Hattie remained bedridden, needing assistance with eating, drinking, and personal care. Her speech was incomprehensible, her muscles wasted away, her body wracked with pain… It was like being under deep anesthesia, on the brink of death.
If it were you, which option would you choose?
Hattie didn’t dare to think about it, but even without thinking, she knew what the best outcome would be for Micah. But she didn’t want to be separated from him. They had promised to be together forever, but forever seemed too short.
“Micah, you’ve taken care of me all this time. Let me take care of you from now on, okay?” Hattie pleaded, her voice choked with emotion.
Micah didn’t say anything. He simply lifted his hand, as if trying to wipe away the exhaustion on Hattie’s face. But even such a simple gesture eluded him.
Having fought against illness as a doctor for decades, this time the sickness had overcome Micah. He couldn’t save himself, and there was no one to save him. He was not afraid of death… For him, dying now was better than living in paralysis. But he couldn’t bear to leave Hattie alone. What would she do if he were gone? But if he stayed, he would only burden her.
In the evening, Hattie brought water to wipe Micah’s body. He had wounds and tubes inserted, preventing him from turning over. Hattie’s strength was not what it used to be, and she feared that she would break into a sweat if she tried to move Micah’s body. If she wanted to take good care of Micah, she would have to hire someone.
There was pain medication in the IV. Micah had just woken up but soon started dozing off again. By the time he woke up, it was already pitch black outside. He saw Hattie sitting there alone, legs hanging down.
He knew Hattie’s legs must be hurting again. If he were fine, he would gently massage her legs at this moment, knowing that she was cold and would hold her tightly as they slept. Having been married for decades, having loved each other for a lifetime, they would probably never have a complete embrace until death. As Micah thought about this, his eyes began to feel hot. It was time to make a decision. He couldn’t keep watching Hattie exhaust herself every day just to take care of him.
The next day, friends and relatives who knew Micah came to visit one after another. Micah had just woken up and couldn’t be disturbed too much. After they had visited, they left, leaving only his students behind. There were eight of them, accompanied by their spouses and children, filling up the entire ward.
“Hattie…” Micah had tried many times, but this time he called Hattie’s name the clearest.
“I’m here.” Hattie always felt that Micah would say something important at this moment, something that would be the most painful and unacceptable thing for her. But she couldn’t stop Micah.
A person’s life should be free.
Micah’s pupils slowly moved, scanning everyone in the room, before finally settling on Hattie’s face. He stared at her for a long time, as if he wanted to etch her into his soul forever, even in the next life.
The ward fell silent, no one spoke, everyone waited for Micah to speak.
After a long while, Micah took a deep breath and mustered all his strength to say, “Hattie… I’m actually… very afraid… of the pain… Let me have a death with dignity… it’s a release for me…”
Hattie knew what Micah wanted to say, but she couldn’t withstand the sudden pain in her heart. The bouquet of champagne roses that Micah had bought was placed in a vase on the windowsill, even though Hattie changed the water and added nutrients every day, it couldn’t stop the petals from wilting and withering away. A gust of wind blew in and took away two or three petals, just like a person’s life.
Hattie didn’t know how much strength it took to say that one word, “alright.”
She felt dazed and couldn’t even feel herself speaking. Her body responded in place of her soul.
How could she bear to let Micah suffer endlessly?
Micah finally smiled. The doctor came, and the students informed the doctor of the decision on behalf of Hattie.
The doctor nodded, understanding the situation. But still said, “With proper treatment, you can live for a long time.”
It would be a long time, but that wouldn’t be a happy life, nor would it have any meaning.
Micah wanted to live as he used to, cooking together with Hattie, walking the dog, strolling in the park, dancing together in the square, making wishes with lanterns in the ancient town, and listening to music in the bustling concert halls, shouting like young people… instead of lying on the bed like a dead man, relying on Hattie’s care.
Micah asked the doctor to remove the tubes from his body. He wanted to be able to hug Hattie one last time before he died, after all… he would never be able to hug her again.
“In that case, it may be painful.”
“I’m not afraid.”
The students, tears streaming down their faces, stood in a row and bowed to Micah. “Teacher, we’re leaving.”
Micah looked at these people, and images floated in his mind. The young people who had once studied by his side had become pillars of society, all outstanding. He had no regrets in life, having had such a group of students.
Trembling, he replied, “No, it’s time for me to leave… You all still have a long way to go.”
They kept their heads low, nobody knew who had choked up, and no one knew whose spot on the ground had become wet first.
The doctor removed the tubes from Micah’s body, and Micah requested to be taken to the window to see the bougainvilleas in full bloom on the ground below. The hospital brought over a wheelchair and lifted Micah onto it.
As he sat up, paralyzed from head to toe, his bones felt shattered.
Squinting his eyes, Micah looked down. The bougainvilleas outside were blooming beautifully.