.” She advised and I nodded.
I needed to hear that, I have to work on myself. “I’d try it. I want things to work between us.”
“Don’t worry baby it will,” she said hugging me.
“I love you, mummy,” I said and she laughed.
“You just sounded like Evie.” She smiled saying and I chuckled.
“I know right. I love it when she says that.” I said smiling.
“And I love it when you do.”
We prepared dinner and ate, now it was time for the talk.
“So what did he do this time?” Dad asked
“Nothing,” I replied and he just rolled his eyes.
“Don’t give me that Shayan. You wouldn’t have left him if he didn’t do anything.”
“Well, there’s this girl I think he’s seeing. She came to the office and insinuated that they had something and I just got mad even though deep down I knew he didn’t and the next thing I was saying things I didn’t mean, dropping the ring and walking out.”I answered and my dad just face palmed himself.
“I’ve always warned you about your anger, don’t make decisions based on them. Don’t act on it.” He advised.
“I know and I’m regretting it, dad, all I do is hurt him every time he seems to get closer. I’m scared, scared of loving him again, scared of getting hurt.” I admitted sadly.
“At least this time you admitted it.” Mom chirped in. “And that’s the first step.”
“You shouldn’t have chosen the lazy way out. You shouldn’t have walked out like a coward. Stop denying your feelings for him or the attraction you have it’s undeniable. You’re just going to hurt yourself and the people you love. At least think of Evie.” Dad advised.
“I do. I don’t just know what I should do.” I cried out in frustration.
“You very well know what to do Shayan.” Mom said and I nodded.
I had to let go of everything, every single ounce of hatred, anger, anything working against this marriage. I have to work on myself also.
“You guys surprisingly took it well,” I said and dad shrugged.
“I’m not a fan of him but you’ve made your choice,” Dad said and I chuckled.
“Thank you for respecting my decisions.” I said and mom laughed saying.” We just have to.”
“I’m grateful for what you’ve done for me. I don’t know what I’d have done without you guys. I love you.”
“We love you too.” They replied and we hugged.
That night when I went to bed my thoughts lingered on Kel. I would have had my head on his chest and he’d have had his hands around my waist and there would have been a smile on both our faces. I wondered if he was thinking about me if he hated me for walking out on him. With thoughts of him and how to make it up to him. I fell asleep.
“You have a package.” Mom said as I came to the sitting room the next morning.
“Mrs Adrios, you’d have to sign here.” I sighed and he brought out the package and I knew who it was from instantly.
It was a bouquet of red roses and there was a little note attached to each. I took it from him smiling, it was thoughtful of him to get that.
“I nearly forgot, he told me to give this to you.” He said handing me my phone.
I thanked him and went in. “Who was that mummy?” Evie asked, noticing the flowers in my hands she asked another. “Did daddy get you that?” The excitement in her voice was as obvious as she looks. “Did daddy come?”
“No Evie.” She looked disappointed. “Maybe he’s going to come later. What do you think about the flowers?”
“They are pretty.” She answered smiling and I did too.
“He got you flowers. What does it say?” Mom asked already snooping.
“Aaaaaw.” She squealed.
“Mom,” I said playfully hitting her hands away and going to the room with Evie trailing behind while my mom just laughed.
I hadn’t sat on the bed for a minute when my phone rang and it was Kel.
“Hi. Did you get the flowers?” He asked.
“Yes,” I answered smiling. Hearing his voice felt so nice.
“Daddy,” Evie said excited and I handed the phone to her.
“Princess, how are you?” He asked and I could hear the excitement in his voice.
“I miss you, daddy. When am I going to see you?”
” I miss you too Evie. We’d see soon. Be a good girl to mummy okay?”
“I’m a good girl already. You didn’t get me flowers.” She said and we both laughed.
“I’d get for you next time okay. Can you give the phone to your mom now?”
“Tu me manques.”
“It’s not nice when you speak in a language I can’t understand,” I said laughing a little.
“Is there a language you understand aside from English?” He was teasing me now and I laughed.
“It’s not fair. What does it mean?”
“I miss you.”I wasn’t expecting to hear that and when I did it brought butterflies to my stomach and I smiled. ” Do you miss me?”
“No, I don’t.” I lied and nearly facepalmed myself. I was doing the opposite of what I was supposed to do.
“I’m sorry Shayan. I didn’t do anything with her or anyone else I swear it.”
“Why did you call?” I asked dismissing his words.
“I wanted to hear your voice and to make sure you got the phone and the roses.”
“I got them. They’re lovely, thanks.”
“I mean everything in the notes, Shay.” He said and I nodded. Realizing he couldn’t see me I said a flat okay.
“I’d call you back later okay. I’ve got a meeting to get to.”
“Okay bye,” I said dismissing him.
“Bye, daddy.”Evie chirped in smiling.
“Bye princess, love you.”
“Love you too daddy.” She replied smiling as they ended the call.
I was slightly jealous he didn’t say he loves me but then I wasn’t expecting him to.
“Daddy’s going to come yes.” she sang running around the room. I smiled while watching her, I was really glad she liked him.
I took out the note on the first rose which was “I’m sorry.” The next was “Nothing happened between us Shay.”. There were others like I couldn’t sleep last night without you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Come home to me. I miss you. The more I read the notes the more something tugged at my heart and I smiled. There were at least a hundred roses and notes. I felt like a teenager again reading them.
I spent a lot of time with my parents and Evie. Maybe I could visit Rosie. Evie and I bounded very well, we had a quality mother and daughter time. Night came quickly, dinner had ended. I had put Evie to sleep and was laying on the bed half expecting Kel to call. My phone vibrated, seeing it was Kel a huge smile crept up on my face.
“Hi, Shay.” Why does his voice sound so sexy every time I hear it.
“Hi,” I said trying to keep my excitement at bay. I was feeling like a teenager whose crush had just called.
“How was your day?” He asked
“Good. Yours?”
“Stressful. I miss you.” He admitted and my heart did a little somersault.
I said nothing till he spoke up again. “If you don’t want to talk it’s fine. I just wanted to hear your voice before going to bed.”
Tiny butterflies were swirling around in my stomach. “Ok. Goodnight Adrios.”
“Night West.” Him calling me West really sunk deep. I was a West now since I had terminated the contract.
I facepalmed myself as soon as the call ended. I’ve been waiting for him to call and when he finally did I ruined it. I didn’t sound enthusiastic because I didn’t want him to think I had forgiven him and I wasn’t even mad at him any longer. I really should start expressing my feelings towards him. All my thoughts were on him as I fell asleep.