Aoife didn’t want to hold on any longer, but there he was – Ethan, the one who died on his twenty-fourth birthday, standing before her unharmed.
He gently hugged her, “Aoife, the iron tree has blossomed, the crow will speak words of love. Let’s be ordinary people in the next life, living a simple and peaceful life together.”
“Aoife, I also want to be a kind person.”
“Aoife, I never left you. I just went on ahead to the next life to grow up early and protect you.”
“Aoife, I hope my death won’t make you sad. I haven’t disappeared. When you miss me, just look up at the stars in the sky. Don’t worry about not finding me, because I have turned into countless stars in the sky.”
Aoife wanted to hold Ethan tightly, but how could one hold onto the deceased? He was like a gentle breeze, passing through her hands.
“Ethan, don’t leave… Ethan, please don’t leave… What will I do if you leave? I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Aoife choked with tears.
Ethan appeared in her dream just to say goodbye. He turned into a breeze, gently wiping away her tears, telling her not to be sad.
He slowly disappeared before her eyes, leaving Aoife crying uncontrollably.
In her unconscious state, she kept calling out “Ethan’s” name.
She wanted to tell him to wait for her, to take her with him, but he insisted that she stay put and live her life well.
Sometimes, the living suffer more than the dead. No entry to heaven, no escape from hell, disgust for the human realm.
In such a vast world, there seemed to be no place for her to belong.
“Ethan… Don’t leave…”
Finn noticed that Aoife seemed to be waking up, and as he approached, he heard her call out.
He clenched his fists uncontrollably, only releasing them once his fingers hurt from the pressure.
He remembered that Aoife used to call his name in her sleep.
In his presence, she would shyly call him “Mr. Snearl,” but in her dreams, she would softly call him “Finn.”
How long had it been since he had heard those two words?
When Aoife woke up the next day, the first thing she saw was Finn, who immediately called for the doctor to examine her.
Finn had expected Aoife to wake up and be unable to cope with Ethan’s death. However, to his surprise, she woke up calm and collected.
But the calmer she appeared, the more Finn’s heart ached.
At this moment, she seemed to have followed Ethan to the afterlife, and this unnaturally calm Aoife was more frightening than when she cried and screamed. Finn dared not touch her, only standing at the bedside and softly calling her name.
“Aoife…”
Aoife lowered her gaze, her long eyelashes trembling like butterfly wings.
The doctor quickly arrived and conducted a check-up on Aoife, confirming that her physical condition was stable.
Aoife tried to say a few words, but her throat was so dry that she couldn’t make a sound. It felt as though her blood had dried up and blocked her vocal cords, rendering her voiceless.
“Get her some water,” the doctor instructed the nurse behind him.
Before the nurse could act, Finn was already carrying a cup of water over to Aoife. She didn’t refuse, taking a sip only to choke on it, her tongue in excruciating pain. The water was too stimulating, causing tears to well up in her eyes.
Her throat, already burning with pain, now felt as though it was on fire. Her tongue hurt so much it was numb, like a missing piece.
Aoife let out a hoarse cry, “Ah-”
The doctor, who was nearby, quickly wiped the water off her face, explaining as he did so, “Miss Powell, your tongue is injured. Drinking water and eating might be painful. Please bear with it.”
Aoife closed her eyes and nodded.
There was a straw in the water cup, and despite the pain, she slowly took sips. Each sip pierced her heart, and she wished she could just rip out that piece of her tongue to stop the pain. Then, maybe, it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
As she drank, tears streamed down her face and disappeared into her hairline.
The sunlight outside was beautiful, and the doctor suggested taking Aoife outside to relax.
Aoife’s illness was not physical; it was a deep wound in her heart called “soul-death.”
Throughout her life, Aoife had suffered from poor health, and it was a miracle that she hadn’t lost her mind.
Finn wanted to help her out of bed, but her legs were weak. He called for a wheelchair, gently lifting the puppet-like Aoife onto it and pushing her out to the hospital garden.
Once outside, the weather was truly beautiful. The sun was shining brightly after a few days of rain, and a rainbow had appeared, encircling the sun with a beautiful halo.
Though the sun was blinding, facing such a beautiful rainbow, she couldn’t help but look up.
In such good weather, Aoife couldn’t help but think of Ethan, with his sunny smile. He loved such beautiful weather; she wondered if he felt cold on the other side.
Ethan, the wonderful Ethan, how could he suddenly be gone?
She felt inadequate for not being able to protect even the person she loved the most. On May 30, his birthday, she hadn’t even had the chance to wish him a happy birthday.
Ethan said there was nothing wrong with living as a “weed” – resilient, able to see a broader sky when raised. But weeds were cheap, growing in the mud on the roadside, inherently trampled upon by people.
Ethan had completely disappeared from her world, and she hadn’t been able to hold onto anything he had given her.
“Finn, if we hadn’t met, things might have been better…” If she hadn’t met Finn, she would still be working at the restaurant, scrimping and saving for rent, living a hard but carefree life.
She used to lament her unfortunate fate, wondering why her mother didn’t love her, why her brother, who shared the same roots, always bullied her.
Life had been hard on her, but with time, the hardships only increased. All the suffering of the world seemed to be heaped on her shoulders.
Not only did she experience abuse from her family, but also indifference from bystanders, as well as the sorrows of life – separation from loved ones, unfulfilled desires. The seven sufferings of life clung to her relentlessly.
“If I hadn’t loved you, perhaps I would still be the pure Aoife…” The pure Aoife who might have met the astonishing Ethan earlier.
Being with two kind and gentle people was an ideal in this world.
Unfortunately… the Aoife who once introduced herself as “pure and clean” was long gone, joining Ethan’s ashes in the wind.
Aoife’s tongue had not yet healed, and her voice was intermittent and painful to listen to, but Finn could hear every word loud and clear.
Aoife had said these words before, but this time, there was a sense of despair that surpassed any previous occasion.
The old Aoife had some hope left, enduring the pain with the thought of living well for the one she loved. But now…
“Aoife, you have to know, I never wanted things to end like this. I might hate Ethan, but I never wanted him to die…”
Because he knew better than anyone else how much Aoife cared about Ethan.
In his lifetime, Finn feared only one person – Aoife. He feared her suffering, her rejection, her refusal to give him a chance.