On the brink of death.
Are you scared?
Yes, I’m scared.
How could I not be scared?
Hattie is scared of being alone at home in the dark, with no one to turn on the light. She’s scared of crying while eating alone, afraid of hurting herself while cooking, and of feeling cold with no one to warm her hands. She fears feeling insecure while curling up to sleep, afraid of falling ill and suffering without anyone’s care.
“Hattie…” Micah struggled to speak, “I want to hug you.”
“Okay.” Hattie crouched down and carefully embraced Micah, a strong medicinal scent emanating from him, slightly overwhelming her. She buried her face in his chest, unable to control the tears soaking through Micah’s clothes.
With the tubes removed, they finally embraced each other.
Trembling, Micah said, “I want to be healthy for you, but my body can’t do it. Hattie, I can’t be with you anymore.”
His speech was muffled, but Hattie could understand. She listened to his heartbeat as she knew him better than anyone else, understanding his pain and his struggle to part with her.
Shaking her head, she said, “It’s okay, Micah, I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself without you.”
“I saw the flowers outside…” Micah struggled against drowsiness and tried to look at the bougainvillea outside.
He hadn’t finished telling Hattie “The Little Prince” story, about how there are millions of roses in the world, but his rose was unique because he had cared for it, sheltered it and protected it from harm. Just like The Little Prince loved his rose, Micah deeply loved Hattie, till his last breath, because they were both uniquely precious in this world.
“Where’s my ring?”
When Micah was brought to the hospital, they removed his ring. The nurse handed all of Micah’s belongings – clothes, phone, and the ring, to Hattie. She had kept the ring in her shirt pocket all this while.
“It’s with me.” Hattie took out the ring, stained with faint blood on the inside.
“Can you put it on for me?” Micah’s voice was barely a whisper.
“Okay.” Hattie’s hands trembled as she held Micah’s left hand and slowly slid the ring onto his ring finger, the faint mark from years of wearing it still visible.
She wore it for him.
They say that a ring is a message of love between the partners, and as long as the red string is there, they will meet again in the next life.
Looking at their wedding bands, Micah’s breathing grew weaker, as if a balloon were inflating in his chest, suffocating him, making each breath more difficult.
Finally, Micah exhaled, his words fading with each breath, “Have your meals on time in the morning… no one will wake you up when I’m gone, and go to bed early at night, wrap yourself warmly, don’t catch a cold… it’s getting colder, wear more layers, drink hot water, go for regular checkups. Let your students accompany you… when you go out, wear a scarf, a mask, and a hat… too much wind will give you a headache, and take care of your feet… soak them in hot water, don’t feel it’s a bother… your medication is in the bedside drawer, don’t forget.”
Micah was the one passing away, but it was Hattie who cried the most bitterly, as these were all the things Micah had done for her, and now she was left to manage them all by herself.
Micah spoke, and she responded, regardless of whether he heard.
He seemed to be delegating all his tasks, but time waits for no one. “Keep the lights on if you’re scared of the dark, and let Coco be with you…”
“Okay, I understand.” From now on, she would have to endure the dark nights alone.
She knew that Micah was already tired and exhausted. Hattie held him tightly, both of them chilled to the bone, but together they warmed each other.
“Micah… Micah…” Hattie repeated his name, over and over.
In her arms, Micah uttered his final words, “Hattie, I’m sorry… I have to go first. I will remember you, forever.”
He peacefully “slept” in her embrace, a gust of wind blew in through the window, and the roses on the table withered, their petals scattered and carried away by the wind.
When people die, they vanish into the wind, just like these flowers.
Hattie’s heart twinged, tears flowing uncontrollably from her red eyes. This time, she held Micah for a long time, but neither of them warmed up.
“Hattie, I’m so cold…” He couldn’t warm her anymore.
His body was colder than hers, and she looked at the bougainvillea outside, “The flowers outside are so beautiful. I want to plant them at home too, Micah. I didn’t have the chance to tell you, I really liked the roses you bought.”
She knew Micah could no longer hear her, nor could he respond. Yet, she continued to speak to him, just as they always did, watching the sunset together.
“I will have breakfast on time in the morning, and I will set alarms for all the things you said. I’ll live well with Coco.”
“Micah, you haven’t finished telling me ‘The Little Prince’… and you often bring me roses. Am I also your most beloved rose in your heart?”
It’s said that when a person is lonely, they fall in love with sunsets. That day, Hattie watched the sunset 54 times, and when dusk turned to night, she suddenly burst into tears, sitting on the floor with her head resting on the wheelchair, crying like a child, overwhelmed by grief.
“Micah, I don’t want you to die. Can you open your eyes and look at me for a little longer?” Finally, Hattie voiced the thought she had kept inside.
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